In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a! bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would
be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's
"just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this
because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as
opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now,
somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this
one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals." (Oh my God .was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
I Thought these were laugh out loud funny.