Defending the WT despite doubts

by kj 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  kj

  I just wanted to ask some of you a question. I have been meeting with a JW woman for 4 months now. I've asked her several difficult questions, and shown her a few things about the WT and their lies- including the letter from the UN's website that confirmed they were an NGO for 9 years. She says that these things don't disturb her, but some of her mannerisms tell me otherwise. She has these "hot flashes" that only seem to come on when we start talking about difficult subjects. So my question is- did you ever defend the society even though you were starting to have doubts? I've read that JWs are more or less trained not to respond to anything negative they are told about the society. By the way, this woman has been coming to visit me alone for the past 3 months, after I asked her if we could talk one-on-one. I know she's not likely to slap herself in the forehead and say, "Oh no! I am in a cult," but I am hoping I've given her some food for thought. Any insight you all could give me would be helpful. Thanks.

  kj
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  Elsewhere

  JWs are programmed to take attacks on the organization as personal attacks. Looking back at my JW days I can recall how I would get VERY defensive when anyone said anything negative about the organization.

  This is the problem with being "one" with any group... anything the group does is reflected on you and vies versa. This is also why I am now reluctant to affiliate myself with any organizations.
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  Maverick

  The programming is very effective. If someone started to talk trash about my beloved Troof I would shut down and extract myself from the situation. The cracks come from within, rarely from outside. It would be better for you to pass on having this woman come to you. Tell her, if and when she wakes up, she is welcome to visit. Mav
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  lisavegas420

  A witness sister has been coming over for the past two years to have a bible study. She know nothing about my JW past. Anyway, about a month ago I handed her the UN letter and asked her some questions about it. She said it was all lies. I said I think they would have to have backup before they sent out a letter like that.

  She has not been back to my house since. She now comes when I'm not home and drops the mags off..

  Lisa
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  Bubbamar

  OMG Lisa - how can this crap STILL blow my mind??? A 2 year "bible" study wants to talk about the UN- JW goes running in fear. What if you really wanted to keep studying? What's that about? Now a bible study can become an apostate before they ever actually become a JW. I love it!!!

  BTTT - I don't know how old-timers can not have doubts. But thought blocking is a very effective to protect oneself from a painful truth. You can see alcoholics die everyday - convinced to the grave that they are NOT an alcoholic! But as soon as you start talking to them about their alcoholic behaviors - just watch their defenses go into action. Defenses are like anything else - practice makes perfect.
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  blondie

  I was quick to defend any "attacks." I agree with Maverick that I starting paying attention when I saw first hand the hypocrisy and lies in the organization and how high up it went on the food chain. It took ten years to finally make the break.

  Blondie
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  kj

  Thanks for all the replies so far. I have no expectations of seeing this woman leave the org, but I'm hoping somewhere down the line she'll remember some of our discussions. I know from the many stories I've read here that something personal has to happen before a JW starts to have doubts. I'm just planting seeds. I'm just wondering if she really could be more disturbed than she lets on. Thanks again.

  kj
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  karly

  When I was in the org and confronted with questions like that I would feel frustrated and think there was something wrong with me because I could not defend the religion adequately. She may feel like she hasn't been studying enough, or good enough with words. I don't think the average sincere witness realizes that there is something inherently wrong with the organization. They think it is either lies, which they are told to avoid, or that they aren't good enough or that there is something wrong with you--like it must be that God's spirit is not drawing you in.

  'God chooses the ones good at heart to be witnesses'--we were sorta fed that attitude. If you doubt/not accepting, then your heart is not right. That is why witnesses are so reluctant to examine their own doubts. They are told to avoid selfish- wicked- lack- of -faith -doubtful thoughts....or God will reject them and they will be out gnashing their teeth waiting to be destroyed at armeggedon.
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  Terry

  Every person has one key issue that means more to them than any other and around that core issue they build their belief system. If you lance that boil all the pus comes out. (Lovely word pictures! ewwwww)

  By carefully asking questions you will discover the key. Address your discussion to that key issue and an honest person will confront.

  It is different for each person.

  For my best friend, Johnny, who is still with the organization, his key issue is "where would he go if he left?" You see, he believes he has to BE SOMEWHERE.

  He thinks that "somewhere" is a religion. Until I can give him something equal to what is taken away he will not make the trade.

  Terry
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  qwerty

  Terry

  He thinks that "somewhere" is a religion....Until I can give him something equal to what is taken away he will not make the trade

  Good reasoning.

  Qwerty