A new type of shunning?

by Mark 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mark

  A baptized brother in a local congregation stopped attending meetings months ago. He hasn't been disfellowshipped, nor has he taken any steps to disassociate himself from the congregation. He hasn't even been marked or privately reproved - God, I hate this type of cultish lingo, he just stopped attending meetings. Yet, he is being actively shunned by his witness relatives and old peers as a matter of congregational policy.

  His sin? Being about to marry a non-witness girl he met after he stopped attending meetings. Now, as we all know, it is not uncommon for individual witnesses, in an effort to give an appearance of superior spirituality, to shun fading relatives. But this type of situation is different, as I said, because the shunning is being actively encouraged from his congregation. The elders are issuing threats to those involved so that no witness relative of his goes to the wedding reception. A greeting, maybe, but no association whatsoever. The guy is not having a religious ceremony, so this wouldn't be an issue here.

  Technically speaking, this guy is still a witness. So is this a case of witnesses shunning other witnesses? I hear this sort of situation is happening more and more, and yet there is no public statement from the WT to that effect, nor have instructions been given to the elders in private. As more witnesses quietly leave their mother organization and avoid being shunned by keeping a low profile, we will see more instances of this type of shunning. The WT wants to send a message, loud and clear, that anybody who leaves, quietly fading or not, will have to face the consequences. And I guess the are not leaving that part on Jehovah's hands! Oh, the irony...

  Mark
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  blondie

  Well, Mark, I was inactive when I married my non-JW hubbie. Some of my family personally marked me and shunned me and my wedding. Other JW relatives attended and did not shun me. This is an indvidual thing. But elders and elder bodies make their own rules and impose them on their congregations. There was a battle between the family members involving 3 congregations and 3 elder bodies but in the end, it was recognized that each JW had to make their own decision and the others had to back off.

  Sorry, for the hassle you are getting. I understand.

  Blondie
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  confusedjw

  That is too bad. The offical website www.jw-media.org says this: (perhaps someone should show the local cong. what "mother" says.)
  

  Do you shun former members?

  Those who become inactive in the congregation, perhaps even drifting away from association with fellow believers, are not shunned. In fact, special effort is made to reach out to them and rekindle their spiritual interest. If, however, someone unrepentantly practices serious sins, such as drunkeness, stealing or adultery, he will be disfellowshipped and such an individual is avoided by former fellow-worshipers. Every effort is made to help wrongdoers. But if they are unrepentant, the congregation needs to be protected from their influence. The Bible clearly states: 'Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.' (1 Corinthians 5:13) Those who formally say they do not want to be part of the organization any more are also avoided. What of a man who is disfellowshipped but whose wife and children are still Jehovah's Witnesses? The spiritual ties he had with his family change, but blood ties remain. The marriage relationship and normal family affections and dealings can continue. As for disfellowshipped relatives not living in the same household, Jehovah's Witnesses apply the Bible's counsel: "Quit mixing with them." (1 Corinthians 5:11) Disfellowshipped individuals may continue to attend religious services and, if they wish, they may receive spiritual counsel from the elders with a view to their being restored. They are always welcome to return to the faith if they reject the improper course of conduct for which they were disfellowshipped.
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  Sassy

  Hey Mark,

  this is not uncommon.. whenever you marry a non JW (even if it is someone who has been raised a JW) they shun the marriage because it is disobeying the marry only in the lord rule. I know of brothers who were told they would lose positions in the congregation if they attended the wedding of one who married a "worldly" person....
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  FlyingHighNow

  I know that my sister and brother have chosen to shun me. I am not dfd and I am not da'd.

  "Paranoia strikes deep. Into your life it will creep...it's starts when you're always afraid. Step out of line, the man comes, and take you away. It's time we stop children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down." Buffalo Springfield.

  Flyin'
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  flower

  This kind of shunning isnt new at least in my experience. In our congregation one could easily be shunned even if they are witnesses.

  Once you stop attending meetings you are going to start getting shunned because you are bad associations. Spiritually weak ones have always been shunned for the most part in my experience just not as strongly as the df'd ones. They will get a pleasant, albeit fake, 'hello we miss you at the hall', in a grocery store whereas a df'd person will get ignored completely.
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  Mary

  So is this a case of witnesses shunning other witnesses? I hear this sort of situation is happening more and more, and yet there is no public statement from the WT to that effect, nor have instructions been given to the elders in private. As more witnesses quietly leave their mother organization and avoid being shunned by keeping a low profile, we will see more instances of this type of shunning.

  Hell, this is nothing new in my neck of the woods. In fact, it's always been like this. Shit, you can still be going to the Hall sometimes, and the majority of the people there won't talk to you, because you're "spiritually weak."

  Yes, 'all will know that you are not my disciples, because you have no love amongst yourselves.'
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  iiz2cool

  It doesn't surprise me. In my last congregation there was a teenage male who started to miss meetings intermittently because his schoolwork was taking a lot of time. He's planning to attend university and would like to become a teacher. People in the hall began having less and less to do with him, so he got discouraged and attended meetings even less, maybe once a month. Then people began to shun him, even turning and walking away without a word if he said hello to them in public. He doesn't go to meetings any more because of the shunning.

  He was never even baptized.

  Walter
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  Doubtfully Yours

  Oh yes. That's called 'marking' a person, and it's a practice done at the private judgement of the individual Witnesses.

  Usually a talk will be given, most likely in the 'local needs' and a person or certain persons will be insinuated as being worth of marking because of their actions.

  After that talk and insinuations, the person(s) are as good as being disfellowshipped. No more invitations to gatherings, no more close association with other Witnesses, etc.

  A truly loving crowd, indeed!

  DY
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  Undaunted Danny

  Twisted F**Ks Does anybody know the "DF wave".It's a hand gesture with a flat palm pointed out.It's the same as the 'boom over' hand signal that we used on the jobsite for flagging the construction cranes? It's sota the J-ho way of given U the "finger."

  Anybody know what I am talken 'bout?Or is it just an east coast thing?

  Swing the boom. Outstretched arm with index finger pointing in the desired direction.