Land of the living dead

by hoser 10 Replies latest jw experiences

  • hoser

    One of my children got disfellowshipped recently. I was worried about that some of my jw friends and jw relatives would mention it to me and it would make for awkward conversation as I am glad that he is out.

    I went to a jw family gathering. Nothing. Nothing. No mention of even his name

    It is like this person has never existed.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Thank you, hoser, for sharing this news.

    Now, on the other side of the fence, we are not devastated by this so-called death of a loved one. As far as your family's and friends' non-mention of the disfellowshipping, are they all aware of it?

    Of course, I don't know them, but I sometimes have wondered about such a silence, initially attributing it to a callous disregard of my feelings. When, in fact, the reality was they didn't know or were in a quandary as to what to say, a sort of embarrassed silence.

    We're so accustomed to the published WT stories of the devoted JW family abandoned by the brazen wrongdoer who has no concern for Jehovah, Bible principles, and the poor Christian family left in the dust.

    I hope it all turns out well for you and your child.



  • jp1692

    More important than what "JW friends and relatives" think, how is YOUR relationship with your child now?

  • Ray Frankz
    Ray Frankz

    I have a disfellowshipped person in my household and it's the same. Even the eleders only refers to him as "the chap". It's incredible, even when they send regards to the family they mention everyone in the house except him, in order to make clear that the regards weren't to the disfellowshipped.

  • Searching

    My heart honestly goes out to you - it's horrible to think that friends and family would turn their back on those who they've known for years or perhaps all their lives.

    I really hope that in time they come to realize that what they are doing is cruel and against everything Jesus taught.

  • atomant

    Yep it really exposes these people for what they are.They all need to be reminded of what their own bible teaches.Fruits of the spirit. Love,joy,peace,forbearance,kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self control. None of these attributes are displayed when shunning.

  • scratchme1010

    It is like this person has never existed.

    Did you bring the subject of him? I would have, just to make a point. Also, how's your relationship with him? meybe he needs you more now than before.

  • Rebecca 619
    Rebecca 619

    Hoser, I also have a son that's desfellowshiped , no one ever asked for him or bring him up, I always mention something like he's doing well in school or something like he helps me caring for my aged mother , and 😑 it's like he doesn't exist , so sad

  • steve2

    In my local congregation in the 1980s, the disfellowshipped young son of an active JW committed suicide.

    While his mother got lots of condolences from other JWs not one of the written condolences from the JWs even mentioned his name or the pitiful circumstances of his death. Instead, the overly preachy messages focused on sorrow for the struggle she went through in maintaining her faith and the hope of making it into the new system of things. I know this because my JW mother was one of this woman's main supports during this tragic time and my mother - as dedicated as she was - expressed to her own children, including me - I was active at this stage - how disturbed she was that no one talked about her son who had been disfellowshipped for the better part of one year at the time he took his life.

    This sad and lost young man went from being spiritually dead to the JWs to be literally dead - however, unlike others who literally die, no one in the congregation mentioned his name.

    The family held a private memorial service for the young man which my mother attended.

  • tiki

    And they call our type mentally diseased.....

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