Memorial Non-Attendance: The Single Most Impactful TTATT Witness to JW Friends & Family

by AMNESIANO 10 Replies latest jw friends



    (Posted annually since 2014)

    NOTICE: The following is submitted in full recognition of and with compassion and due respect for those who, due to personal circumstance, feel they are unable to employ the following powerful strategy. That said, if you have conscientiously stopped attending meetings, you must never, ever again set foot at the Watchtower’s annual Memorial “celebration.”

    Read on for the reason.


    Anyone who has awakened to the truth about “The Truth” (TTATT) and has conscientiously left the organization--especially a once-prominent, highly-regarded, studious true-believer from a celebrated multi-generational tribe of JWs-- after decades of devout, high-profile "serve-us," who continues to put in an annual appearance at the Memorial thoroughly subverts and undermines, by this one act, any hope s/he may entertain that his/her departure will stir family or former friends to question the whole Watchtower bamboozle. By this one concession s/he assigns him-/herself by every single JW to their handy and dismissive purgatory: the "spiritually-weak."

    Nothing blasts a louder, clearer, and more deliberate message to the JWs who personally knew you and to those familiar with your JW bona fides that you are not merely "not making the meetings," "inactive," or "spiritually-weak," but that there is a conscientious reason you have rejected the entire Watchtower Society life than choosing to forego what they know you once believed to be Jehovah's must-attend, one-and-only, holy/sacred event of the year for his people: the Lord's Evening Meal, or Memorial.

    You hand them the very justification they so relish to self-righteously label you as a "submarine Witness" deserving of Jehovah's, and more importantly, their judgement.

    Much more tragically, though, you squander your prize opportunity to nudge thinking, doubting ones—who definitely notice!—to seriously ponder the possible reason for your shocking and total departure. Again, all accomplished without any confrontational unpleasantness.

    Attending the Watchtower's Lord's Evening Meal, even though likely well-intentioned or for many understandably unavoidable at present, is still a colossally misguided go-along-to-get-along concession for anyone whose genuine and sincere intention or desire it is to awaken others to TTATT.


    Captive 7/1972 - 2/2001

    Last Memorial attendance: April, 2001

  • ToesUp

    Yes, we told family that we were not attending. Things just have not been the same since. We refuse to enter a Kingdom Hall or JW event.

    If JW's feel they can not, in good conscience, enter a church or church event, then they must also respect our decision. We know they won't respect us but it was a good thought. lol

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    i think the last time i sat through that farce--to placate the born in harridan i married...would have been 1980. we divorced a year later.

  • lastmanstanding

    I was sitting at the back of the hall by myself one year, and so the elder had to walk over to me specifically.

    When he got right up to me, I motioned with my hand and nodded my head in acknowledgment.

    He froze and went white. I didn’t touch it.

    He stood there like he was going to pee his pants, and he wouldn’t move on.

    He stood there some more.

    Finally, I reached out my hand to touch the glass. I didn’t take it mind you. Just a brush.

    The color came back up into his face like a glass filling with pink lemonade.

    Off he went, satisfied.

    Do you see the picture of a man immersed in superstition?

    And they are all like that.

  • Biahi

    Last year I was bugged to attend by my mom, I told her if I went I would partake, because I am a Christian. She dropped the subject. I’ve already decided if I’m approached by strangers with an invite, I’m going to ask, “Isn’t this that ceremony you have where you pass the bread and wine and no one partakes. That’s what they do at Satanic black mass, and I want no part of that. “ I figure that will shut them up fast, and maybe think.

  • jookbeard

    I think even the R&F know its a massaged piece of creative number counting that carries little credibility, we always used to call memorial attendees as spiritual submarines, they'd submerge once a year and you'd never see them again, comical, when my fade commenced in the early 1990's I attended the 1993 memorial, never set foot in the khazi again

  • lastmanstanding

    Everyone is a spectator.

