JW Kids

patio34

Greetings and Felicitations to all,

Tonight I attended my first Al-Anon meeting--it's for families of alcoholics. I've been having trouble with my daughter and drugs.

But anyway, the meeting was in a Catholic Church area. Behind the meeting room was a group of young people practicing a song for a play or something. It was beautiful.

Then I thought 'JWs do nothing for their young children, sometimes they come out with a new book to sell, and proudly announce at the DC: look how much we love our young people!!! A book just for you!!' No activities, plays, sports, etc., etc.

But wait--was I being unfair? After all, the church grounds I was on had a high school. So, of course it was a high school activity. So, you can't blame the JWs for not having something, huh?

No!! The JW kids are not ALLOWED to take part in ANY school functions!

What a cold, sterile, formalistic, unloving, UNNATURAL, miserable way to raise kids. Sales meetings all the time, no fun, door-to-door, pioneer, Bethel slave.

And then these smart aleck JWs come on this board and have the hubris to say people here are just bitter, just walk away, and get a life! That's comparable to telling a victim of a robbery (or worse), just let us be, walk away, and get a life. Above all, don't criticize or be bitter.

What insane people they are. I know, I know, I used to be one of them, but I was never like the combative JW oddballs who come on to this board with that disgusting attitude.

Just venting . . .

Pat

tergiversator

I can remember a few all-witness kid parties, and even a congregation-wide talent show (I will never forget Eric Johnson performing Weird Al's "Like a Surgeon"...) back in the late 80's/early 90's, but it seems that such attempts at entertaining us kids were anomalous. Most of the fun things I remember where in spite of, not because of, the letter of witness law. (Such as when my mom actually let me spend a whole week with worldly kids at fifth grade camp.)

I wonder if they will ever realize that this is precisely why so many young people are leaving. The Society has long harped on kids who just want to go out and party and "live the wild life", but they're not the only ones who are calling it quits. By the time I got to high school, the kids were either half-out and indistinguishable from worldly kids, or else boring and frustrated nose-to-the-grindstone pioneer/ ms types. Having always been a true believer kid, I was primed to join the ranks of the latter... except I wised up in time and got out of there.

I guess it's a measure of how much life can suck as an average witness kid (and how much life the Society sucks out of us) that I went to a college renowned for its incredibly murderous workload, and all I could think my first term there was how wonderful it was to have so much free time...

Tina

Hi Patio,
I totally agree! It is insane. Jw kids most certainly lose a lot. The normal social activities were all 'demonized' and worldy. Too many were socially isolated. It's known how important play,group activity,are. Children learn many constructs from these activities.
It's truly sad. The social,psychological,emotional deficits are tragic. It's no wonder so many need special help when out and trying to deal with the 'real world' -instead of the fantasy we were raised in.
AL Anon-is great!! I know so many people that it's helped. And venting is quite OK,it's all about communicating(which you do very well btw) luv,Tina

Scorpion

I am thankfull I am not raising my kids to adhere to any religious organization or religious belief system. My two daughters 15&13 are A students and my son is getting there. He will be starting football for 11 year olds in July. He will be the first in our family to play actual football on a team since my father who was a center in high school, he died before he was 50 still active in the WT.

I gave up so much for the WT and wish I had that time back. At least my kids will have the freedom to make their dicisions and explore the avenues that I was warned would lead me outside the good graces of God (the organization). I am not talking about immoral behavior or drug use etc, I am talking about getting involved with friends and activities that build character and knowledge that will help them in their lives to be well adjusted.

Monica

Hi Patio,

What you said is so true. I also believe JW kids miss out a lot in their having to avoid "worldy" friendships. You'd think they'd make it up to the poor JW kids by having more social events as mentioned above to allow interactions and opportunities to make friends. I find it truly sad that most of the JW kids lives are spent avoiding friendships (daily at school) - it's just not right!

