How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch.
You don't - there is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.