Get behind me SATAN!!!!

by Elsewhere 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    That is what I said to those EVIL Krispy Kreme donuts tonight at the grocery store.

    They continued to beckon me.... eeeeeeeeat meeeee...... eeeeeeeeeat meeeeeeee

    I said once again with my arms in the air: Get away from me SATAN!!!!

    They persisted in their call to me... relentless and soooo alluring.

    I cried out at the top of my lungs: I REBUKE you in the name of Jesus Christ!!! In the name of the LORD Jesus Christ, Get behind me SATAN!!!!

    I began to speak in tongues and dance around waving my arms and hopping up and down... ignoring the repeated and urgent calls over the store intercom for security in the pastry department.

    At that point I saw the most amazing thing I have ever seen: The individual donuts LEPT off the shelf into an open plastic bag floating in the air. Then the plastic bag FLEW into by basket!!!

    I struggled to remove the bag, but it fought back resisting my calls to Jesus to help me get the donuts out of my shopping basket!!!

    Before I could remove the bag a few demon possessed security guards arrived and FORCED me to go through the checkout line and BUY the demon donuts against my will. Upon the transaction being completed I could hear the deep and evil laugh of SATAN himself coming from the donuts... mocking me and my cries to Jesus.

    By the end of it all I found myself in my living room watching TV as the demon possessed doughnuts, one by one, forced themselves into my mouth as I cried out: E´li, E´li, la´ma sa?bach?tha´ni?!?!?! (Mark 15:34)

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    "Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do."

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    *tummy grumbles*

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere
    "Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do."

    Are you trying to tempt me?

  • gypsywildone
    gypsywildone

    Oh man, I HATE that ending. I was gonna see if you could exorcise these demon cherry candy canes for me.

  • Kenneson
    Kenneson

    "The evil man gives heed to wicked lips, and listens to falsehood from a mischievous tongue." Prov. 17:4

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints

    hehe "demon donuts"...

  • KKLUV155
    KKLUV155

    Were they the ones with the white fluffy filling? Ummmm Yummmmmmm!

  • Stefanie
    Stefanie

    LMFAO Else!

    Ya make me smile even though i am depressed

  • dorothy
    dorothy

    What I would have given to see this display.

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