A whole month of no meetings or field service!

by eyeslice 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • eyeslice

    I have really struggled over the past nearly three years with my loyaties and how I view the religion I was brought up in. However, 2004 has seen a turn around and I have not been to a meeting nor have I been out in field service for a whole month.

    It is still strange and difficult though. I have been associated with the witnesses for over 45 years and during that time, since I was about 6 years old, I can honestly say I have never missed more than the odd meeting and never a whole month in field service.

    Even as I have re-evaluated my beliefs over the past three years since stepping down as an elder, I have been regular at the meetings and on the work.

    Naturally, my wife is very upset and it is a situation I know I must handle very gently. I don't want to be totally dishonest but at the same time it is better to for her to think I am spiritually weak at the moment rather than being an unbeliever!

    I am a little surprised though that only one elder has been to see me and none appear to have asked after me, despite the fact that I served as an appointed man (ms and elder) for 30 years. However, I am bracing myself for the backlash soon!


  • xjw_b12

    eyeslice. Nice to learn a bit more about you. My dad came from a similar situation, and struggled for years, without any of us knowing it until the end. It put a lot of strain on the marriage, until mom saw the light.

    I wish you the best, and please keep us in the loop. you are going to need the moral support, now more than ever.


  • Valis

    yo eyeslice...We want to know what you've been doing during meeting times! *LOL* Have you calculated just how much time you have gained?


    District Overbeer

  • Agent Smith
    Agent Smith

    My situation is very similar.

    I steped down from my MS position a while back. My women thinks I'm just weak right now, but I am having strong doubts. I know she is a diehard fan so she wont leave the Org. I try to support her even though I doubt the Org. I rarely go out in field service. I do make most meetings. Keep seem to shake them

  • minimus

    This month, it is my anniversary.......6 months and inactive!!!!!!!! It feels great! My wife was officially inactive as of last month.

  • Valis
    This month, it is my anniversary.......6 months and inactive!!!!!!!! It feels great! My wife was officially inactive as of last month.

    w))t! So what should we call her? missimus? minimrs? I can't resist asking min a question eheh...So have you calculated your saved time min? You have to report if to JWD you know... Sincerely, District Overbeer

  • JamesThomas

    My heart goes out to you Eye. I too was raised in the "truth" from about 5 or 6 years of age. Many here know first hand the multifaceted agony that can be experienced in the process of being true to your heart and moving on. I can only suggest being patient and kind to yourself and your dear wife. Changes need to be made, but lets allow them to happen in their time. Often times we get easily lost in the minds interpretation/commentary and the triggered emotions, and feel a sense of urgency, when there really is none. Go out and do what you enjoy; what brings you a sense of peace and centeredness. You are not alone. You will pass through the storms. I am glad you are here. j

  • Sassy

    has to be hard to be missing and have a mate still going and disapointed you are joining her. It's a lot easier when you are on your own or have no JWs in your household. I guess I am not surprised sometimes when people don't get phone calls asking where they are. Although I made the choice to leave for good last July. I have been to one meeting since memorial last year and before that was for the most part inactive before that. No one has once asked me how I am doing, that they miss me, nothing. I've moved now and no one even knows I left. But it works out, shows the lack of love that one would expect to find.. easier to leave and stay out when you think about that.

    ps.. our history as JWs timeline is the same.. I was about 5 when mom started studying.. and just left now and I'm 45.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl


    Should be an EYE opener. They are busy tending to those who are coming in, rather than those that are already in. A new source of $. That's really all it boils down to, when you look at it. The new ones are love-bombed, and those that have served up most of their lives to the WT on a silver platter are treated like second hand used goods. Supposedly, you're already well indoctrinated and will willingly give $ and time to them, they want to FOCUS on the ones that can bring them MORE $ and time. Because with time, we all know, brings more $. They're just another greedy pack of liars. For you, I would recommend that you go to www.rickross.com and read about all the cults and note their similarities to the WTS. Once you start questioning, you are a threat and you will be eliminated.

    As far as your wife, just support her as much as you can without giving up your personal integrity. It is surely hard. There are ways to plant seeds of doubt.. and it can be done, but it's hard. Just be true to yourself, brother, and keep on searching for the truth, whatever that may be for you.


  • Carmel

    Well wishes to you and your circumstances. I'm glad I walked away at age 15 when flexibility and life issues were not such a big deal. Since you've invested so much of your life, it must be hard to realize that it was/is much less than you thought it to be. I can't imagine how it would be to have a mate that is "unevenly yoked" into a cult.


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