I remember those praises from the podium - "nothing is more wonderful than the fine gathering of Jehovah's servants from all walks of life..." Syrupy, happy...if this is the truth why did I want to die?
Did You Ever Wish That The Truth Wasn't True?
by Englishman 22 Replies latest jw friends
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Gerard
drnewson, this one's for you:
- If you think demons can reduce their size to fit in jewelry, furniture, books, or into blue smurfs, you might be a JW.
- If you feel that death is much more important than birth, you might be a JW.
- If you think Jesus hasn't accomplished much of anything for the past 86 years, you aren't the only JW who does.
- If you think JW's are not a cult, you are a pitiful JW.
- If you think the Watchtower is not capable of mind control, you are a naive JW.
- If you have a child that is 3 years old that sits quietly for hours at a time while adults discuss mind numbingly boring topics around him, and you brag about him to all your friends... you might as well get a saddle for him and ride him because you broke his spirit and he is no longer a child. And you might be a Jehovah's Witness.
- If you allow an organization to take the place of Christ, you are most likely a JW.
- If you believe that God ignored everyone for nearly 2,000 years, then suddenly gave His truth to a man who sat around drawing pictures and plans of pyramids, you must be a JW.
- If you have a tendency to justify lying and cheating to yourself, you are a good JW.
- If you're sure your neighbors are all conspiring against you, you might be a JW.
- If you're always afraid someone might see and hear you when you're finally just being "normal", you might be a JW.
- If you wash cars or windows for a living but still own five suits, you might be a JW.
- If you've never worn comfortable clothes in your life, you might have been a JW, from birth.
- If you can have a Bible study without a Bible, you might be a JW.
- If you're 25 years old and have never kissed anyone but your mom, you might be a JW.
- If you think that service to God can be measured in hours, you might be a JW.
- If you think men are superior to women, you may be a JW.
- If you think sex is a yucky thing you must endure, you may be a female JW.
- If you think you're entitled to having sex regardless of what you wife: thinks, says, or how she feels, you might be a male JW.
- If you think it's unfaithful to God to get an education or get a good paying job, you might be a JW.
- If you think the term "pioneer" refers to someone other than Davey Crockett, you might be a JW.
- If you think of window washing as a career move, you might be a JW.
- If you think attending 5 meetings a week is a delightful spiritual experience, you might be a JW.
- If you feel guilty for having natural desires, you might be a JW.
- If you think 1914 is the year to end all years, you might be a JW.
- If you think YOU conjectured the year 1975 (as the year the end would come, instead of the Society), you might be a JW.
- If you think the sound of a door slamming shut is Christian persecution, you might be a JW.
- If you hear "Along the Watchtower" by Jimi Hendrix or "Walk of Life" by Dire Straits and you feel spiritually refreshed, you might be a JW.
- If you think it took 1,935 years to get 144,000 true Christians, you might be a JW.
- If you think 1799 is the start of the last days, 1874 is when Christ returned, and 1914 is the conclusion of Armageddon, you might be a very old, disfellowshipped JW.
- 088) If you think "Jehovah" was in the original writings of the New Testament, you might be a JW.
- If you believe there was a Governing Body before 1971, you might be a JW.
- If you believe that New Light that becomes Old Light and then becomes New Light again is God's way of doing things, you might be a JW.
- If you read all these, and didn't allow yourself to laugh... you're definitely a JW.
- If the Watchtower Society used to preach a certain teaching years ago and you deny they ever did, you are a good JW.
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new light
Sure I did. Just goes to show ya sometimes wishes do come true!