I missed out in a lot of things growing up as a JW, but maybe I'll get to live vicariously through my kids!

Sending warm wishes for a smooth road to recovery for your daughter.

Jigrigger

Hi Pat, I can relate. I remember reading something once about a person's character being basically decided before the age of ten. If that is true, - anybody PLEASE correct me if I'm wrong - then the components of our character that deal with social interaction would be found to be missing among children of JW and similar sects. That is what gets stolen from children when they are denied the most socially normal children's activities.
That's just my take on it.

Jigrigger

El Kabong

We were isolated from the "worldly" kids, but, "we had the truth". I remember an elder telling me if I wanted to have fun now in this old system of things or have fun in the new system? How much more fun would it be to play with Lions and Tigers, and Bears (oh my!). This is something my worldly classmates surely would not have the priviledge to do. So, I grew up as a young youth going out in service and giving talk no. 2 at the TMS.
At 16, there were a couple of parents in the congregation who took an interest in the teenagers in the congregation. Every Sunday night, we would either go rollerskating, bowling, or the movies. Of course, the elders had to go and put a stop to that. We should be spending more time in more theocratic pursuits.

UFB

patio34

Hi Elisabeth,
Your choice of such a grueling college and having all that free time is truly telling about being a jw. I remember a couple of events that were put on for fun. But then the WT came out with articles about wicked 'large gatherings.' Those old men who do nothing, see nothing, hear nothing running a dictatorship.

Tina,
When you think about it, it's comparable to a 'social child abuse.' Or better yet, a violation of children's labor laws. Also, re: Xmas and b'days, When JWs used to say you can give gifts all year long, it never seemed to actually happen. And the kids in school had to leave the parties. What a cult! (Thanks for the compliment!)

Scorpion,
That's a good point about the WT saying kids want to leave to live a wild life. They always have to put a negative spin on everyone who disagrees with them. I'm glad you aren't continuing the cycle of WT slavery.

Monica,
Thanks for the warm wishes re my daughter. I'm glad you survived your jw upbringing. JW kids DO have to spend all their time avoiding friendships. How unnatural! And then maybe all there were in their class was a jw kid they didn't get along with, or who was breaking all the rules anyway!

Jigrigger,
I agree with you that what gets stolen from them is normal character development. No wonder so many of JWs are struggling with depression, etc.

El Kabong,
Nice to meet you and thanks for the post. The irony is that your parents were really doing what they thought was right. The better the jw parents follow dictates, the worse off the child is.

One brother I knew quipped that someone had to pay rent on two homes because his family's size qualified as a "large gathering." What else do jws have to do? I'm so glad to be out, aren't you?

Pat

reagan_oconnor

Hiya Pat, it must be tough w/ your daughter; I applaud your efforts. You're in my thoughts.

We had quite a few congregation picnics/parties when I was growing up; several times we had "50s Parties" where everyone dressed up in 1950s-style clothing and danced to oldies. Poodle skirts, saddle shoes and pony tails for the girls; blue jeans, leather jackets and Pompadours for the boys.

When I was very little, someone had a costume party. Dad, still very newly associated at this time, came dressed as a "housewife" -- he put on Mom's nursing bra, stuffed it with balloons, put on makeup and curlers and a shower cap and slippers. It was hilarious -- I still have the pictures somewhere.

Not too long after that, the elders did a "local needs" part about "following worldly customs" and being "no part of the world."

It seemed like any time we had something fun, someone would get offended and crash the party. We used to have groups that would go roller-skating on Sunday nights, or to someone's house for movies and pizza, or play volleyball on Friday nights. Eventually, everything was squelched.

"I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul."

patio34

Hi Reagan,

That is so true. I remember a couple of costume parties, skating parties, etc. But then all was squelched, as you said.

It is even harder on families with only one parent. But, you know, it's hard on everyone forced to live such an unnatural life.

Have a great day!
Pat

JW Kids

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