G,day all from sydney
I've been dropping in to the board since being d'fd a month ago and have been very encouraged by the posts and they way everyone has been able to move on since leaving the collective.
Being a 5th generation, it was always very hard for me to imagine life life outside the Truman show bubble. Having a huge extended family who are all believers means that i now have virtually nil social contacts.
Soon to be divorced, the only contact i have with my past life is weekend visits from my 7 year old boy and 9 year old girl. Even that may change as their mother now insists they go to every Sunday meeting. The court is going to have to sort that one out.
Three years ago i was d'fd. I did the hard road and got back in but the treatment i received from the elders brought on major depression, my wife leaving me and then being hospitalised. After being discharged from hospital an overdose the next day saw me in intensive care for a week. I woke up with the elders at my bedside. Back to hospital. Three weeks later those same elders d'fd me.
What might seem like a sad story is not that bad though. I now see things differently.The words below are from a song that i wrote when i realised that there is a better life. These word best explain how i now feel. I hope they can encourage someone else.
I grew up all my life believing things were black and white
The deeds we do and words we say were either wrong or right
Decisions were so easy though the reasons were not clear
And the consequences held for me an ever-present fear
I lived my life compelled to freely share what I?d received
Devoted to my mission and respect that I?d achieved
By helping others find the way regardless of the cost
But could I point the way for them when I was just as lost
The world is grey , but grey is good
When black and white merge to reveal that choices really should
Reflect that we as people have emotion in our heart
I?ve finally found the freedom that kept black and white apart
The time had come to question all the things I thought I knew
The words were pleasant to the ears but were they really true?
While searching for the reason for my anguish and despair
I found the man inside of me I didn?t know was there
But even grey has come to me as ordinary fare
I didn?t realize that there was even more out there
The ring of truth has sounded and it?s meaning has unfurled
Revealing unmistakably the colours of the world
The world is grey, but grey is good
When black and white merge to reveal that choices really should
Reflect that we as people have emotion in our heart
But colour in my life now means I have a brand new start
Thanks everyone
Beaker