religious or secular?

by fader 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • fader

    I have never been a religious person, despite being raised as a Witness and going through the motions. Now that I'm out, I'm not a religious person at all. I don't believe in god, I think there is some sort of higher power, but I'm just not that concerned with learning anything about it. I just have no 'spiritual need', as my mother says.

    I have noticed though that many on this board are still religious/spiritual people, despite having been severely burnt in some cases.

    How is it that I, raised by intensely religious people, have turned out that way I have? Why do some have 'faith'? I don't mean to be rude or offend anyone, but I just don't believe. I can't believe. Despite trying hard to believe, wanting to believe, I never could.

    Any thoughts? Anybody have a similar experience?

  • franklin J
    franklin J


    I hear you loud and clear. I feel the same way.

    Having been raised in "the Truth", pioneer, Ministerial Servant; Dad was an Elder---I think I had my fill of religion for several lifetimes. I do not consider myself religious in any way ( spiritual , yes; but that is another story). I have attended services of many different faiths and always turn up the same response--NO INTEREST.

    However, I am very interested in ALL religions PHILOSOHICALLY, and can discuss them with much interest. Does it mean anything "spiritual" to me ? No.

    We are not alone.

    regards, Frank

  • cruzanheart

    Big Tex and I have two children: Jennie is 10 and Jackson will be 8 next month. They both went to the Kingdom Hall with me until two years ago. We studied the Society's publications and the Bible with them both. But, due to very different personalities, I can see my skeptical Jennie leaning toward an agnostic viewpoint (or at least an I'll-believe-in-God-when-it-helps-me sort of attitude) whereas Jackson is most sincerely spiritual -- not that he reads the Bible but he is very concerned about what God thinks about him and truly believes that God is watching over him and his family (which is more my viewpoint too). I think we just have to go with what our personalities and life experiences teach us and, unless we are totally sociopathic, believe that this is good enough for whatever Higher Power, if any, is keeping score.


  • fader


    I really found your observations fascinating. My son, Peter, is 5 years old, and despite the fact that my husband and I have not given him any formal religious training (much to the chagrin of my JW mom) he is intensely interested in God. He's been to the KH maybe 10 times, many of those when he was too young to even remember it, he went to his 'worldly' grandfather's funeral, and I found out that at his private British school they said grace before lunch, but basically other than that no exposure whatsoever to religion. And yet, he always says things that shock me -- like asking to pray before a meal (he's seen my parents do it at their house, and he does it at school), or he'll ask me what God would think about something or other.

    I really am starting to think that this is sort of like the old homosexuality debate: is it innate or learned? I think faith and being religious just might be innate and I wasn't born with it.


  • DanTheMan

    My parents are faithful, churchgoing Catholics, as are their siblings for the most part. Some of my cousins are active in the church, but most aren't. So the traditional religiosity of my extended family seems to be petering out with my generation. My mom told me on the phone the other day that she "prays and prays" that me and my sister will come back to the church. I could never tell her that she's wasting her time because it will never happen, that would break her heart. Her whole life is structured around the Catholic church, and she loves it deeply.

    My dad also remains a faithful Catholic, which is hard for me to understand as he is a very educated and intelligent man, I think Catholicism to him is more of a social/political outlook than anything.

  • Sargon

    Just beleive in yourself Fader, the rest is all irrelevant.

    I too wanted to beleive but everything else let me down.

  • SpiceItUp

    I wanted nothing to do with religion for a long time after i stopped attending meetings. Now I am more interested in spirituality...I still don't belive in organized relgions though.

  • stillajwexelder

    When I started to question -- I questioned everything since I had been lied to by people I never expected to lie to me-- and that started with God and the bible itself - - I do still believe in God but have become MUCH MORE SECULAR

  • Undecided

    I'm religious in a secular way. I practice no religion but think about it alot. What really gets me thinking is how can something get started from nothing. Our minds can't comprehend something, or someone not having a beginning. I just came to the conclusion that we can't understand what time or space is. We are not able to understand life or God, so if you want to have faith in something beyond our ability to understand, just don't try to convince me it's "Truth". I'll make up my own or just stay in a constant state of wonderment.

    Ken P.

  • drawcad_1

    I question a lot of the bible, the method that it was put together, and all of the characters. I think that if you read into it enough you can get some good points out of it. If that is what you are looking for. I do not know if there is a higher order, but looking out for other humans feelings makes me feel better than living by ?bible standards? (?).

Share this