Kidnapping children from the non-jw parents, was there a trend?

by Netty 11 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Netty

  This happened a few times, back in the 70's, in the congregation that I went to. There were a few families who were jw's, divorced and remarried, had (physical anyway) custody of their children, but the divorced spouse was non-believing and wanted their rights to the children.

  One family, when the father of the children went to court to get custody of the kids, picked up and fled the country. We later learned they were in Costa Rica. I remember at the time, even though I might have been 14ish, thinking this was really weird. Ends up, they moved back to this country years later, and the children ended up looking up their father and leaving the truth (and the mother who kidnapped them) anyway.

  Another story, one family who started coming to our congregation in the late 70's. the father kidnapped the children away from their non-beliving mother, in the country where they were born, Nicaragua, and brought them here to the states. THe kids had no clue where their mother was for a good decade or so. The mother hired a detective, found the kids, who were adults by now. Neither child remained a witness and one went to go live with the mother.

  SO, was this some weird trend back when i was growning up, (things seemed to be way more fanatical back then) or does this type of stuff still happen?
• 

  Bryan

  Netty,

  I believe the difference is that now we have many more laws to protect us. Laws such as not taking a child across state lines without other parent's knowledge and the need for both parents in order to get child passport.

  I am a victim of parental kidnap (mid-late '60s). I finally found my mother after more than 30 years. I am no longer in the "truth" and haven't spoken to my father in about 8 years (actually his choice for the first 6, now it's mine).

  Bryan
• 

  Netty

  I get what you mean about the laws. Wow, how wonderful that you found your mother. I remember growing up with these kids, thinking how terrible it must be not have their mother in your life. But the lengths that witnesses went to back in those days, such a terrible thing to do, just because the other parent was not a witness, sick, sick sick!
• 

  BrendaCloutier

  One of the Murder/Suicides here in Oregon, not Longo, but the other one that happened shortly after Longo, in McMinnville, was because husband had been DF'd in Calif, dutiful wife moved with husband to Oregon, and wife's parents were trying to get the kids, and her, away from him. Obviously for good reason.

  I was "stolen" from my birth mother when I was 8 months old by my gr.grandmother. My mother was 19 and unmarried, but more or less raised JW, never baptized. My gramma took me and gave me to the people who finally adopted me after a legal struggle. Seems like she wrote a coerced note that she wanted me raised JW, but later put me up with the Catholic Childrens something or other.

  So today I'm a recovering JW, not a recovering Catholic.

  I'm actually grateful to have been raised by my "parents". My mother had a difficult time through most of her life, and my half-siblings had a far more difficult Iife than I did. Some still have a tough time.

  Brenda
• 

  outbutnotdown

  When I was about 11 years old, my parents hid my friend at our house, from his father. His mother had just recently been converted brainwashed into Jwism and his father was against it. I never did meet his father, but thinking back on it, I imagine that the way that I was told to think about him was unfair.

  It is sad that these things happened back then and I imagine that they still do sometimes, but thankfully, like was mentioned, the laws make it tougher for people to get away with that now.

  Unfortunately, it seems that now the Witnesses try to do it in different ways (keep the kids from the non-JW). I am going through a divorce right now and my ex mother-in-law has called The Children's Aid Society on me 7 times (all not substantiated), and even took my four year-old daughter to the doctor and told her to tell the doctor ,"Daddy pushed my peepee in", and my daughter also told me that her nanny (my ex mother-in-law) hurt her in the genital area with her knee.

  I don't believe in a Christian type of God but I do have a great deal of faith in the simple fact that "good" people do fair better in the long run than "bad" people do, so I know that the truth will come out in the end, and that my daughter will heal as well, but it makes me SICK that people can be so cruel, supposedly "in the name of Jesus and God." My mother-in-law is a greatly respected pioneer in her Kingdom Hall and I even went to an elder that I have had always respected, only to have him tell me that he spoke to my ex mother-in-law and she said it was none of his business, and he left it at that.

  Unbelievable, that the head of her Kingdom Hall is informed of her allegedly assaulting a 4 year-old and trying to frame me, and yet ONLY BECAUSE SHE IS A JW and THEIR DELUSIONAL BELIEF THAT THEY CAN DO NO WRONG, it is left alone, without any probing!!!!!

