I'm so sad...

Country Girl

I don't think I'll be coming to the aposta-chili-fest. My son is facing so many felonies in Texas, and it makes me so darned so sad and embarrassed. I've been accused of being a bad Mother. maybe I was... I don't know.

All I know is that I love my son very much. He has to pay for what he did, but he really is a good person. He called me Friday night and he said that he's been clean from drugs, alcohol, and bad behavior for five weeks. I don't trust him... but who am I? He said that he isn't hanging out with the same people. i'd like to beleive that he is dong that

All I know is that I am too embarassed to show my face at this next May apostofest. I can't show my face.. I will be too embarassed ..

CG

flower

(((((CG)))))

life isnt easy and parenting is even harder than that. personally as a parent, i dont see a person who does something wrong as being 'necessarily' a bad person nor do i see it as a necessary reflection on how well or poorly they were raised. gone are the days of jumping to judgement about people.

sounds to me like you could use the weekend to at least get away from that reality for a couple of days...

dustyb

i'm sorry cg...i know how it is. my daddy's been in trouble before and i hated to show my face around.

Cassiline

CG

He made his own choices in life. You guided him as far as you could. Do not lay blame at your feet for others choices.

Hugs to you.

Cassi

frankiespeakin

CG,,

If you really think about it,,you should not let this feeling of embarasment,,eat you up inside.

I don't think people at an apostofest are going to be judgemental,,for many are way past that type of behavior. O there may be a few that could be,,but most of the people on this board are very good people,,and you should think of them as nonjudgemental kind good people.

arrowstar

He made his choices and he has to live with the results of those choices. Don't for one minute think that you are to blame for his choices. And embarassed? Good lord, woman! Running down the middle of Elm street buck-nekkid...now THAT can be mildly embarassing if it's posted in the mornin' paper....but this....? I don't think so.

You come on up here to Dallas. You need the time.

Lisa

DevonMcBride

Hi CG,

I know some excellent parents who have had problems with their kids. You can only do your best showing them right from wrong, and then it's up to them to put to use what you taught. Don't blame yourself.

DevonMcBride

(I miss seeing your posts on chat2much)

Corvin

((((Country Girl))))

As parents, we all make mistakes. We will all have regrets. The thing is, from the moment they are grown and leave home, they begin making their own decisions and therefore must accept full responsibility for their actions. I know you love your son, and everything that has happened to him since leaving home is a result of his own decisions, not yours, and you simply are not responsible for his success or failure. It seems as though we, as parents, have a tendency to take personally whatever our children become as adults, and it does tend to seem like a reflection of our parenting skills. If they are happy, educated and productive we have a tendency to want to take credit for a job well done and believe that we contributed to the quality of life our children now experience. Conversely, we feel like a total failure when our children make some really dumb choices.

I don't know you or anyone who will be attending the Apostafest you speak of, but I am willing to wager my next paycheck that you will be welcomed with open arms. Give it a try.

Best Regards,

Corvin

blondie

CG, let's be frank here. If you had that kind of control over your son, you would have made him not commit felonies.

He's 18, an adult. He knew the difference between right and wrong. He "chose" to commit the crime. He "chose" his friends. He "chose" to use and abuse drugs/alcohol.

Five weeks is not long enough for him to have demonstrated that he has learned something from all this, especially if he was in a controlled environment, like lockdown rehab where his associations were restricted and his access to drugs and alcohol was controlled by someone else.

He's young and if this is the first time he has been involved in such crimes, and they determine he was a follower not the organizer, he may be put on probation. But then he will have to show for a much longer period of time that he really has changed, perhaps even getting counseling.

So don't hide in shame.

Blondie

Surreptitious

All I know is that I am too embarassed to show my face at this next May apostofest. I can't show my face.. I will be too embarassed ..

CG, I was just about to post something very similar to what Corvin said. The very thing you should do is attend this function. I think you'll be happy you did...

Syrup

I'm so sad...

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