Back from a JW wedding, observations about JW's

by Sirius Dogma 10 Replies latest jw friends

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  Sirius Dogma

  Heya all,

  I just got back from my younger sisters wedding and yes both she and her new hubbie are JW's. So I had to spend time with pretty much all JW's. All my immediate family, my sisters friends, His family, all his friends, and all the people who I grew up in the congregation. I have to say it was confusing as usual for me, the JW's are a people of such strange contradictions. They seem like such normal, happy well adjusted folks and for the most part, they are. It is just that they sound like total freaking loons as soon as they start talking JW speak. It was amazing to talk to them about science, they don't dispute what science is learning about the genome or the chemical processes that form human emotions such as love, it is just instead of seeing this as a process of evolution, they see it as a mark of jehover. I guess this is faith, something I no longer need or really even understand. Anyway, it was a bit enlightening. As heavy as their indoctrination is and as wacky as their belief system is and as nonsenical their interpretation is and obviously senile as their leaders, they seem to get along just fine and act like normal humans, as long as you don't invoke what I call the 'witness reflex'. Don't mention god, or give them any opening to start preaching. If they try to push the conversation that way, simply change the topic or get up find an excuse to go to another room. It worked well for me. They seem so heavily indoctrinated and pushed by guilt and the need to preach, when the opportunity presents itself, they have no choice but to spout the WTS mantras that have been pounded into their brains. As long the witness reflex remains unprovoked, they were completley fun to be around.

  It was funny though, they had an elder from the farm who was the MC. At the beginning of the reception he got up made a little speach saying 'this is christian wedding, please use moderation in everything, espcially considering the open bar.' Now I was not drinking tea, actually I was swaying quite a bit and it was inside with no wind, but this guy was at the bar more than anyone! Aftwerwords he came over the house and most of us thought he was hammered, his eyes were half open and bright red. Actually most of the witnesses I was around the whole week where hammered, I had a really great time with them. Maybe because I am still technically a JW they were more comfortable, maybe because it was a celebration or maybe because I took the beliefs more seriously when I was a JW and now can let loose. Maybe all of the above, but we had a really good time. A few say they will come out and visit and I got a few invites to come visit them. I am not sure if this is a new type of witness I was seeing, they seemed much more moderate and accepting. Overall, things seemed much less rigid, they still talked like baptists, but acted like protestants. Some may call this hypocrisy, but I was happy to see it.

  Anyway, I have rambled enough for now, I will perhaps more from the wedding later.

  SD
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  kls

  Gawd , that sounds like real fun NOT.
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  jaredg

  THEY HAD AN OPEN BAR!?!?!?! that is unheard of here in NC. looks like you found some cool JWs. but the fact remains that they are blind sheep!
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  Purza

  Glad to hear you survived SD. How was the wedding talk? Nauseating?

  I remember a wedding I went to more than 20 years ago that had an open bar. A prominent elder's daughter (a minor) had to be carried out because she inbibed too much alcohol. I know people who still talk about that "incident". Funny thing is -- I can't recall who even got married that day, but I can still see that girl being carried out. LMAO

  Purza
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  rocketman

  Very Interesting observations -

  As heavy as their indoctrination is and as wacky as their belief system is and as nonsenical their interpretation is and obviously senile as their leaders, they seem to get along just fine and act like normal humans, as long as you don't invoke what I call the 'witness reflex'.

  They seem so heavily indoctrinated and pushed by guilt and the need to preach, when the opportunity presents itself, they have no choice but to spout the WTS mantras that have been pounded into their brains. As long the witness reflex remains unprovoked, they were completley fun to be around.
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  Sirius Dogma

  Ok more stories from New York.

  It is 2 nights before the wedding, so my sister, her fiance, groomsmen and myself go down to the a local bar to continue the drinking away from parents since we are smashed anyway. We walk in and it is kinda full, while looking around for a place to sit I feel a large hand on my shoulder and I turn around.

  A familiar face says to me, - "Excuse me are you Paully?", I nod and smile, "Yes John! nice to see you!" he stops me to say "I don't know if you still are, but I should be fair and warn you that I am disfellowshipped." I smile wider and say "Congratulations!", he puts his head down a bit and says, "I don't know about that." I go on to tell him I am truly glad to hear he is out of the sick and twisted organization and that it is really a cult. About this time my sister and company walk over to tell me they will be waiting outside in the car, I say ok and I will meet up with them in a bit.

