Strategic answers to that age old question:
"No, not to Stevie Wonder."
"Does this tie make me look stupid?"
"No hablo ingles."
"Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things kinda balance out."
"If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."
"Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."
"Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."
"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."
"No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."
"Whoa! A talking couch!"