An Atheist

by Gerard 5 Replies latest social humour

• 

  Gerard

  An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.
  What majestic trees!
  What powerful rivers!
  What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
  As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes
  behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards
  him.
  He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and
  saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder
  again, and the bear was even closer.
  He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but
  saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and
  raising his right paw to strike him.
  At that instant the Atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..."
  Time stopped.
  The bear froze.
  
  The forest was silent.
  As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky:
  "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't
  exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.
  Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
  Am I to count you as a believer?"
  The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of
  me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could
  you make the BEAR a Christian?"
  
  "Very well," said the voice.
  The light went out.
  The sounds of the forest resumed.
  And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and
  bowed his head and spoke:
  "Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty
  through Christ our Lord, Amen."
• 

  Elsewhere

  Ah yes... nothing like a fairy tale to reinforce a fairy tale.
• 

  Euphemism

  LOL I'm an atheist, but I found it pretty funny.
• 

  AlanF

  A Christian was taking a walk through the woods.
  What majestic trees!
  What powerful rivers!
  What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
  As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes
  behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards
  him.
  He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and
  saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder
  again, and the bear was even closer.
  He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but
  saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and
  raising his right paw to strike him.
  At that instant the Christian cried out: "Oh God! Why did you make bears?"
  The bear had a fine lunch.
  

  AlanF
• 

  Gopher

  A Jehovah's Witness was taking a walk through the woods.
  What majestic trees!
  What powerful rivers!
  What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
  As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes
  behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards
  him.
  He dropped his service case and ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder
  again, and the bear was even closer.
  He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but
  saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and
  raising his right paw to strike him.
  At that instant the Witness cried out: "Jehovah help me!..."
  Time stopped.
  The bear froze.

  The Witness turned back to get his service case and ran to the nearest house, where he told the householder what had happened.

  The householder, impressed by the salvation of Jehovah, came into "the truth", and this whole story got told over and over in many assembly parts and was printed in the "Yearbook of Jehovah's Witnesses".
• 

  heathen

  LOL . How about this .

  A poster from jwd was taking a walk through the woods

  What majestic trees!
  What powerful rivers!
  What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
  As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes
  behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards
  him.
  He dropped his service case and ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder
  again, and the bear was even closer.
  He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but
  saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and
  raising his right paw to strike him.
  At that instant he says OH God please help me !!!!
  Time stopped.
  The bear froze

  The bear offers the latest WT and awake magazines

  The poster says , the hell with that go ahead and eat me .