    Did Jesus tell his apostles to invite as many spectators as they could get?

    When Jesus said, “do this in remembrance of me”, he didn’t imply a load of spectators merely passing it by, shunning the cup and the bread.

    When the cup was passed, it was meant to be drank. This demonstrates unity of the church, sharing the cup.

    It demonstrates nothing, save maybe contempt for the blood of Christ, to show up and pass a cup around.

  • Maria Nieves
    Maria Nieves
    ToesUp, do you now belong to another religion? Do you still believe in God? What do you do when you need spiritual food? Where do you turn?
  • What Now?
    What Now?

    Haven’t attended the memorial since 2013. Haven’t even received a guilt inducing email invite for the past few years, I must really be a lost cause to my family!

  • rawe

    Hi Everyone,

    Since leaving in 2007 I have attended memorial almost every year (I think I missed one time). I do so as a sign of respect for two individuals who remain in the faith. My mother-in-law and one dear friend who was like a mother to me while I was growing up. And to an extent I wish to slay a certain bogeyman. I live in Chandler Arizona where no JWs know me. I lived in north Phoenix when I left the faith and although gave talks around the valley when I was an elder, still no JW knows me down here. I grew up in Quesnel, BC, Canada. For the last two memorials I've made the trek up to Canada to visit family at the time of the memorial so I can attend there. I'm heading up again this year.

    Now if you think this is all a bit crazy -- I totally understand -- and it probably is to an extent ;-).

    In 2013 I began to attend Valley Unitarian Universalist Congregation here in Chandler. I became a member of VUU in January 2015. UUs are one of the few faiths that accept atheists, such as myself. Lots of atheists are non-religious, so I'm a bit of an exception there too. The UU faith rejects the idea of dogma. None of "you must believe this or that or do this or that." Rather UUs are guided by seven principals. The sixth principal is:

    "The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all"

    While I cannot control what someone might think of what it means when I attend, I also don't worry too much about that either. I've twice attend services as a Mosque. I've attended Catholic Mass, one time in Latin. If someone were to conclude I'm a Muslim or Catholic or agree with the doctrines of these faiths they would be wrong. For those that want to know they just need to ask. What I hope though is these efforts help bring a wee bit of peace, liberty and justice. I don't know if that for sure will work. But that is my goal nonetheless.

    Likewise, if someone were to conclude I hold a sympathetic view towards JW beliefs that is not true. On the other hand, if someone were to ask, I would surely report that I hold a sympathetic view towards JWs as individuals. In particular certain individuals I hold very dear and wish for them to realize that whether they decide to remain or leave does not alter how I feel about them. Given that both are older women in their 80s who have been life-long JWs I'm not sure how keen I would be for them to leave the faith. Leaving in my 40s, it took me several years to adjust. I have no idea what it would be like for someone in their 80s.

    The leadership of JWs attempt to make out that former members are bogeyman. Ex-JWs are surely misled by the devil and could never leave and live good lives. The leadership also implies both JWs and Ex-JWs will follow certain rules. I see no reason why such a premise should be accepted. My name was announced at the Kingdom Hall, but I was never disfellowshipped nor did I write a letter of disassociation. When I openly celebrated Christmas in 2009 after leaving in 2007 the Union Hills elders took it upon themselves to act against my wishes and ultimately without informing me. However, this doesn't mean I must treat people in any different way. When I show up, I'll be friendly and say "hi." How folks respond is up to them. When I see Witnesses in public and if I have the time, I will visit and engage them in a friendly way. If the conversation allows for it I share a bit of my story.

    I'm 54 and am in college now. It is slow going since lots going on with a family, work and church. This semester I'm taking Philosophy 101. I ran across this passage in my text that I thought was interesting:

    "The true Brahmin adopts nothing from others, owes nothing to others' views; immune from strife, he deems no theory 'the Truth.'" (Buddhist Scripture: A Dialogue on Dogmatism and Truth).

    Cheers, -Randy

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