A Million Questions

by ConcernedMom 26 Replies latest social family

  • Gerard
    Gerard

    Have her read some of these articles related to JWs:

    Psychological and Recovery Issues

  • Euphemism
    Euphemism

    ConcernedMom... unlike some of the other posters here, I don't think there's anything "funny" or "weird" about the situation. I've seen similar cases myself. I imagine that when your daughter's bf first stopped going to meetings, it probably caused quite a bit of controversy in the family; but by this point, they've become accepting of it.

    And like Eddie said, they don't expect him to date a Witness; in fact, he's not allowed to, because he's not baptized.

    As long as your daughter is not likely to be recruited by the Witnesses, I really don't think there's anything to worry about. She just needs to be aware, of course, that there's a chance of her bf returning to the way he was brought up.

  • bestofme123
    bestofme123

    i am 17 and dating a JW. we have been dating for about 7 months and we both love eachother. i always knew he was a JW but that he hadnt practiced it in a few years. justa couple days ago he said that he wanted to begin practicing it again to be pure and have a stable life. since we are both "not mature" he doesnt know if he can still date me. i have never been pressured into his religion and he keeps it to himself. what i am looking for are answers about the dating issue or ways to tell him that he can have me and his religion together. any response would be great. thanks. bestofme123

  • hopeful?
    hopeful?

    I could really use some help and advice right now.

    2 years ago I started dating a great guy who was raised as a JW. He told me he hadn't been to a meeting in over 7 years, and considered himself "regligiously neutral". I'm a Christian, and hoped that I could show him the way. We started getting really serious, and he came with me to an Alpha course, which didn't really help at all. I bought books for him to read and we even met with my pastor to discuss issues. Things were going really well, and he was getting really close to accepting Christ and then all of a sudden,it seemed like the more we explored issues, the more his JW upbringing started coming out. Even when we gave him reasons and explanations, he almost wouldn't acknowledge them. (I should mention that both of his parents are devout JWs, but only about half of his very large extended family)

    LAst week he said that he wished I could just see things his way and become a JW. IT broke my heart and I broke up with him.

    I really don't understand how this happened. We've been e-mailing and he just seems totally confused. He said he'd be willing to read any information I send him, but that he wants me to read the information that he has, and that he's thinking of going to a meeting to see if he feels peace and God's presence.

    Please please help me! We both love each other.

  • metaspy
    metaspy

    Hopeful, I would start a new thread and describe your situation again. Not too many people are going to go looking in a 2.5 year old thread.

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    Doesn't sound like a 'strong' JW family. You might want to take up the parents on that dinner invitation and ask them how dedicated they are to the religion. Ask them their take on the blood teaching, tell them of your concerns and even your daughters. I don't know how they will respond, but no matter what they actually say. . .your gut will give you an idea of their mindset and attitude towards your inactively catholic daughter and family.

    My personal feelings of what you said about this boy is that if he isn't going to the convention-you might want to find out what he actually DOES do when he cuts out. He may be a nice kid, but he isn't even trying to fool his parents and they don't care. . .thats saying something about them and him. He isn't baptised, and maybe his parents view this as a protection-because he can be disfellowshipped if baptised, but if he is just a normal teenager, he won't get too much grief if he stays out of the radar, and may end up joining later-or, they can maintain a normal relationship with him even if he rejects the religion (actually ALL smart parents should discourage baptism for their children as long as humanly possible.) I think you will get a much better feel for the family if you meet them. The goatee wouldn't worry me any-it is just about fashion, and that makes me like the kid better already-he isn't trying to be something he isn't for the religion. Yet anyway.

    We need to remember that almost all of us came out of the religion, and all of us had doubts at some time. How grateful would any of us been for parents that allowed us to actually BE normal kids? He sounds normal enough. As a JW he sounds totally abnormal. But since we are discussing JWs, thats a good thing usually.

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    Whoa! I just realized your little girl is only 15 1/2. Sorry I didn't catch that the first time around. I would suggest just as a mom that you only allow 'dating' in the context of family/social events that have plenty of adults around. She is kind of young to be in any kind of intense 'relationship' situation, and he has less supervision than some kids his age (if he is cutting out of conventions already and missing meetings) Forget the JW thing (which is bad enough if he goes more JW-y), the age issue alone makes me nervous.

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