by Corvin 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Corvin
    1) how much is this going to cost each member of the group each week. Of is it free or by free-will contribution (with or without suggested amount)

    There will be no fees or donations asked for or accepted. (Your turn will come around for bringing coffee and snacky-treats however)

    2) is this going to be in his home or at his place of business (church?)?

    The first meeting will take place at my home. We will leave it up to the group as to whether or not they wish to rotate the meeting place or not. I have a very suitable room for such meetings and would and could host each and every meeting. No problem.

    3) how will spirituality vs religion be handled?

    Do most people even know the difference?

    As stated above, each member's personal beliefs about God and the Bible will be respected and protected. The essence of the meetings themselves will, I am sure, have some posative effect on all of our spirituality. A member should be permitted to share what has helped them spiritually, (since many are completely lost spiritually after leaving such a high control group of beliefs and teachings) which will include Scriptural distinctions and applications, which is really an individual stating their perspective and the meaning they have chosen to give it. There will be no evangelizing, however, and neither will any minister be present to indoctrinate.

    4) does he have a recovery agenda (outline), and what is it?

    We are still putting such an outline together, making progress, the details of which will be published here for all to check out and critique. I will be inviting therapists to attend and observe. This is another stepping stone to bridge the gap between what traditional therapists know and do and what x-JW's need specifically in their recovery. Suggestions for an outline or format is the reason I started this thread, btw.


  • BrendaCloutier

    Kewl! As you know, I like to put in my 2cents worth and end up contributing at least a nickel. :>

    As you progress, you may wish to involve a legal advocate. Have CPS and other info available.

    I'm sure you're way ahead of the game, but if I were starting out on this the first thing I'd do is list the basic, then advanced, issues of leaving the WBTS.

    (Not necessarily in order of importence)

    Loss of "faith"
    Loss of family
    Mental health
    depression and other medical issues
    Grief process
    Children's rights
    Substance abuse
    often resorted to to fill the void and ease the pain
    Domestic violence
    DF, DA, Fade issues, and choices if they still have a choice
    DF/DA rights & responsibilities (yeah, right)
    Current WTBS written attitudes on DF, DA, Faders
    Doctrine counter arguments and written materials

    Document, document, document. May just come in handy one day.

    I can't think of anything else, but hope this helps.

    Good luck, blessings, hugs


  • Corvin

    Good stuff, Brenda! Very helpful and thanks.


  • Sassy

    this sounds like a great idea.. I only wish I were closer to San Diego.. Being that I am only out a little over a yr and still running into new things from exiting, I dont' even know what kinds of things one would hope to ask for in a group as such..

    I must admit, I would love if ever down that way to be able to visit the group sometime..

    too bad a few of us from the LA area couldn't make a road trip..

  • seeitallclearlynow

    Sassy, why couldn't we though? I would gladly drive you down there. Be happy to pay for the gas myself and would be happy for your company. I regularly take fairly long roadtrips.

  • harleyquinn

    did somebody say roadtrip?? i adore san diego and never make it down there enough...

  • Sassy

    well we will have to give it some serious thought..

  • bebu

    Not quite the thing you were looking for Corvin, but related...

    I'm not an ex-dub, but ended up here because a friend of mine is... and I wanted to understand her better. I wanted to be able to help her, but I don't want to be forcing my thoughts on her either.

    As I've read these boards, one question that I (and maybe Larry) think up is: what kinds of advice do you give us non-dubs for interacting with newly exiting dubs?

    I think one of the best things is personal space... to think for ones' self, and not simply have a non-dub be the new crutch/replacement for the WT.

    Another thing is time... and not give pressure to make everyone think they MUST have answers NOW.

    Another thing is respect and dignity... wherever the journey leads them next.

    But ex-dubs also often feel lonely and disconnected. How can we non-dubs best express support, without being overwhelming? Do we need to be more inclusive? More inviting? Or just give space and time...??

    IF Larry is thinking like me, he sounds like he's researching out how to solve the problem WITH dubs... instead of figuring it all out by himself and just pressing it upon everyone else. So, the kinds of topics/questions/answers you cover together should not only help ex-dubs, but hopefully give us non-dubs some insight for being better friends to those who are leaving/have just left the WT.


  • Corvin

    Bebu, I think most of us appreciate what you are doing, and what a great friend you are being to your JW buddy.

    The thing is, you can never really know what a person coming out of the org or still stuck in the org and having major problems is going through.

    An alliance between non-JW healthcare professionals/counselors/therapists/cult authorities and X-JW?s must be formed. The gap needs to be bridged and understanding and concern created within the health care and recovery industry. For example, AA was simply formed by two guys with an idea and a desire to help others. It starts that way and others get involved when they realize how serious the issues are. They begin to see a niche that needs filling and they conscientiously respond to the call, just like you are doing on a personal level with your friend.

    This is our goal.

    Sassy, Seeit, Harley, everyone is certainly welcome to come visit us for one of our local group meetings. It would be such a great show of support! So c?mon if yer comin! We could also do Tijuana!


  • bebu

    I understand your goal, Corvin, and it's a great goal.

    Sorry to distract you!


    don't mind me class

Share this