Update on my life. Long read. Some good, some bad :-D

by Winston Smith :>D 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • wannaexit
    wannaexit

    Paul ,

    Check your PM

    wannaexit

  • blondie
    blondie
    I can?t help but stew over the reasons why she got mad at me for taking a job making less money.

    Because she used it as a means to be abusive. Damned if you do and damned it you don't.

    My father used to set impossibly high expectations and then when we would achieve them he would change the rules.

    She just changed the rules, Paul.

    Would you like to get together with Irrev and me. PM me.

    In fact a Wisconsin autumn party might be nice. Crisp apples and deep purple concord grapes, hot apple cider, apple pie with good Wisconsin cheddar and a nice roast turkey and the fixings.

    Blondie

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D

    Never give up trying to free your love.

    kls

    I know you fully understand that.

    Very passive-aggressive, really.

    Thanks for the update!! It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate, and there's nothing like the taste of freedom, is there??

    Scully

    Yeah, the comment has some weird tones to it. I'd like to think it was just a case of "foot-n-mouth", but:

    "out of the heart's abundance the mouth speaks" so I am not just dismissing it lightly

    Real freedom is wonderful! It's amazing how wonderful the world and all of the people in it really are!

    I am contemplating how the deferred happiness of the JW life - and the bare tolerance of their life on earth - affects the JW psyche.

    jgnat

    Well, after spending some time thinking about it, I realized that I was putting my ENTIRE life on hold for a raincheck [Paradise/New World/Big-A] that wasn't worth the paper you could print it on.

    It was scary when I started thinking about what I have done with my life, putting it on hold. But it also is invigorating now living as though everyday of life is precious.

    it's got to be tough...what do you talk about? Anyway, I wish you all the best in all of your endeavors with your wife, ... You know in your own heart that you are good...and all you can do is keep moving forward like you are doing.

    Evesapple

    Talk about?

    Ummm, not religous issues, that's for sure. Although she does get in little digs here and there. I'm sure I do as well.

    I guess we talk about the very moment we're in, and about why we still love each other.

    I do ask about peopole at the KH and let her talk a bit to me about what's going on in FS or meetings. In return I talk about Aikido and my "worldly" friends.

    What you mention is quite important to me. I am following my heart and trying to be true to it and the people I love and touch in my life. i want to look back when I'm on my death-bed and know that I always did all that I could for every situation without regrets for putting my own needs on hold. Tough balance at times.

    things have been crazy for me.. and I have thought of ending it all

    WF

    Brenda,

    I enjoyed meeting you and talking with you poolside. You can't end it all yet, you haven't published your book of poetry yet

    Besides, I never asked for your email addy so I can send you those picks of that waitress you posed with. Remeber that woman at the diner?

    There are a couple of great pics, you'll really like them!!!

    PM me with you email addy when you get a chance!

    Hang in there. You can't let life beat you down when you've made it so far after being in the WTS cult. You've survived more than most people are ever exposed to

      1. I have friends that swear, have tattoos and drink.

      Yeah, but I'm really not that scary in real life.

      Rachel

      my Snorting Princess,

      You weren't supposed to fess up to being my friend on a public forum. I was trying to be discreet about that.

      Yeah, there's a chance she can be won over in time. It's going better than I thought it might last you saw all of you in TX.

      So who knows, right?

      I hope your interest in buddhism gives you a greater sense of peace.

      Preston

      I think it will.

      I joined Aikido for numerous reasons, but I think that a spiritual aspect will be a main benefit.

      I haven't fully explained this to my wife yet. She isn't aware of the religous aspects of the Art, & I didn't want to stir the pot anymore than I am. I just explain Aikido more as a recreational interest to me for now.

      Tough situation to have to be married to somebody that doesn't trust you.

      czar

      I just think of it as her cult personality making these judgements, and not her true authentic self seeing me this way.

      I can typically look in her eyes and see right away which wife I am dealing with by her eyes. It's like dealing with someone who is possesed. I can't take what the cult identity says to me personally.

      Hell, I may have said the same things to her if my wife left the WTS & I was the one who stayed in.

