I am new here!!!

by Sarah 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sarah
    Sarah

    Hello everyone! I have been reading post after post since January, (when my husband and I quit going to the meetings), just now getting up the nerve to say anything. You people scare me!!! There are some intense messages on here. No, really- I enjoy reading from all of you. Basically my story is pretty much like anyone else who has left, although what started my doubt is probably different than most.
    I had just had my 3rd beautiful baby girl-(which her next older sister is only 18 months older- and the other was 5)anyway, we were leaving the hospital and had to make a stop at the store. We ran into my brother-fleshly brother who is also a spiritual brother as well. He is asking me all the stuff like "How ya feeling" type questions, when I told him I felt pretty good except I am really sore from my surgery. With a very puzzled look on his face he sais "what surgery" I said--"I got my tubes tied!" I'll never forget the look on his face- his exact words were " Did you do any research to see how the Society views that!" I thought I was going to puke. I had just had my 3rd child, which a lot of witnesses don't even contribute that much to the earth, and I have done something wrong to my body because my husband and I don't want to mess around with birth control the rest of our life. I was so upset. But like a good little witness, I went home and read the article that my brother told me to read (although it is way too late now!!, can't go and untie those tubes)ha ha! So we ended up talking to an elder (him and his wife have no kids), and he said since we were so new in the "truth" that nothing would come of it. But according to the article we could have had our privelages taken away. They will even go as far and not let a brother become a MS if he had a vasectomy!! Sorry my story is getting long, I'll try and wrap it up.
    All this took place last August so for several months we just put it in the back of our minds, until one day I got in a BIG fight with my Dad (who is not JW), he kept saying something like "you guys are the false prophet" I was like whatever and hung up, vowing to never speak to my father again. And we didn't for a whole month. But it was because of that conversation, that I woke up on morning and thought you know I want to know what it is that he thinks he knows about the orginization-- just so I can defend everything he sais to me next time. Guess what? That's right, I got on the internet--WOW!!!! I spent the whole day reading all these sights, I bawled, I even called that 1-800-why1914 and talked with one of those ladies, I was so confused I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. Well when my husband got home, I pulled him aside right away and told him (nervously, not knowing what he was going to do)--and can you believe his response was "Oh great- I have always had doubts! this is great, let's call em up right now and tell them we won't be back!!!" Of course I had to let him know that is not quite how we handle it, because I have very close family in the 'truth", so we tried to fade out, but that didn't work, so my husband called an elder flat out told him to arrange a different bookstudy (it was at our house), take us off the school, and that we won't be back and he told him all the reasons why. And I wrote letters to my family members- which didn't go over well at all. I was getting calls, letters, visitors- I was at the breaking point. I had to go to my Dr. and be put on antianxiety and antideppresant medication. My family members that are still in don't completely shun me, but they mine as well, there is nothing there between us. The talk around our congregation is that we got a hold of apostate literature and it destroyed out faith!
    So anyway, we are sooo loving life right now. We love our freedom to do whatever WE want to do, with out having to do research first!! Isn't it great to be out!!! Our status right now is we are just inactive publishers. Thanks for listening-- you guys are a great group- please respond, I would love to hear from you!! Oh ya I forgot i wanted to know if a person can get DF if they got a tattoo? I am feeling so free, I want to get a tattoo real soon, but just wondered if they could DF me? Does anyone know?
    Hope to hear from all of you,
    Sarah

  • TR
    TR

    Hi Sarah, and WELCOME!

    I'm glad you and hubby are free now, Hope you were able to get off the meds.

    They will even go as far and not let a brother become a MS if he had a vasectomy!!

    They did this to my brother. I was in a different cong., had the procedure done, and nothing happened. Different elders do different things, I guess.

    TR

    "I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every
    form of tyranny over the mind of man." --Thomas Jefferson*

  • nelly136
    nelly136

    If youre taking control of your life and body and you want a tattoo
    go for it,
    glad you found your way here, dont be shy not everyone bites
    not sure about the df'ing for tattoos but if you've already
    detached from them would it matter anyways?
    nelly

  • Angharad
    Angharad

    Hi Sarah

    Glad you decided to join in.

    I've wanted to get a tattoo for ages, but I'm to scared. Not of being df'd just the pain.

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    'Afternoon, Sarah:

    Welcome aboard the good ship Freedom!

    Re tattoo's, a guy I had known for many years one day announced in the pub that he had got a pic of a ship's propellor tattoo'd on each cheek of his botty.

    Eventually we got him drunk and yep! Never seen anything like it in my life!

    Think twice 'afore ye do it, Lassie......!

    Englishman going a tad Scottish.....

    ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

  • bwoga
    bwoga

    Sarah....great to hear from you.....I was a JW for 12 years and had never heard anything about not being able to have a tubal ligation....man that's deep and I know plenty of JW's who have had it done....man....talk about control...I disassociated myself almost 4 years ago...and have never even had a thought of going back...The freedom in wonderful. When I was a JW I had no concept of who God was..I was just in an organization....nothing spiritual about it. It's so great that you're out and you're now able to think independently.....(there' that dirty word!) I'm really glad that I got out before I had my baby, he'll never have to be tainted by their false sense of superiority! As far as the tattoo goes.....I got one almost 3 months ago...AND it's a zodiac sign! Do what makes you happy.....I think what's important the God is the way we treat other people.....that we be kind and loving to ALL people, not just the ones who happen to believe like we do....Take care...feel free to email me [email protected]. By the way enter the chat sometime....would love to hear from you.

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    Hi Sarah,

    Welcome to you and your family.

    As you already know from your experience, Truth is strong, so strong that it cannot be defeated. Truth does not have to hide from anything because like diamond it can cut through any nonsense.

    hugs

    Joel

  • Princess
    Princess

    Hi Sarah, welcome! It took me awhile to post too. My husband and I left after our first baby was born, we didn't want the borg directing our lives anymore among other reasons...

    It sounds like you are well on your way to a great life with your husband and kids. Enjoy! Get the tatoo, who cares what the JWs think. I celebrate all the holidays and they don't df me. I wouldn't care if they did though.

    Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

    Princess

    "...and they lived happily ever after."

  • open_mind
    open_mind

    Welcome to the board.

    I am curious as to what article your brother had you read.

  • LDH
    LDH

    Hi Sarah,

    I hope there's a million other lurkers out there just like you, who just need a little push to get them out of that bogus org.

    You are now free to live your children's lives. Don't forget to celebrate their birthdays!

    Lisa

    PS Angharad, If you are afraid of the pain, go to the doctor and get a prescription for EMLA. It is a topical cream that you rub on about an hour prior to skin trauma. Your skin will go totally dead for about two hours.

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