  He starts talking about my father, whom he grew up with and was close too, it seems some issues happened shortly before he was DF'd between himself and my father and he was upset because he would never get a chance to talk to my father about it. He was nearly in tears. I tried to make him feel alright and told him I would relay what he said to my dad. He then introduced me to his son sitting next to him. The last time I saw his son he was maybe 8, now he was 18 and it is really amazing to see someone jump those formative 10 years in one seeming second. His son was also DF'd now too and was happy to talk to me as well.

  It has been about 20 minutes of chatting now and I nearly forget my sister, fiance and groomsmen are waiting outside in the car. And they can't leave without me since I was the lease smashed and driving. I say my goodbyes with a few handshakes and hugs and leave smiling. I return to my sister and enthusisticaly say "Do you know who that was?!", and she gives me that look of dead guilt and says "Yes Paul!" I give a wide grin in return.

  Aftwerwords I see my father and tell him who I saw. I tell him his friend thinks well of him, misses him, is sorry he cannot talk to him and wants him to know a few things. My father looks a bit depressed and sits down with a gallon of wine. I can only hope my father will lose his cultic persona and do what is right. Talk to his lifelong friend.
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  Sirius Dogma

  Glad to hear you survived SD. How was the wedding talk? Nauseating?

  OMG. I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs "What a load of bullshit!" through most of the talk. It was soooo laced with indoctrination how the man was a piece of rope, and the women was a peice of rope and twined together they made a stronger rope, but when jehover was a steel cord twined within as well... i almost vomited. It was jehover this and jehover that and I wondered who was getting married. Is jehover getting married today, why is he so much in this wedding? The witnesses seem unaware of the blatant indoctrination they are surrounded by, but as an outsidere I was appauled. I mean witness is such a bad term for them, they are so unaware they wouldn't even notice let alone witness armageddom unless someone told them it happened, oh wait, it did happen in 1914, kinda, but then......

  I digress, fortunately my sister and her new husband (who is a good guy btw) were very into each other despite the looney sounding cermony. I should have counted how many times they said jehovah, I can guarentee it was said more then the groom and brides names combined and doubled.

  One thing I had the pleasure to do or not do was acknowledge their constant praying and give any credit to their nonsensical rantings. Everytime someone prayed, everyone as you know bowed their heads and closed their eyes. Not me, I keep my head up the entire time and looked around or whatever. I figured to me now, it was the equivalent of how they view saluting the flag. I would not disrepect it by try to talk to someone, just as they would not sing kindom songs during the national anthem, but I would simply observe it and not participate in it one bit. It felt good to look on the whole proceding with new eyes, at meals and at the wedding. Once or twice I did close my eyes, but only because I got bored with the long-windedness of the prayer and did some meditation. Overall, it was a great feeling to not even feel compeled to bow my head for such rubbish.
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  kls

  Sirus, you sound like you really had a good time . How did the jws react to you? could they tell you were a little different then them?
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  Sirius Dogma

  How did the jws react to you?

  Mostly they reacted like normal people. They ones I hadn't seen in year acted like they hadn't seen me in a year. The ones that hadn't seen me in a decade acted like they hadn't seen me in a decade.

  could they tell you were a little different then them?

  I don't know if they could tell or not or simply chose to ignore it. Not everyone closes their eyes the entire time while praying and I saw some people notice I did not bow my head or close my eyes. The way I changed the subject all the time, the way I left the room as soon as things turned 'theocratic' and the way I looked at them like an adult looks at a child talking about santa claus when they spoke about the wonders of jehover.

  I didn't feel the need or urge to confront them about their nonsense belief system, so we could all be civil to each other. I respect their right to live in a fantasy world and they seemed to respect my right to (what must seem like to them) live a life destined for non-eternal life or whatever they think. I could have easily stood on a soap box and spouted the evils of the organization, but they don't want to hear it, much like I don't want to hear their preachy drivel. We stuck a balance and everyone had a good time. I hope all interactions with family and witnesses go this way in the future.
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  frankiespeakin

  Hey Paul, I'm glad to hear you had a good time. While I'm reading your post I get so into how your feeling,, I can sense the freedom you feel. It sound so good.

  It is refreshing to see you reason the way you do about your dad, your sister, and brother inlaw. From what you said it seems they are breaking from the WT authority,,in some ways very big. I hope your dad responds well to what you relayed to him about his old friend,, that could be a big turning point. You were in top form I must say,, I think your trip was very productive.