Parents don't understand...

überRabbit

My parents just don't understand why I don't want to be part of the Jehovah's Witnesses organization. It's not that I don't believe Jesus' teachings, but I believe that the Society has taken it too far. They read too deep into God's words, that they end up putting training wheels on everyone. What's wrong with training wheels? These training wheels have permanent locks on them, preventing anyone from having a self-guided opinion. My parents believe that if I don't feel like going to the meetings, then I shouldn't have the privelage of having friends over, leaving the house (except for school and work), and some other such "privelages". I wish that Democracy ran in the household also, rather than a dictatorship. Ticks me off. So, now, I go to the meetings, conventions, assemblies, etc., and they pretend everything is fine. In our "congregation", everyone talks about our family and another family. Both are ridden with hardships. The congregation thinks something is going on between the teenage girl of the other family and myself (a sixteen year old guy). My parents don't believe what I tell them (about the rumours and stuff about us), and I guess they don't care. I just don't want to be around that stuff. I'd really rather not be around my family either, but that's one thing I cannot control right now. Has anyone else gone through this? If so, what did you do about it?

seeitallclearlynow

I have not gone through it uberRabbit but I feel for you one hundred percent. I've always been a very liberal parent, even when raising my kids in the Borg. Their Dad was pretty strict, but I rode shotgun for them and always served as a buffer between them and him. They barely knew him! But they love him now that they don't live with him and they are happy.

I believe firmly that boundaries and requirements should be set but it makes me sad when I see parents try to completely control and extinguish their kids' true natures.

You sound pretty strong to me though, and I'm sure glad you are here!

Country Girl

Rabbit:

I understand what you are going through. I was raised in the same way, and it was rough. The only thing I could try to do is get my little ducks in a row (have a job, car, and money) so that when I hit the magical age of 18, I was gone like nobody's business. I never believed in the religion wholeheartedly I don't think, and it was just very tiresome and depressing. I can only tell you to try to get some interests that you can hang on to, and focus on those things until you are able to "put your ducks in a row, too". Good luck!

CG

myauntfanny

Yup, I went through this, 30 years ago. I'll tell you what, I remember lying in bed when I was eleven years old calculating how many years it would be before I could get a job and get the hell out of the house. The hardest thing in my teens was looking at my parents and thinking they were so bloody wrong about this religion, but I still had to follow their bizaare, destructive little rules, because they had the power, plain and simple. I got very rebellious and did silly things like running away from home (right before an assembly, I just could not stand the thought of another assembly) but I don't recommend that. Rebelliousness just makes them stronger and more self-righteous, it gives them something to pound on. You'll be surprised how much more you can get away with, if you just do it with quiet self-respect.

Good luck.

yxl1

Welcome rabbit,

You sound like me a few years back and I can remember how much my life sucked. All I can say is listen to the advice that people give you on this board, and then decide what you want to do. You have so many options that will start opening up for you and as long as you make the right ones, that are right for YOU personally, I'm sure you'll do fine.

Good luck

yxl1

Sassy

überRabbit, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.. keep your smarts about you. Some of us were not so wise when we were your age and got sucked into the brainwashing set of listening and obeying without defining if what they were saying was truth.

You should respect your parents.. or it will bring you drama, but there is no reason why you have to become a JW in your head and heart. Keep you mind alert.. and dont' get baptized.. other wise it will being trauma on you for years to come...

welcome to the board by the way

metatron

Your comments suggest a wisdom beyond your age.

It's gonna be tough for you for a long time. Don't do anything stupid just because you want out. It may be best

to just play along, for now - especially if you can influence your parents towards supporting you in college.

Concentrate on building a career - or going to college - this is the only practical way out, to become free from your

oppressive environment. My daughter went thru this ( we were still bone-head Witlesses then). She still has it tough

because we ( and she) should have put more attention on education and getting a good job, when we had the opportunity.

Eventually, your parents may come to understand that almost NO young Witnesses are "staying in the truth" these

days. If they can become aware of enough trouble in other families, maybe they'll 'cut you some slack' in your pursuit of

an ordinary life.

metatron

Your comments suggest a wisdom beyond your age.

It's gonna be tough for you for a long time. Don't do anything stupid just because you want out. It may be best

to just play along, for now - especially if you can influence your parents towards supporting you in college.

Concentrate on building a career - or going to college - this is the only practical way out, to become free from your

oppressive environment. My daughter went thru this ( we were still bone-head Witlesses then). She still has it tough

because we ( and she) should have put more attention on education and getting a good job, when we had the opportunity.

Eventually, your parents may come to understand that almost NO young Witnesses are "staying in the truth" these

days. If they can become aware of enough trouble in other families, maybe they'll 'cut you some slack' in your pursuit of

an ordinary life.

metatron

Dan-O

Yes, been there, done that. And as soon as I could after graduation, I was gone and I never looked back.

I made sure that my grades were good throught hunior high and high school, (ditto for college entrance exam scores) so that I got a scholarship. I also applied for every possible bit of financial aid at the university (grants, loans, work-study, etc.).

If you want out, then develop a plan to get out. You have two years. In the meanwhile, give your parents the resepct that they deserve & stay out of trouble.

Nocturne

überRabbit, welcome to JWD. I can understand your frustration with regards to your parents, especially since to them, there is nothing else but the Jehovah's Witnesses. They are victims of what you can call tunnel vision, not being able or not wanting to look at alternatives, and thus they impose their vision of the world onto you.

When I was your age (i'm only 21, so not that long ago), whenever I would start to drift away or lose interest in the religion, my mom would give me these long lectures about there is nowhere else to go, or why would you want to go back into the "world". Like you, I was under a dictatorship at home, where there basically no negotiating with things I didn't like that were going on.

Like many posters here have said, don't rush into making harsh decisions just because you want out. Take your time and work through the issues that you have to deal with, and then come up with a plan of what you want to do. I hope things work out for you, and hang in there.

Noctune (btw...cool name)

Parents don't understand...

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