      I thought she was packing up the weekend you were in Dallas. That shows a bit of promise for the future, perhaps. I hope so.

      Nina

      Yes, that was a surprise to come home and find her stuff still in boxes but not moved out. That was certainly a pivotal point in the marraige, and things have been steadily improving since then.

      Thanks for the congrats on the job.

      I do think of you and Chris and the very 1st phone conversation I had with the both of you. I constantly bring up the both of you in my mind and think of the time waited for things to sort out. I do see my wife's attitude changing from what it was a year ago, so I have to say that I have more hope now than I do a year ago.

      thx wanna, got it!

    2. Princess
      Princess

      Rachel

      my Snorting Princess

      Yes, that was a surprise to come home and find her stuff still in boxes but not moved out. That was certainly a pivotal point in the marraige, and things have been steadily improving since then.

      I'm so glad to hear that. I was worried about you, that's a lot to deal with.

    3. Winston Smith :>D
      Winston Smith :>D
      She just changed the rules, Paul.

      Would you like to get together with Irrev and me. PM me.

      Blondie

      Yeah, she has this amazing selective memory. I had to remind her that this new job fits the criteria of what SHE wanted to a tee.

      It's exactly what I want too, so I happy for the oppurtunity to work there

      Hey, jehover must be blessing me for my efforts!

      Ahhh, a WI Autumn meet-up with leaves turning color and some warm cider would be wonderful. I'll bring the carmel apples!

      I'll PM you with my personal info!

    4. willyloman
      willyloman

      Winnie: I'm getting along in years and have found that a job change based on principles and character almost always leads to happiness and usually leads to even more success in the long run. May that be the case with you.

    5. Badger
      Badger

      Paul!

      I wuz worried...but not now.

      I'm glad your life is tracking upward.

      Your wife hasn't bolted, which is encouraging...has she given a reason or a hint of it, though? did she say why she's staying?

      Good luck, chap...get to Texas if you need some more drinking, swearing, tattooed company.

    6. arrowstar
      arrowstar

      Paul -

      Thank you so much for the update. You are an amazing person. There is so much that you are dealing with at this time and yet, reading your words there was a sense of peace in your heart. Your direction has become clearer and you are walking your path.

      It's good to hear from you. I miss my huggin' buddy.

      Lisa

    7. Insomniac
      Insomniac

      Winston- Thanks for the update. It's good to hear that things are on track for you. Best of luck to you and your wife; one of these days, hopefully soon, she'll be able to see through all that cult nonsense and realize what a good (and patient!) man she's got.

    8. Special K
      Special K

      Hi Paul

      Nice to hear an update concerning you and your wife.

      Glad your making the work change because it sounds like the new job agrees with you more. although the pay is lower the satisfaction will be far higher. Also, from what you say it will take you more in the direction that you want your career to go.

      Happiness is what we all need to seek in our lives. Whether that be in our work or our marriage.

      Good to hear you read releasing the bonds even though sometimes not all of it seems so easy to apply. Ithelped me understand myself better as well as those people I know who are still in the J.W.'s. I have more compassion for some of the J.W. now because I understand more how one gets sucked into this cult.

      If you and your wife do decide to call it quits some day, at least you will be able to look back at the whole marriage and what has happened between you two and say.. "I really, really tried".\

      For now, though.. it sounds like you are both struggling to balance what seems important. For her, of course, that takes the form of pioneering for the WTS. For you, it's finding balance and happiness in your life with your inner self through akito, etc. and your outer self via your work environment.

      Good luck as you continue to try and work up that trust that Steven Hassan talks about in his book.

      You know, Paul,.. I do hear positive vibes in your post.

      Somebody once told me that you just can't Make someone happy nor is it possible to make someone change. Some of these changes you have made tells me you are doing things to help yourself lead a happier life. Being around happier and more contented people always makes me feel better..

      even though your wife is still in the borg..she hasn't bolted yet, maybe it's because you are more settled and happier with what's going on in your life and are happy about the decisions you have made.

      wishing you the best, Paul

      love

      Special K

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