Wedding getting closer! Fiance worried.

by Nosferatu 10 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Nosferatu

  Well, the wedding's only 3 weeks (and 1 day) away! When I came home last night, she started telling me that she was worried that my dad was going to ruin it. She had visited my mother, and my mother was telling her that my dad's cutting back on the groceries, and he's incredibly miserable. So, we sat down and began figuring out what we could do, should my father get out of hand at the wedding. We're going to inform all our guy friends and relatives to keep an eye out for things.

  For those of you who don't know, my father is pissed off that I'm getting married. He's pissed off I moved out, and he has nobody to control (and doesn't have rent money coming in - he's a gambler). He offered me $5000 to put off the wedding for a year. My mother's worried that he's going to ruin the wedding cake that she's making.

  I really didn't want to invite him, but knowing him, he'll rub that in my face for the rest of his life. Now, if he either causes trouble, or doesn't show up, he won't have anything to rub in my face.

  So, anyway, we're preparing for the worst. It's sad that I can expect him to cause trouble.

  One thing I told her is that my dad can try and ruin our wedding, but he can't ruin our future.
• 

  Stefanie

  Good Nos, sounds like you have it under control. I hope everything ends up running smoothly.

  Congrats on your upcoming wedding.
• 

  desib77

  I'm sorry to hear that you have this to worry about. Weddings are difficult enough to plan without adding extra stress.

  Best wishes to you both!

  Desi
• 

  avishai

  (((((nos)))))). If I could come up and play security detail, I would. Controlling people like that suck, I've had to deal w/ it myself. Congrats, buddy!

  Hey, where's the Honemoon?
• 

  Scully

  Well, you sure don't want him ruining the wedding cake that your mom is making.

  Is there any way that you can arrange for her to prepare it at your place? Seriously, even if he doesn't smash it to smithereens, he sounds deranged enough that he'd put something noxious in it to make the guests (and you and your fiancée) ill on your wedding night. Don't take any chances!

  Even if you have to have a second cake made to serve to guests and one for show, you'll all feel a lot better if you take control of the situation and get your mom doing her thing in your place where your dad cannot interfere at all.

  Good idea to increase security at the wedding. If you're having a bar, maybe slip your dad's pic to the bar-staff and tell them that under no circumstances is he to be served alcohol.

  Love, Scully
• 

  Sassy

  ahhh Nos.. I am sorry.. What is it with Weddings and bringing out the worst!

  Here is hoping that your worries are not reality..

  sorry you have this stress
• 

  Nosferatu

  Hey, where's the Honemoon?

  We're heading to Apple River for some tubing, then to Minneapolis. I've already started a thread about having an Apostofest while we're down there: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/19/71756/1.ashx

  Is there any way that you can arrange for her to prepare it at your place?

  This will prove to be difficult. My mother insisted on keeping all the out-of-town family in her little house. My mother's mentally-handicapped sister is coming in, and sorta needs to be looked after. Also, me and my fiance don't have a decent place in the apartment to store the cake. The good thing is my parents' house is going to be filled with six extra people, so I doubt my dad will be able to get away with much.

  If you're having a bar, maybe slip your dad's pic to the bar-staff and tell them that under no circumstances is he to be served alcohol.

  This is an excellent idea, Scully! Thank you! My dad used to have a drinking problem, and recently, he has been having a "taste" of it. There was one guy who brings bottles of wine over to my parents' place, and my jaw dropped when my dad filled a tall glass full, and drank it like water.

  Again, thank you for the suggestion!

  sorry you have this stress

  I think it's my fiance who is more stressed out by it. I've dealt with big problems calmly and efficiently, therefore I have no problem dealing with it if it comes up. Still, it was good for me and my fiance to talk about it.
• 

  Nosferatu

  Well, here's a bit of an update. I got in touch with my mother regarding my father drinking at the wedding, and asked for a picture of him to give to the bartender. Surprisingly, my mother didn't think it was a good idea. She believes in giving him a "fair chance".

  She asked me, "What are you going to tell him when he finds out he can't drink? It's going to make matters worse than they already are!" Personally, the aftermath doesn't bother me. I really could care less what the man thinks of me. He's already done his damage as far as our relationship is concerned. I reminded my mother of when my father got printouts of my bank account transactions after I moved out. He's broken his trust with me a long time ago.

  My mother said that she'll handle the situation, and if she smells alcohol on him, she'll tell the bartender not to give him any more alcohol. The thing is, my father will be hanging out at the VLTs, which is right by the bar, and outside the reception room, so it would be difficult to keep an eye on him. Who knows how much he could drink by the time my mother checks up on him. Personally, I don't need his anger amplified by alcohol.

  I still have yet to run this by my fiance.
• 

  Odrade

  It's actually a very good idea (alerting the Bartenders that is.) You don't need a picture, just ask one of your buddies who will be keeping an eye on your dad to point him out to the bartenders (all of them personally) then hang out at the bar until he discovers he won't be served. If he's going to make trouble over that one, he'd most likely do it right then and there at the bar. Voila! your perfect excuse to have him escorted out before the party even gets started. Course if you do escort him out, your friends will have to do turns at guard duty at the door, cause he most surely will try to get back in.

  Your poor mother, I know you've had your share of problems with her, but you know she's going to be all torn between protecting this P.O.S. and wanting to be all at your wedding. Good luck working it out. ((((Nos and lady))))

  Odrade
• 

  talesin

  Tell mom you will only have wedding. He can get a 'fair chance' at another time. Your fiancee having to worry about his shenanigans on your wedding day,,, uggh. That's just wrong. Let your friends watch him, and have a good time!

  I hope it goes well, Nos.