Bogus ways of counting your Field Service Time...

by Confucious 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Confucious

    Hey guys,

    I'm sure it's been done here before, but a very funny post by Blondie spurred this thought.

    Blondie was saying how one dub would put WT and Awake magazines in the rear car window and count time driving too and fro... LOL!!!

    I was the master of the "dropping WT mags in the laundry mat" to "start your time" trick.

    The Ol' dropping... (Maxwell Smart)

    Anyone else have some gems???

  • Soledad

    On very cold days it was common for the friends to go to an elderly or an inactive person's house. They would drop by with a coffee cake or a dozen doughnuts and count the time they spent there gossiping, drinking coffee and eating cake as "spiritual encouragement field service."

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    When i was a Pioneer a long time ago,i used to start at 9 and knock on any old House...hoping they were out...thus starting my time!Then i would count the time all through the slow service a Hour to start with without doing much at all!!

    What a silly waste of time it all seems now.

  • ohiocowboy

    Staying home in a cozy house writing letters to put on people's doors who were not at home.

  • blondie

    Take an hour to write one not-at-home letter then photocopy it 100 times = 100 hours.

    This is no joke either. Some pioneers had to be counseled about this.


  • RunningMan

    I've posted this before, but here is the official, comprehensive guide for counting time:

    The JW?s Time Wasting Guide to Field Service

    Techniques for maximizing your field service numbers

    while minimizing unpleasantness

    The door rub - Many times, a Witness will avoid ringing the door bell, for the ostensible reason of not disturbing persons who may be sleeping. A knock is preferable - the softer the better. Some timid persons will actually pretend to knock, while not making a sound. This serves the triple role of preventing actual contact with the person inside, preserving the call as a not-at-home, which can be worked later, and counting time.

    The early call - A favorite technique is for a Witness to stop and make a door-to-door call, even just a not-at-home, while on their way to their meeting for field service. This allows them to start the meter, drive for a while, go to a short meeting, drive for a while longer, and then begin work, with the meter running all the while. Making that one early call can easily add an extra hour of countable time for every person in the car group.

    The service pace - If you have ever observed Jehovah?s Witnesses in their door to door work, you may notice that they seem to walk very slowly. Quite often you will see them just sitting in their cars or standing on street corners in small groups. This is called the ?service pace?. In normal life, these people move at the same speed as everyone else, but while the meter is running, they look like they are walking up their wedding aisle.

    The coffee break - In every morning of service, there must come a donut. Witnesses are allowed to take a coffee break of 15 minutes, while still counting time. So, they usually choose a coffee shop that is as far as possible from where they are working. After all, travel time counts, too. If you ever see a large group of persons wearing suits from the 1940?s and having coffee on a Saturday morning, you can be sure that they are Witnesses. When the world ends and JW?s take over, the world will be devoid of educated professionals, but, by God, there will be jolly good lunches.

    The public lunch - Closely related to "the coffee break", the public lunch affords yet another opportunity to count time while satisfying bodily functions. Here is how it works: A group of Witnesses goes for lunch. While eating, one of them places a magazine on the table in plain view of passers by. This constitutes "giving a Witness", thereby enabling the time meter to continue running. In many ways, it is similar to "the wooden Indian" (see below). Some persons have attempted to put a Watchtower in the back window of their car, and count time whenever they drive, but that's just silly.

    The literature tip - A commonly used technique during Watchtower conventions is "the literature tip". Occasionally, when JW's are attending a convention or other function, a group of them will eat in a restaurant together. And, when you get this much brain power in one place, it is only a matter of time before someone will come up with the idea of leaving a book or a pair of magazines for the waitress, instead of a tip. Their reasoning is: The message of eternal life is far more valuable than money. This has given rise to a proverb of the food industry: "When Jehovah's Witnesses come to town, they bring the ten commandments and a ten dollar bill - and they don't break either one."

    The not-at-home shuffle - Once a territory has been worked, the Witnesses must return to call on the not-at-homes. This takes more time than regular territory, because the calls are spaced wider apart. Often, territories will have only a few calls left. So, large amounts of time are spent driving between calls and territories. Many times, lazy Witnesses will specifically design their day to maximize travel time.

    The wooden Indian - You have probably seen Witnesses standing on busy streets, holding a small display of Watchtowers and Awakes. In most cases, they will stand completely mute, expecting someone to actually approach them and ask for a magazine. This is called ?street corner work?. It is ideal for those rare Witnesses who are so terrified of human contact that even public degradation is preferable.

    The empty house call - Most Jehovah?s Witnesses go from door to door on Saturday or weekday mornings. This is the least likely time to get people at home. Once it has been established that a certain home is always empty at a particular time, you can be assured that that is when the Witnesses will call.

  • SAHS

    I remember this older brother taking me out with him while he did his evening witnessing on the ships in the city harbor. To start his time he would first stop at the local bus station, leave some Watchtower and Awake! magazines on a bench, and then we would drive way over to the docks on the other side of the city to place some magazines on a ship. (When we first walked in, there was a bunch of Filipinos watching porn on a VCR, which I thought was kind of funny. They offered us some crappy tea.) When we got back to our town, he would stop again at the same bus station where we started, see that somebody had thrown the magazines in the garbage (big surprise!), and then leave some more on the same bench. Of course he was still counting the time for that too.

    Also, my dad used to take me on some ?internal ministry? calls to encourage visit with some inactive or even disfellowshipped ones. Once when we were out in Saturday morning field service, he dropped in on a friend of mine who had been disfellowshipped for about a year. He just chatted with him and joked around. Of course I said hello and talked a bit with him too. My dad didn?t care?he?s an elder. All well. My dad does know how to bring joy to the ministry!


  • Nosferatu

    I used to use the "rounding" system. I would take 5 minutes and round it off to 30 minutes. I'd have people at school asking me about the religion, and I would count that as time. If I talked to them for 10 minutes, I aquired a full hour.

  • Netty

    I LIED Like I would do absolutely nothing, zip zilch nada in the field service and when reminded pressured to turn in my time, (WHAT TIME?) I would pick a number of hours, just a few hours, nothing too impressive, and Lie, Lie lie. Thats about as bogus as you can get.

  • itsallgoodnow

    I like your style, Netty.

    I always felt it was appropriate to count any time spent away from what I would have been doing if I wasn't going out in service, so basically from the time I woke up that morning until the time I was back doing what I wanted to do... including changing clothes, etc. If I was in those clothes, I was counting the time.

Share this