Well I have decided to attend a funeral this afternoon at the kingdom hall.An elder whom I feel was a very nice man passed away .
His wife has always been welcomming to me at the hall. And doesnt do the ,I dont see you thing, if and when we run into each other in public. she actually smiles and nods to me.
It will be interesting as my daughter and son in law and grandaughter (whom I dont see unless by accident) will be attending too.
It has been a hard choice as weather to go or not. Maybe my motives are twisted somewhat.
I did respect this gentlemen and also I want to show that by attending, But also I just want to show up and remind them all that Im still here and kicking and doing fine, in fact that Im doing even better.
Will drive my new , used car, a bmw and dress up nice. Am I wrong? should I take the beater car? Maybe just not show up?
Ive been trying to analize my motives here........Kat
Just be yourself, kat, and do what your heart moves you to do.
Dress up nice, take the beemer, and show respect to the man and his wife who you liked and you respected, and she has shown respect to you.
And remember, the best revenge is living well.
Best to you, funerals suck.
YES ! Go and be yourself. Stop worrying about what others think, it does not matter. The beamer is your car, you bought it, so why would you not take your car? It doesn't matter if it is a chariot or just a pumpkin. Initially you said you were going and then you started back paddling. What are you afraid of? Stop being afraid and GO! Show your respect to the nice woman and learn from her example. You can nod at the others like she does to you -- made you feel good didn't it? It is called kindness and love for your fellow man. You know, the unconditional love you get from people posting here. Her husband is dead and you are showing you care about her. Take the high road! You can do this! GOOD LUCK ! I am with you.
thankyou for the responses, I will go , and yes I am second guessing myself. A fault I am trying to overcome.I think I will make her a card to give to her and let her know how I appreciated her husband.
You go girl! Don't know if JW's give cards, since I am not one. We don't do that much here. Keep it sincere and simple, she may not be as open as you percieve her to be -- she still is a JW and you are not from what I gather, so don't leave yourself open to get embarassed or hurt -- express your condolences plain and simple and go home. You can be proud of what you did -- you showed love how it was received does not matter. Hey I am feeling happy philosophical because of your decision to attend, so here is a quote for you. I hope you like it.
"How do we love?
Not in big things but in small things with great love. There is so much love in us all. We must not be afraid to show our love."
When you see the wife of this man in town next you will not regret going.
If you don't go and see her you might regret it.
Blondie said it best. Be yourself. Yourself seems to be a pretty good person.
I totally can understand all your reasons for going.......the ones out of respect for the man who died.. for his wife who hasn't shunned you in the cruelest sense...
and why not remind your family you are alive? and why not look good while you do it??
but.. I know just the same it won't be easy for you.. probably take an emotional drain from you after.. so.. we're here if you need us when you get back..
I did it. I went to the funeral I got a peek thru the crowd at my grand daughter that made me a bit teary,I would love to hold her and tell her who I am.
I saw people I knew well years ago didnt speak to anyone except some lady next to me who asked me how i knew the departed but when I told her I was disfellowshipped then of course I became invisable.OHHHH except when they were looking up the scriptures she made sure that if I had wanted to I could read from her bible. had I wanted to look up scriptures though I would have brought my own.
The only really annoying thing was when a brother( elder who years ago wouldnt leave my children alone, and tried to get them to tell the elders all that was going on in my home)
He followed me out to my car to tell me he was happy to see me there. I really detest this man, so I said thankyou sweetly but then shut my car door so as to effectivly end any further conversation.
I cried a bit on the way home for lost friends and family, But I am glad I went. thankyou all for your encouragment
I got a peek thru the crowd at my grand daughter that made me a bit teary,I would love to hold her and tell her who I am.
This really really got to me K. Your grand daughter doesn't know who you are. That is so frikkin cruel it really pisses me off.