Interesting coincidence

by cruzanheart 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  cruzanheart

  Today is the one-year anniversary of my dad's suicide. I'm not bringing that up for sympathy or hugs, because while I feel sad I'm okay. I agree with the experts who say that one needs a year of grieving, passing the milestones, the holidays, the familiar seasons, in order to move on, and I do feel that I am moving on. I lit a couple of candles for him tonight, and we are planning to take flowers to his grave hopefully this coming weekend (it snowed this past weekend and the cemetery is an hour's drive).

  Anyway, today Jennie felt sick so I made a doctor's appointment for her, left work early, and after the appointment we decided to have lunch at La Madeleine. While we were there, I got the curious feeling that today I would see a Witness. Outside of the two I work with and an occasional visit with a couple of friends I haven't seen or heard from any Witnesses since the funeral, and precious few of them then. We ate lunch, didn't see anyone we knew, went home, I went and got Jackson and took him back to the doctor for his allergy shot (different doctor, same building). As we were leaving after the shots, there at the checkout area was a Witness I knew from the congregation where my publisher card is. My first thought was that I should listen to gut feelings more often. We both said hi, and made small talk about our sons' asthma. She finished first, said "good seeing you" and left.

  Now, this elder's wife has never been the bubbly type and we were never anything more than casual acquaintances. Her father-in-law is one of the elders who sat on my dad's committee and who received that lovely letter of denunciation I sent last March to the congregation. She works at the insurance agency where my dad had his insurance, and she is good friends with the only Witness from that congregation who came to Dad's funeral. She KNOWS what happened. She KNOWS I haven't been to meetings in about two years. I talked to her once at the insurance agency after Dad's death to get his car insurance canceled. This is the first time we've been face to face in years, and there was not one word of kindness, sympathy, or brotherly love. No, I'm not surprised. No, I didn't expect anything.

  It was just an interesting coincidence today, and a good reminder of what I left.

  Nina
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  Mulan

  Yes, very interesting. Makes you wonder about those feelings we get, doesn't it? ............like when the phone rings and you know who it's going to be, or when you are thinking of someone and they call you almost immediately?

  Thanks for sharing, Nina. Glad the day wasn't to hard for you.
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  FlyingHighNow

  It's good to hear that you have made progress in your grief. Maybe someone bigger than all of us meant for you to run into a sister with such a knowledge of your father and the circumstances surrounding his death. This just helped you feel even more solid in your decision to leave the WTBTS behind you. You are far luckier in your loss of your father than this woman is still trapped inside the org. This is saying a lot isn't it? What is that? That you, who has lost someone so dear to you, but is wise to the WTBTS, is better off than this woman who only thinks she has the world by the tail and is riding the crest of the proverbial wave.

  Heather
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  myself

  (((((((((((((Nina))))))))))))))) Hugs anyways, because we do care about your feelings.

  Your run in just reconfirms what you have been saying for the past year.

  The coincidence is well just one of those things that make you go hmmmmm.
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  SheilaM

  Nina:
  First, I am so sorry this day is so hard for you. I know our life is like a tapestry just loose threads being woven at the end is when we will see the beauty of the pattern. (((((((((nina))))))))))))

  Secondly, I know with the losses I have had this past year that there has been a suprising lack of sympathy. It almost seems like no one wants to express knowledge of the loss. I am wondering if people don't know what to sayI know the dubs have always been cold but now I feel it from the world and I am wondering why......even when I talk to my family it is just bizarre to me
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  Billygoat

  ((((Nina)))) I know that you and your family have grieved and GROWN this past year. Tonight I watched part of Mel Gibson's interview with Diane Sawyer. He said, "Pain precedes growth." So true! Personally I am glad you're out. I'm glad your husband and your children have escaped intact. No it's not been easy, but if it were easy, would we appreciate our freedom this much? As for today, although she didn't do much for you, perhaps you've said or done something that impacted her? Perhaps she is thinking, "Wow. Nina lost her husband to a terrible death. But she still looks great. She sounds healthy and peaceful." Maybe it's just enough to make her wonder about her precious Borg. You never know. Should you get the chance, read "The Five People you Meet in Heaven" by Mitch Albom, author of "Tuesdays with Morrie". Interesting thoughts on how we're all affected by each other when we don't know it. Love you, Andi
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  gilwarrior

  Cruzanheart, you mentioned that you went to La Madeline. This is a bakery? Do you live in the Houston area? Well so do I!
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  codeblue

  (((Nina)))...you are in my thoughts and prayers. I feel so bad for you, you have suffered a lot. You are right, healing takes time though.

  Your coincidence...wow...about running into a jw...makes me want to go: hmmmmmm..

  You are such a kind person, one day I would love to "meet you"...

  Codeblue
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  simplesally

  Sorry about your dad................ and it so weird when we have those gut feelings. I think we should pay more attention to our inner feelings. I think most of us left because of the lack of love. Had there been true fellow feeling we would have overlooked the other stuff and remained in the cult.
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  Special K

  Hi Nina.....I just love the genuine-ness of you...

  Grieving does take time...and the passing on of your Dad was surely hard.

  Your intuition serves you well...."gut feelings" for the day.

  I find (as a mom) my intuition and gut feelings are stronger than before I had kids. Sort of like a radar type beacon. Maybe Moms are more open to incoming cues..?

  sometimes when something happens in my day to day life. I say to myself "damn".. I didn't listen to my gut on this one. I had a strong feeling such and such was going to happen. .. and it did. My usual reason for not listening to these feelings are because I am in such a hurry I just stuff it down and keep plowing ahead toooo fast.

  sincerely

  Special K