So why are they so sure I'm NOT happy? (Long again)

by Odrade 16 Replies latest members private

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  Odrade

  Gretchen, why would I have an easy time keeping friends? Once I quit pioneering it was all downhill from there. I was no longer living with my JW big-shot parents, I wasn't a pioneer, I was a sister, and I didn't have any leverage on anyone to keep me in the loop... popularity has its rules you know.

  Doc, too much time on my hands, too much time. Can't wait for school to resume. One more week...

  It is sad, how can a parent be happy when they "know" their child is "miserable?" That is what they have convinced themselves of, so they are always sad for me. They haven't had joy in me or my life for many, many years. It happened long before I rejected their religion. What a tragedy that the WTS teachings strip them of being able to enjoy their children's choices and happinesses.
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  exjdub

  Odrade,

  I What a great read. It must have been very uncomfortable leaving the Org at first with such a strong dub background and pedigree. It is fascinating to learn details about the people on this board and what they have left behind to pursue happiness. It was sure interesting to learn about you. Thanks for sharing.

  exjdub
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  Odrade

  The hardest part of leaving it all was not the actual exit, it was all the migraines I had toward the end trying to be a good little JW, attending meetings and trying to go in field service. Closing my ears to the bragging around me if someone bothered to even speak with me... "I took Odrade out in service this morning, wasn't that nice and special of me? She's so weak you know..."

  Or the lovely brothers who prefaced every conversations with "so where have you been..." even if we had made more meeting than they had that month. Once we made the break, life all of a sudden became so much easier. Even though it's hard to know my family is so worried, facing their misguided concern is a hundred times easier than having a migraine 3-4 days a week, or warding off the so-called "encouragers" at the KH.

  And yeah, the bitterness creeps up sometimes, but I just grab my racquet and go down to the YMCA, and play a little racquetball. Fixes me right up. LOL!

  Odrade
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  notperfectyet

  Good for you Odrade!

  Went I stopped attending my panic attacks went away, after having theem since I was 14.

  All that money spent on doctors wasted, but I did appreciate the xanax making the meetings kinda float by.

  I took one to go to the memorial with my son, the bethelite speaker told me afterwards he enjoyed the smile I had throughout his talk, LOL, if he only knew.
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  Sabine

  Odrade,

  Great post! I have to say "they" were never happy for me even when I was doing all the "right" things...I never fit in any cliques. But now when they see me, and see how undeniably happy I am, they just try to avoid me. Who want's to hear yet again about my latest trip to Hawaii, or how close I am to graduating, or how great I look. Living well is the best revenge I say!

  Say hi to your other half for me!

  Jane
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  Odrade

  Well, I sure won't deny there are plenty of people who would delight in seeing me fall flat on my ass. I would hope though, that my parents and little brother would like to see me happy, even if they don't allow themselves to believe it's possible...

  Hope to see you again soon Jane. We had a great time with you and your family...

  Odrade
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  Special K

  Holy come home in the mornin ! Odrade

  It sounds like your family was once kind of like the Leave it to Beaver Cleever family as far as involvement in the J.W. organization.

  You are right you know. You are right dead on. I feel that too, that our J.W. parents and J.w. Family members couldn't think that we could be happy after all we are just worldly drones for Satan now.

  For you, I think they really can't even conceive the idea that you could be happy in your life and your pursuits.. it's just to foreign of a thought for them. The programming is thick.

  Tell you what, Odrade. You have said on a couple of threads now that you are happy with where and what you are doing right now and...I believe you. If you tell me tomorrow that your a bit unhappy and that you wish to go in this direction over here and that would make you happier.. then I believe you again and I'd say. "well go that way then and here's your hug." J.W.'s just don't work that way and that is just dumb.

  Write your own pages to your own story and make all the edits and changes you wish. You alone have become the writer now.

  It's still annoying though not to be validated by our parents and sibblings. I know.

  sincerely

  Special K