Hey Nos!
I squinted and twisted my head at several angles to see if I could figure out where I misinterpreted, and I've decided that I missed something somewhere between the lines here! I hope the sarcasm I used to make my point didn't put you off! Can ya forgive me, please!? *kicking ground with toe*
What I was trying to say is that everyone - not just the woman - has preconceived ideas on what someone is like based upon the experiences they have had with them prior to the actual face-to-face meeting. Men "fill in the blanks" just as easily as do women! I have never met anyone face-to-face that I first met online, so I will defer to those who speak from experience. However, IMHO, I think there are so many elements which play into whether two people who have first met online will hit it off and that I believe that one blanket statement about how it will turn out based upon factors such as time and/or unrealistic expectations can not be made. I think the real determining factors are based upon a combination of personal preferences, preconceived ideas that may have been in place years prior to meeting someone online that they'd like to meet face-to-face, and immediate circumstances. For example:
The problem as I see it is men expect to be able to romance women over the phone and through email.
IMHO, the problem as I see it is that men think that women expect to be romanced over the phone and/or through e-mail, when that is not necessarily the case. Sometimes I think there are too many "rules" put upon us as to how we must act under certain circumstances. I am a firm believer in that everyone should just be themselves in whatever situation they find themself in - whether over the phone, in an e-mail, or in person and should respond accordingly! There is no hard and fast rule that says a woman must be romanced from the first instant a man may think he's interested in her - especially when specific circumstances prevent it! When meeting people online, there are many circumstances which can prevent a face-to-face meeting for a while - the biggest of which are different geographical locations or personal circumstances which prevent one and/or the other from travelling when they would like to. Additionally, what a woman deems as "romance" plays a big factor. Maybe I am different than most woman, but the things I consider "romantic" involve being together face-to-face, so if anyone were to try to romance someone like me via e-mail or the phone, they probably wouldn't be too successful. So, IMHO, it is silly for a man to think he needs to romance a woman via e-mail or on the phone when in many cases, it is just not possible! Conversely, if a man realizes it can't be done this way and therefore doesn't try, it does not necessarily doom the relationship.
Again, I've never met anyone face-to-face whom I've first met online, so I could be wasting the energy it takes to type this all out. But I believe that there are many opportunities for positive outcomes, especially if both people actually represent who they really are while getting to know one another over the phone or through e-mail, and neither party falls into the trap of forming pre-conceived and/or unrealistic ideas of who the other is. I hate to think that if two people don't meet within a week of discovering that they actually would like to meet, the relationship is doomed. I prefer the more optimistic view that anything is possible regardless of how long it took to actually meet face-to-face or whether the man tried to romance the woman through an impersonal medium such as the phone or e-mail. Then again, maybe my glasses are just a bit too much on the "rose" colored side!
Anyway, I hope I didn't offend you, Nos! I luv ya and respect you (bow and all!) and don't want any hard feelings!
growedup