Marriage material in JW

by JustTickledPink 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • JustTickledPink
    JustTickledPink

    I grew up JW and was your average blonde, blue eyed Florida girl. I of course being a normal girl had raging hormones and was always looking around at boys. I was a pioneer though and homeschooled, so I only met JWs and was always of the mindset that I HAD to marry a JW. No other options.

    But looking around in our area there were a few nice single brothers, but not that many that fit all the criteria.... there were however several OLDER brothers that were single and were always kinda suggested as being "suitable marriage material." The younger guys either found the only "hot" girl and got married right away, or was maybe a bit too "wordly."

    My best friend married a divorced single Ministerial servant who was 15 years older than her. She was 19 and he was 34, then my other good friend waited until she was 25 and her husband was 40 years old. I think she waited until she realized there were anyone else left... I always amazed me that all us young girls were given the option to marry older guys who had either had a past, been divorced, became a JW after they hit 30, or whatever. They weren't pure virgins.... all us girls were so innocent and most of us were pioneers and we weren't rewarded with good guys.... nope, but all the older guys could get the younger girls. Made no sense to me.

    I do remember one guy who was 4 years older than me.... very heavy-set called me up and asked me basically on a "date" but in our conversation he interviewed me and asked me 1. Did I know how to make biscuits, 2. Did I know how to make fried chicken, 3. Did I know how to sew??? It was soooo stupid.... I can cook and sew but that has nothing to do with being in love with someone.

    It was soooo comical to me now. I ended up dating and marrying the best man and we're a year apart, and perfectly compatible. I can't imagine today, being 30 yoa, and being married to some 40 or 50 year old elder. YUCK!

  • kwintestal
    kwintestal

    I always noticed an abundance of young, single and looking women around when I was younger. That's why I believe poligamy to be the solution.

    Kwin

    (just kidding by the way)

  • Wolfgirl
    Wolfgirl

    That happened to me with a guy who was about 12 years older than me. He used to make his own fake tanning lotion. He was orange. His nickname, unknown to him, was Wood Grain. He listed his criteria for women: 1. Blonde, 2. Tan, 3. Spiritual. Uhhh...OK.

    Anyway, I'm neither blonde nor tan. He asked me out anyway. Well, his version of asking me out was, "What would you do if we went on a date?" He asked me in front of the entire bookstudy group.

    I just stared at him, looked at my friend, and then said, "Nothing, coz we'd never go on a date." Hey, if he's going to put me on the spot in front of all those people, he can get embarrassed in front of all those people.

    A year later, he asked my sister out. She's 5 years younger than me. Thankfully, she turned him down too. As far as I know, he's still single. Blech.

    My husband is 9 years older than me. We have a wonderful relationship. I've never been in any sort of relationship (friendship or otherwise) that is this easy.

  • JustTickledPink
    JustTickledPink

    I don't think there is anything wrong with dating/marrying an older man... just let girls and boys choose to date people their own age. Don't try to pawn off these older guys on young unsuspecting girls.

    The PO and elders in our hall were constantly "encouraging" me to consider some of the older brothers who would make such a fine "pioneering partner" for me. YUCK!

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    I'd like to think that my future wife hasn't been born yet.

    ~Bradley

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool

    The pickings were really slim when I joined the JWs at 26. The sisters? were at least 5 years younger than me, and knew almost nothing about anything other than clothes, make up, and field service?. At least, that was all they ever talked about.

    My future was looking pretty grim.

  • franklin J
    franklin J

    I connect with this post completely, tickledpink; as I grew up the same.

    As a young JW; your options for marriage are severly limited.For young "brothers" ; the field is limited to whatever available "sister" is around. In our immediate congregation there were a few; but in the circuit there were many. Because I was a full time pioneer, and my father was an Elder, I was considered a "theocratic" candidate for marriage; from a good family. HAH! What a joke; truth is I could not support myself, much less a wife and family.

    I was taught that all wordly girls were "tramps"; a concept I disagreed with from the start. I dated many sisters; none with a view to marriage though. And when I left the JWs at age 22 to pursue a college education; I was considered an odd ball for not having chosen a "wife".

    I did date quite a bit on the non JW side;developing many serious relationships, eventually marrying " a nice Irish Catholic" girl when I was 30; she was 26. After 18 years and 3 kids it is still smooth sailing. ....and no elders to answer to.

  • OldSoul
    OldSoul
    Kwin: That's why I believe poligamy to be the solution.

    That hope of 70 vestal virgins is what keeps me enduring...

    [whispers from stage left]

    What!? Wrong religion? Oh well, at least I got the self-sacrifice part right...

    [more whispers]

    WHAT!? Have to blow yourself? Isn't that anatom...

    [more whispers]

    WHAT!? I'm not exploding for any reward, thank you very much!

  • Mary
    Mary
    That happened to me with a guy who was about 12 years older than me. He used to make his own fake tanning lotion. He was orange.

    Oh my god........that just strikes me as soooo funny......and typical! Did he try selling this shit to unsuspecting brothers and sisters? I can just see an entire congregation of orange people showing up at the meeting.......oh man, I can't stop laughing at this one......He sounds like a regular Donald Trump: ambitious, knowledgable, successful..........LMAO.......

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    it was ridiculous the picking for marriage choices.. not so bad when you were fresh out of highschool.. but get dirvorced at 30 and then what is left? not much when I came from in Northern MN.. the FEW left in the circuit were either single because they were "giving their life to Jehovah" OR.. divorced for a good reason..

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