Tatoo girl,
I have another take on what might have happened with the pastor you mentioned: He just might not be one who is able to think well on his feet. It may not have been about rejecting dialog at all, but that he was not a competent teacher.
The reason I am saying this is because I have been attending a lovely non-denominational church. I have attended four different Bible study classes, taught by 3 different elders and the pastor. Of all these men, the pastor is the WORST teacher!!! He must know this at some level, because he relies heavily on study aids, even when he has substituted (twice now) for the Adult Sunday School class where we study the Bible without any study aids. He just produces written material or a tape and doesn't spend too much time on reflection.
On the other hand, he is a warm person that you'd love to have at your bedside were you hospitalized; the atmosphere at "his" church is very loving and outreach kind and real; and he's a good storyteller, which makes the Sunday sermons inviting, too!
And when I discussed my Jehovah's Witness experience and beliefs with him in a private interview, he was welcoming and non-judgmental. However, I must agree that he was singularly UNinterested in trying to refute what I believed (or disbelieved). He said that I was welcome DESPITE not believing all that was preached from the pulpit as long as I didn't try to proselytize.
So my question to you was, did you waylay this preacher after services in the foyer while he was trying to greet his entire body of congregants or did you arrange a meeting which he hurried out of?
My suggestions to both you and Ruben would be this:
1/ Arrange a private meeting with a non-denominational evangelical
pastor of your choice.
2/ Explain your desire to know the Bible more thoroughly and ask
the specific questions you may have (write them down first and make a copy for the minister, too?).
3/ See if there are any Adult Bible study classes at the church and attend those. (After years of the Witnesses telling me that NOBODY had the "truth" like them and that ONLY THEY offered in-depth Bible instruction, I found that to be a lie like so much else.)
4/ Read those books about the lives and customs of ancient peoples and first century Jewish culture to gain perspective on the world the Bible writers were actually writing about. This will help you forget what you already know about how it all turns out... something that is difficult to do, but crucial to understanding the Scriptures, I think.
I must say that overall, I am leaning the way Bugsy, Intro and Think above have expressed themselves. There are many things that we just cannot know, never will know, but I also believe the journey getting to that point is personal and best traveled within oneself. Only then will you be at peace with your conclusions.
Also, I too picked up on your statement about needing forgiveness. Be kind to yourself, as waiting said, by being the first to forgive yourself. And move on from there.
Ruben,
RUN from the Witnesses. What you don't understand at present (and what the Witnesses will never tell you up front) is that once you become a Witness you are not allowed to "not like" some of their beliefs. In fact you are not even allowed, according to the August 1, 2001 Watchtower to THINK differently from anything that is taught by the Organization. (Ask your study conductor for a copy and read for yourself!) Trust me that there are other places where you can learn your Bible just as well without being forced to conform in thought, dress, entertainment choices, etc.
I wish both of you the best and welcome to the board!
outnfree
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
