Guilt trip

by Jrjw 29 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Good JW

  I can honestly say that I hardly ever feel guilty these days, and it's great! If I do feel guilty, it's usually something to do with stuff that actually matters (e.g. not seeing my mum in a while or something similar). When the guilt comes, I do something about it and it's gone again (no beating myself up as I did while in the org). If it's not something I can fix, I'll discard it.

  It's so much healthier to be this way. Looking back on my life as a JW, the guilt tripping they did was eventually paralysing for people like me so it defeated the purpose.
  
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  DesirousOfChange

  Has no one mentioned it? Or, did I miss it?

  F..O..G

  Fear

  Obligation

  Guilt

  The tools of a Cult.

  If you haven't done so yet, drop everything and get "Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steven Hassan.

  It's the Cult 101 textbook. JWs could be the Poster Child.

  Doc
  
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  just fine

  When I was first leaving it helped to think of the JWs I knew as being mentally deficient. Therefore when they said things to me I would take whatever was said in that context.

  Now- I don’t care, no guilt, no fear.
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  LisaRose

  Are you kidding? Of course other JWs try to guilt trip, it's practically an art form in the religion. I think when others seem to slack off in the religion it makes them uncomfortable, like if you don't believe in it fully it makes them question their own choices. They also could be a little jealous.

  Brush it off.
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  DesirousOfChange

  I think when others seem to slack off in the religion it makes them uncomfortable, like if you don't believe in it fully it makes them question their own choices.~ Lisa Rose

  I think that is so true, and even more so is the "slacker" is a once prominent JW -- CO, Conv Speaker Elder, long-time Pioneer, etc. And, add to that if the "slacker" is "educated". I can think of at least 2 JWs that reinforced my thinking that it must be The Troof because "they were smart" -- they went to college. One was a history major and when I heard that he had "stepped down" (whatever that means) I had to question why. Did he realize 607 was Bullsh!t? Did he realize a generation did not overlap?

  And when they know you personally, and you are a nice and genuine and sincere person, they just cannot imagine that JoeHoover is going to smite you and all of your nice family because you found something that just seems "wrong".
  
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  days of future passed

  I like to make comparisons. If you had a friend that treated you the same way your husband did, would you keep them as a friend? No. Yet somehow, it's supposed to be accepted in a marriage mate.

  The WT has encouraged women staying with abusive husbands since it's early years. Probably because the higher ups have not treated their own wives with respect.
  
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  jamiebowers

  Yes, I was guilt tripped when I left my abusive jw husband. Years later I completed a questionnaire composed by a FBI agent that studied domestic violence murders. On a scale of 0 to 9 of chances of being killed had I stayed in the marriage, I scored a 9.

  The example you're setting for your kids is that no one deserves to be abused. It would be very difficult to set any example for them if you're dead. Stand your ground. No rational person would expect you to stay in a situation where you're being mistreated. As a matter of fact, sane family and friends should be rallying around you. Contact the domestic violence hotline in your area to see if there are support groups that may help you to build a network outside of the cult.
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  flipper

  JRJW- AS you mentioned on your other thread - you are on the right track researching mind control and the B.I.T.E. model . I agree with Desirous of Changes suggestion and please read all 3 of Steve Hassan's books on cult mind control. It will help strengthen your resolve that indeed, YES - you are doing the right thing in exiting and staying away from the JW influence and people. You'll learn by reading these books that the two main weapons that all mind control cults use to control people are FEAR and GUILT. It is the two legs that all mind control cults and organizations walk on.

  It takes time to rebuild our personal self esteem after we exit the Witnesses because through guilt tactics - the WT Society makes us not trust our own thinking and judgment on issues, giving out fear inspiring threats and guilt of false things that will happen to us if we leave the JW's. Like : " you'll die at Armageddon " , " you'll lose your sense of direction " , You'll become a bad person shooting up drugs and having orgies " - all of which are false and not true. Those things don't happen to people who leave the Witnesses ! Usually people start having the happiest years of their lives !

  It takes time to get that strength and inner fortification within your mind JrJW. Give yourself that time and do the work of informing yourself by reading Steve Hassan's books. And other books addressing breaking free of mind control. Our minds were pre-programmed with WT Society drivel and indoctrination scaring us needlessly- it takes time to re-program our inner self. Please for your sake and the sake of your daughter - take the time to do that my friend. You won't regret it in the long range view. Might be hard at first, but you'll be glad later you did it. Hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  Jrjw

  Thanks Mr flipper. I have a lot of reading to do 😊
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  ShirleyW

  Did anyone have other jws try to guilt trip them when they were leaving or if you were making a decision which jws felt was wrong but wasn't unscriptural?

  That's what they do, it's their scriptural obligation (at least in their minds) to do so