Can I get some neutral insight without being preached to?

Nancy

I am not a JW but my mother-in-law is. Since the day her son proposed to me (he is not a JW) she has made my life a living hell. We have been married for just over a year and have a beautiful baby girl. She did not come see her when she was born (only 3 days later) and since February has not seen her only grand daughter. (We live in the same house separate apartments) She calls me a devil, she tells me I stole her son and ruined the relationship she had with him. I was in labour for 3 days and she called me and gave me a lecture how her son should be at work and not wasting time by my bedside. Mind you I was 2weeks early and induced for toxemia! She threatens me from upstairs. Bangs doors, slams doors and walks around in her winter boots at 7:30 in the morning. She tells everyone I am a thief and a slut! Do JW allow such behaviour to non-members? Is this proper godly behaviour? Why is she soing this? Her apartment upstairs looks like a doctor's office filled with watchtower material (ironically placed at the top of the stairs, in the bathroom and on her bed) also topic related. ie. marriage, who is Jesus Christ, who are the JW's, peace on earth, etc.,etc.,etc.

She doesn't help with rent or a bill. Doesn't visit her grand daughter ad then in front of family members she hugs me and tells me how much she cares about me. She tells me that she is not mad at me and adores me. Then why does she have my face covered in all the pictures she has displayed? She has thrown away food that we gave her and tells her son that she doesn't want it for fear of poision!? She left a note on her desk for her son saying that if she dies she wants an autopsy and legal action into her homicide death? What garbage are you feeding these people?

She locks her phone in the closest. Locks her toiletries in the closet. And the last time she saw me she came down and offered my 7 months old $20 to go buy steak!? Her son asked for help with bills because we are struggling and she said "no" she does not owe anything to us. I am supporting my family as well as a mother-in-law who only cares about running out the door to be with her "friends".

I want to know why she is treating me this way, and from an honest JW I want to know if this proper conduct for one of your "sisters".

I appreciate your insight into this tortuous issue.

Thank you,

Nancy

Fe2O3Girl

Hi Nancy,

Welcome to the board. You won't find many active Jws here, most are former JWs or "fading" JWs who are trying to leave without losing their families.

Your mother-in-law sounds like a very unhappy woman with some serious problems. Sadly, JW life is all about putting on the right "front" as you have seen.

How does you husband feel about her behaviour? Do you have to stay in that house?

All the Best!

Fe2O3Girl

DevonMcBride

Hi Nancy and Welcome to the board.

I'm not a JW but there are plenty of others here who will be able to give you more insight.

Devon

outoftheorg

Hello there.

Most, nearly all of the posters on this forum are EX jehovah's witnesses. No longer active in that cult belief system.

It sounds as if your mother in law is suffering with a mental illness and being a member of the jw cult will only exascerbate an already bad relationship.

If I were you, I would move away from her and limit any contact with her to the minimum.

But I am not you and so you must make your own decisions.

Stick around here for a while and you will get the help and iformation from many individuals. From all this info. you can have a wealth of good strategies to work from.

Sorry that you have to go through all this with your mother inlaw. Hope things get better soon.

Outoftheorg

Quotes

Hello Nancy, and WELCOME

Please spend a bit of time visiting some of the other threads of conversation here. You will find that most of the participants here are either (a) formber members of Jehvoah's Witnesses or (b) like yourself, victimized by JWs due to some close family situation.

Of course, all are welcome here, but for the most part JWs stay away, as they are told to avoid contact with "opposers" and "apostates" (i.e. formber members). They are also told to stay away from the internet (http://quotes.watchtower.ca/internet.htm), although that warning seems to be taken with a grain of salt and JWs often use the internet, but carefully.

Getting back to your question: Your mother-in-law's behaviour is not officially condoned by Watchtower, although it is possible that the subtle and vicious warnings she has heard about "people in the world" (i.e. non members, i.e. YOU) she has taken to heart, without a grain of salt.

Also, although I am not a doctor, it sounds like she may have some mental problems. It has been suggested that High Control groups (i.e. cults) like JWs often have higher than average incidents of mental health problems -- the question then is when did these problems develop, before or after joining the cult?.

Personally, one idea that occurred to me: next time she pretends she loves you and is so nice in front of other relatives, call her bluff: ask her, loud enough for all to hear: "Then why do you cover my face in all the family pictures? That doesn't sound like you love me at at.... [etc etc]." Use this idea with discretion, though, it could make things much worse, although you will have exposed her two-faces.

Spend some time here, you will find much helpful advice and insight into the bizarre and Orwellian world of JWs.

Elsewhere

You're best bet would be to move to another location. You may also want to talk to the elders of the congregation... let them know how she is treating you. Ask them if this is really "christian" behavior.

When it comes to relatives, I have a "30 Mile" rule... I don't want any of my relatives living within 30 miles of me. That way they can still visit, but at the same time it's far enough away that they won't be bugging me all the time.

However, my biological family has solved this problem for me... they shun me because I am not a JW.

Mulan

I know what I would do if I were you. I am a confronter, and since she is being "abusive" to you, I would call her elders and ask them what you asked us. It isn't hard to find their phone number. Information would have the number of a Kingdom Hall, and you can ask for an elder's phone number, or ask for a visit. Then tell them everything. They will talk to her. It may help.

They may try to arrange a Bible Study with you, but you need to make it very clear that you are not interested in becoming a JW, and only need some advice and help about/with one of their members.

TRUTH SEEKER

Nancy,

I am sorry to hear about your situation. It really does sound like she has a mental problem. She is probably very bitter because you married her son, and now she feels like she has lost him.

I have family members that act this same way. The problem is, they don't address issues, they hide from them. See if your husband will go with you to talk to her. It will be very uncomfortable for you all, but they must be addressed. She really sounds like she need some medication, though.

Again, my heart goes out to you. She is not acting in a very Christianly manner.

Jill

bikerchic

Nancy that is deplorable behavior regardless of what religion you MIL is in! You and your husband should not subject yourselves and your new daughter to that! If I were you I would move far away from her!

The only other recourse you may have is to have the Elders visit and let them know how their sister is behaving, maybe they can counsel her. However regardless I would move away from her she is toxic to you and your family.

Kate

Valis

Hmmm...another perspective...I'm sorry to say but the husband sounds like a momma's boy. At this stage in his life that will most probably never change. He is the one I would confront if I were you. If he is letting his mother abuse you and treat you badly then I would eighter make him fix the situation or move your family away from her. I bet his answers to your confronterher/him will tell you quite a few things about both of them. Oh and welcome to the forum.!

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Can I get some neutral insight without being preached to?

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