A Culture Infatuated With Misery

by metatron 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  metatron

  Recently, an article appeared in Broadcasting and Cable magazine concerning the show "Who wants

  To Be A Millionaire?". Apparently, the show isn't having as much success in Russia because "People over

  there can't stand to see anyone win". The audience lies, the phone-in friends lie - all because they love to foil

  anyone else's chance at fame and fortune (4-26-04 page 8)

  Remind you of anybody?

  While perhaps more discreet, this sort of jealousy, this Schadenfreude ( we've talked about that before!) is deeply

  embedded in the Witness subculture. I was absolutely horrified by direct comments made by MANY Witnesses

  finding delight in the failure of others. They find joy whenever your kid is df'd - just like theirs - or when you screw up

  at work or in the congregation. After years of trying, sweating, and praying as an elder of Jehovah's Witnesses,

  I was confronted - face to face - with snarling comments about how wonderful my family troubles were, since I

  "tried to be so perfect". If I mispronounced a word, another brother told me how happy he was that I screwed up.

  ( I'm not making this stuff up!). A brother elder -- took the greatest

  delight and zeal in df'ing my kid - even though there was every reason to simply let it slide because of being long inactive.

  And there's much more! God help you if you're involved in a Witness divorce! No-holds-barred and no lie is too outrageous!

  These people acted the part of being my friends - for most of twenty years. Unfortunately, I didn't notice it was

  merely a performance.

  I asked an older sister - and an elder elsewhere, "What went wrong?". I got the same answer - envy.

  If you're successful, they'll hate you. Did I have to fail to inspire them?

  I'm glad it's all past me now. What the h*ll was I thinking? Let them - and the Russians - wallow

  in their love of screwing each other over. Do any of you ever wonder why Witnesses seem to constantly

  get into trouble doing business with each other? It's no wonder to me!

  metatron
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  Fleur

  ooooooo this is good.

  unfortunately, i found that i ended up in circles of 'friends' that were the same way outside the org, force of habit. now i can recognize, and weed out, anyone who can't celebrate my successes with me, as i celebrate theirs with them.

  great post.

  fleur
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  Odrade

  closed society. Backstabbing, gossip and glee at another's misfortune are all the "fun" they can have. Pretty sick really. Have you ever noticed that all that rot shows up in their faces too? I know so many at the hall who look so old. Even my own parents. Most of the time you'd never guess my mom is only in her 50s. Although I gotta say, she doesn't necessarily act happy at others' misfortunes, but she always expects everything to turn out badly. She also constantly yammers on about this bad decision or that weak conscience. What fun.

  Odrade
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  OHappyDay

  Happiness is suspicious, unless you get happy by preaching. Enjoy yourself too much now, and you won't feel the need for the glorious "new world," which is right around the corner!
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  czarofmischief

  I have wondered about this.

  I think since their ideal, Jehovah, is supposed to be this arbitrary histrionic madman with murderous intent - thye subconciously imitate him.

  CZAR
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  hybridous

  Maybe oversimplified, but...

  'Misery loves company'...

  Never as true as in the Kingdom Hall...
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  Sam Beli

  Could not agree more with your point here, Met.

  God help you if you're involved in a Witness divorce! No-holds-barred and no lie is too outrageous!

  Never was a truer statement made about the JW culture. I saw the evil wrought by JWs, surrounding a divorce of two long-time JWs, with my own eyes up close and personal.
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  OICU8it2

  I've noticed the envy over money and success. Even mildly successful people were talked about. A good friend was an elder and conducted the tuesday night book study at his home. There was always talk about his swimming pool, his R.V., hisi Cadillac, etc. Too worldly, on and on. This man was the epitomy of generosity. Even gave a new car to the circuit servant. Always went out in service but because he hustled, was a teacher, and owned a successful business, people were so outraged. Those of us who tended to hang together did seem to be more financially secure and I feel this was held against us no matter how generous and unassuming.
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  Corvin

  God help you if you're involved in a Witness divorce! No-holds-barred and no lie is too outrageous!

  Truer words were never spoken, my friend.

  I asked an older sister - and an elder elsewhere, "What went wrong?". I got the same answer - envy. If you're successful, they'll hate you.

  Everyone in the organization is held to such high standards, and falling short of these requirements without notice is the game played by all JW's. Catching your brother or sister falling short of these requirements . . . priceless.

  Corvin
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  lovinlife

  JW's are fascinated with misery! This is what drove my daughter away from them. I got df'd, and when ever she saw the family and dubs would stop by etc, they would pretend to be interested and ask all about me and how I was. But later, if she went out in service (dad still JW) they would talk all about other people and their problems. She got old enough to figure out that the info she gave them about me what what they would talk about in service when she wasn't there. She said they would hash all the details over and then everybody would give their disapproving opinions etc. How they disgust me!