  It makes me glad as hell that I am no longer a JW, since it may be that I would be that screwed up too, in that religion, that I could potentially do a similar thing.

  Thanks for listening...... Brad
• 

  Netty

  I'm actually grateful to have been raised by my "parents".

  Hi Brenda, I am glad that you feel like you were raised in a better place, good for you. So, you eventually met your birth mother?

  and even took my four year-old daughter to the doctor and told her to tell the doctor ,"Daddy pushed my peepee in

  Oh my God, Brad, that is just such a sick thing to do, I am sorry she is doing this to you, must be very difficult.

  my daughter also told me that her nanny (my ex mother-in-law) hurt her in the genital area with her knee

  What in the world? That is just disturbing. They will just stop at nothing.

  "good" people do fair better in the long run than "bad" people do

  I am with you there Brad, good thing to keep telling yourself, I believe that do be true.

  Thanks for listening......

  You got it! Anytime, thats what we are here for Good Luck, I really wish you all the best with your situation, and I hope too, that in the end the truth will come out, and you will be reunited with your precious baby girl.
• 

  alamb

  If anyone has any stories like these, I could really use them for legal purposes right now. The kidnapping can go so far as emotional kidnapping and blackmail also. Please contact me if you want to help.

  I have run across many horror stories which usually backfire on the JW parent. One girl was put into an assylum when she told her parents she didn't want to be a JW. She was 15 and the institution later found her a home with "real" parents after figuring out there was nothing wrong with her other than she had developed her own free will and used it. It continually amazes me how the WT mentality can over ride what is a basic instinct to protect your own children and provide them a loving environment. It so often facilitates disfunctional families which creates a vicious circle of justification/poor decision making.
• 

  outbutnotdown

  Alamb,

  You're dead on with the assessment of how the WT fascilitates dysfunctional families. My ex mother-in-law would be (and is, when she has any encounters with the rest of the world... which she obviously tries to avoid) recognized as being a VERY screwed up and even psychotic person if it weren't for the protectionism of their followers, by the WTBTS.

  IMO, it's truly one of the unfortunate things about democracy. People are allowed to "hide" their mental disorders by joining an organization whose entire make-up is delusional in itself.

  I think you have pm'd me in the past, but if you want any help or advice with my situation, feel free to do so again. It's sad that my kids and I have had to go through what we have but I firmly believe in learning from the misfortune and also helping others at the same time.

  Brad
• 

  BrendaCloutier

  I'm actually grateful to have been raised by my "parents".

  Hi Brenda, I am glad that you feel like you were raised in a better place, good for you. So, you eventually met your birth mother?

  No, Netty, not as my birth mother.

  When I was 7-10 years old my mom would drop me off at my gramma's (gr.grandmother) to play with Arlene's kids. I didn't know I was adopted yet. I was told when I was 13 - It was a shock. I didn't talk much about it nor ask questions.

  I later found out that Arlene was my mother when gramma died. It was gramma's wish that I not know who my mother was. Unfortunately, Arlene had been dead for 5 years, from a car accident, so I couldn't meet her as my mother. However, I feel fortunate that I did meet her as a kid.

  I can only imagine how difficult it was for her to see me playing with my half-sibs and not be able to reach out to me as her own.

  Arlene had finally been baptized, reproved, disfellowshipped, and still tried to be a JW. She finally gave up when she met her last husband who loved her deeply and treated her well, she got pregnant by him and DF'd again. This time she finally gave up on JWs

  She had no problems getting pregnant - I have 7 sibs, 2 sets of twins.

  I have been in contact with aunt, grandmother, grandfather, and have meet all half-sibs and Arlene's last husband. I've also met other relatives on my mother's side. We have no idea who my father was, as Arlene took that info to the grave with her. It's not on my birth certificate nor adoption papers.

  Hugs

  Brenda
• 

  Bryan

  As I was working on my research I came upon a great piece of work submitted to the United Nations Convention on Child Rights
  June 9, 1999. Written by by Nancy Faulkner, Ph.D.

  It is a long read, but as I followed through I saw myself all over it. It has really helped me to understand myself today after being kidnapped as a child and not finding my mother until I was 33 years old.

  I suggest anyone who is a victim of parental abduction to read it.

  http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Abuse/socum/articles/parental_abduction.htm

  Thanks,

  Bryan