Just a little something my brother forwarded to me...
REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE - CONVENTION SCHEDULE NY
6:00 PM Opening prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell 6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance 6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (except 2nd Amendment) 6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing 6:46 PM Seminar #1: "Iraq Strategies-Voodoo/DooDoo WMD" 7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong 7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries 7:40 PM EPA Address #1: "Mercury- It's what's for dinner!" 8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next 8:10 PM Call EMT's to revive Rush Limbaugh 8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children!!" 8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN ONLY) 8:50 PM Seminar #2: "Corporations: The Government of the Future" 9:00 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong 9:10 PM EPA Address #2: "Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires" 9:30 PM Break for secret meetings 10:00 PM Second prayer led by Bill Graham 10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: "Doublespeak Made Easy" 10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho 10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare 10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt 10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads short list of black republicans 10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong 10:50 PM Seminar #3: "Education: A Drain on our Nation's Economy" 11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata 11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: "Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult" 11:30 PM Call EMT's to revive Rush Limbaugh again 11:35 PM Blame Clinton 11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies 11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself 12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord