Ways to motivate the Witnesses

by RR 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Steve Lowry
    Steve Lowry

    Well, first I'd make up some kind of time tracking form that the JW could fill out and feel real proud of, for how much time he or she were giving the organization, uh, I mean God.

    Then, to create a special elitism within the group, I'd create a special class, maybe something like 'Pioneer'. This way, those who spend more time and make more sacrifices could feel real special and above the rest. And others would want that special recognition and aspire to be ?Pioneers? too.

    Next, I would try and place subliminal messages in their magazines for them to read that would make them feel guilty for not selling more of the, uh I mean, not ?placing? more of the product, uh I mean literature.

    I?d create a sense of urgency with more messages in the magazines they read, maybe something like how the end of the world was coming and how they would need to make great sacrifices to spend as much time placing as much literature as possible before the end. Maybe even give some examples about how some faithful followers sold their homes and gave up careers to further the cause.

    I would also put some really cool stories in the magazines about those faithful followers who have been placing the literature. Some bad stories about how some would experience difficult situations but how they overcame and were "blessed" for their efforts. And some really nice stories about how sweet and rosey and beautiful the experience could be selling the stuff.

    Lastly, I?d let them know through more subliminal messages in the magazines that they could never really do enough to please God, but selling more and more literature just may offset any "sins" in their lives come judgement day.

    I dunno, but I think if the Watchtower Society were to ever pick up on any of these tactics and were to put them in to use, that?s probably all it would ever need to successfully motivate its followers. Lets? hope they never figure it out!

    Steve

  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    Simple. Pick a date at least 5 years but no more than 30 years from now. Work out some goobledegook reasoning on how this might be THE DATE for the end to come. Lay the groundwork slowly and subtly, a study article here, a convention talk there. Of course, never directly state anything that can come back to haunt them later. By 2006 you could have have some momentum going.

    Will this work? Will people be dumb enough to fall for this again? Of course!!

    No Apologies ( of the maybe I'll start my own religion class)

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    Annual "Watchtower Aid" benefit concert.

  • Dan-O
    Dan-O

    I like the credit card idea! How about these, too ...

    Money-saving coupons in the back of Watchtower & Awake ...

    Special, JW-only discounts on armageddon insurance ...

    Door prizes (cartons of Marlboros, bottles of Jack Daniels, boxed DVD sets of The Sopranos, etc) at every meeting ...

    Legal assistance for defense against child abuse charges ...

    401-K tax-deferred (until after armageddon) savings plan ...

    Dan-O, of the 'membership should have had some real privilidges' class

  • RR
    RR

    How about producing "Watchtower Action Figures" give the little kiddie's something to play with at the meetings. That way they'll have something to look forward too when they come to the meetings. Or Watchtower president bobble heads

  • Undaunted Danny
    Undaunted Danny

    Oh, oh,Armageddon ain't- a- coming,soooo..I'am -a- getten-,outta- here.

    The Jehovah's Witnesses cult creedo for the 21st century.We cop a plea,we A.O.P..We are lawyered up good.Armageddon-ain't-a-cuming,sooo i'am-a-getten-outa-here.Yes sir, ARM--A--GETTEN--IT--ON------------.

    Pimps,panderers,.babes,booze,buffoonerery,eat,drink.bee merry,wife swapping too.I am a whoring away mates.Because i WILL grow old and die,[unsaved]

    Amen..............

  • Dan-O
    Dan-O

    Maybe some WTS board games for informal get-togethers ... like Watchtower Monopoly (grab up all the cash & real estate), ... Kingdom Hall Clue (Elder Plum did it in the Library with a Candlestick) ...

  • Valis
    Valis

    Why not just tell em its OK to go out and battle the evil Apostates on the Internet? AND they could count thier time for it!

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    Have them attend a JC with Brownboy and Theocrat.

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool

    To motivate people you have to give them what they really want. Initiate a 'sin for service' program.

    For 10 hours of service you get to smoke 1 pack of cigarettes or get drunk once. Alternatively you can see an R rated movie.

    For 50 hours of service you get one trip to a strip club and get drunk and smoke there. For an additional 25 hours you get a lap dance.

    For 100 hours you get a blowjob from your wife. For 200 hours you get a blowjob from a pioneer. For 1000 hours you get a blowjob from someone who knows what they're doing (non-JW).

    For 200 hours you get to urinate in the contribution box.

    All these activities must be videotaped for the elders. Limit 1 blowjob per service year.

    Terms and conditions subject to change without notice.

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