Is it possible to stay friends?

Fe2O3Girl

I am no longer in touch with anyone I've had a relationship with in the past.

There was one man that I stayed friends with long after I had got over the relationship. However, the "staying friends" stuff dragged out the process of getting over the breakup to painful lengths. The friendship lasted as long as he needed a mate in the area to pass an evening with when he was around here, and someone to fill out the numbers and buy a present when he got married. When I married, it was much further from Newcastle to Cheshire for him and his wife to travel than it was from Cheshire to Newcastle for us to travel to his wedding, so they couldn't make it. Dipshit.

So......

If a couple has children, it's desirable that they stay at least civil with each other. But if you don't have that kind of long term link, i.e., you don't HAVE to keep in touch, is it possible or desirable to stay friends?

In my experience, it drags out the pain of the break up, and you just get on each other's nerves. If you liked each other that much, why break up? What do you think?

Satans little helper

Ths short answer is no, actually the long answer is no too.

I was with someone for 5 years when I decided that enough was enough and I left. I hurt her alot and compounded it by staying friends with her and swinging between shall we / shan't we get back together. In the end staying in touch made it harder for both of us to move on and we both hurt other people because of this.

The final nail in the coffin was me meeting someone very special who I am now married to and I am not in contact at all with my ex.

My wife on the other hand is still in contact with her long term ex who is now married with a kid, thing is he is in Holland and not living a mile away from us like my ex. I think if there is real distance between you then you can keep in touch and remain civil without emotion complicating things too much. Real friendship with someone you once loved is impossible because at the back of your mind you will always gauge your current relationship against the old, and tend to forget the negative aspects of the old relationship.

darkuncle29

If I were in your situation, I'd just let the relationship fade. Smile at the memories. If you should cross paths someday, then by all means say hello. Have as much of an exchange that you feel confortable with. Let the feeling that there is any obligation between you go.

I've been meaning to ask, are you a chemist? When I first graduated HS I attended colledg for one year seeking a chemistry degree. I wish that I'd stuck to it.

Peace

Robdar

I am still friends with most of my ex boyfriends. The effort that I put into these friendships was worth it. They are good men and just because we no longer sleep together doesn't mean that they don't have fine qualities.

However, my ex husband and I will never be friends. It's better that way.

Robyn

Maverick

When it is over, it is over! Do you go back to visit places where you worked but got canned, or had to leave cause you could not stand working there anymore?

Better to look ahead. In a relationship SOMEBODY always gets hurt. There is pain for at least one of the two people. Why go there? The dumper may tell the dumpee that they will remain friends to soften the blow...but it is a lie! Maverick

eyegirl

i think it is possible, for awhile anyway. my ex whom i was engaged to, we broke up almost 2 years ago. we were friends for quite awhile before we ever dated. our breakup was one of the most difficult things for the both of us, but we knew it was for the better. we've managed to remain fairly close friends since. however, he's involved in a relationship and his current girlfriend really does not like me. she and i have never met, but she's been very vocal in letting us know that she doesn't approve. it looks as though she's winning out. he used to call me once a week and we'd talk for maybe an hour or so. now, it's at most 15 mins--she sits next to him and times him. he didn't call this week, but emailed yesterday and it seems as though she's now put the kabosh on any future phone calls. it's kind of ridiculous......they live 1500 miles away. i have no intentions or plans of seeing him anytime soon, neither of us has any desire to be in a relationship with the other again--we only want the best for each other. he's aware of that and has made her aware as well. and he says he's not whipped, lol.

anyway, back to the original ques. yes, i think it's possible to remain friends if you're both willing, but it takes effort on both sides.

sorry to get off the topic there for a min.

Guest 77

Anything is possible with humans. Take the case of My mother-in-law and I. She wanted to control her daughter but I wouldn't let her. I became a thorn in her side. Today we are on speaking terms and everything is honky-dore. Ha ha.

Guest 77

reboot

I still really care about people i've been in a relationship with (except one and he can rot in hell...)

They were good people when I was with them and they still are...the relationship's just changed... two evolved back into good, platonic ones; we stay in touch and make sure we're there for eachother.

Others have decided not to stay in touch with me,and that hurts; but I have to accept that it's just the way they want it to be.

I'd say it's definately possible, depending on the reason for the break-up.

unbeliever

I am friends with an exBF. We had been broken up for sometime before we became friends again. He sometimes exparates me but I can't imagine not having him in my life. He was a lousy BF but he is a really good friend. I can always count on him.

stillajwexelder

very unlikely but nothing is impossible - -my 2 cents worth

Is it possible to stay friends?

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