Question concerning a family member of mine

Angela

The other night I was awake just lying in bed at about 3:00 a.m. when I heard my niece's cell phone ring. She answered the call. Though I didn't or couldn't hear the entire conversation what I did get out of it was that she was somewhere (a restaurant I think) with a guy who had a gun.

She was re-telling the story to whoever she was talking to.

As soon as she hung up the phone I went to talk to her. I told her that she really should take a look at who her friends are. I gave her this whole speech. I told her I am not sure if I am going to tell her mom or not.

My niece is 18 and is living a "double life". I am afraid to tell my sister about the gun incident but I think I should.

The only thing that may stop me is the fact that it is going to cause more trouble and tension between her and my niece. My niece is going to rebel against her mother no matter what.

Yet I still think my sister has a right to know her daughter is really in danger.

Any advice? Do I not get it? Is this a black and white situation?

amac

Tough call! A parent definitely deserves to know something like that...the problem is if that parent doesn't have a good relationship with the child it could be useless. What was your niece's reaction to talking to you? Do you think you could talk her into talking to her mother about it?

If you do tell the mom, you need to get her word that she will deal with it properly. She must promise to deal with it in love, not in anger. She must be patient and understanding. Get her to agree to this first.

Angela

Thanks amac. That is great advice. I keep thinking that if it were my kid I would want that information. But on the other hand I like to think I wouldn't be a bad parent.

Unfortunately, my sister is very judgmental and bitter.

Winston Smith :>D

IMHO, I would think of what i would do in a worst case scenario.

If your niece did die of a gunshot wound from hanging with her crowd, in hindsight would you regret not telling your sister about this incident?

For me, that would give a large indicator of what should be done IMO

xjw_b12

Angela. Wow haven't heard anything from you since March of last year.

Q1 Are you still a JW?

Q2 Why is your neice living with you and not her mother?

Q3 Is your neice a BAPTIZED JW?

xjw_b12 of the "nothing is black and white" class

sandy

xjw_b12, I have been posting under another name. I also go by Sandy. I use a different name because I am afraid of lurkers.

I could not post anymore today so I used my other name, Angela. I am almost to the point where I do not really care if people (family) find out I am on this site.

That is all. Take Care

My niece is baptized but marked within the congregation. I am in active.

Euphemism

Okay... I mean no disrespect, Angela, but since you asked, here's my opinion.

What is your sister going to do if you tell her? Is she going to do anything productive and helpful? Or is she just going to go all JW and controlling on your niece?

And what effect do you think it would have on your relationship with your niece, and her ability to trust you and talk to you if she's in trouble and needs help, if you were to tell her mother?

(And maybe just one other question, if I may: Are you sure that you really should have been eavesdropping on your niece's conversation?)

amac

In contrast to Euph's advice, you need to either talk further to your niece or talk to the mom. You might want to consider telling your niece that you feel obligated to tell her mom since she may be in danger. See how she reacts to that and it may help you make a decision.

garybuss

If you think she is doing something illegal, step up to the plate and call the cops. If you don't think she is doing anything illegal, butt out. Then you leave the mother completely out if it either way.

When I was 18 I carried a gun. What's the big deal? I lived 300 miles from my parents, I had a job and was making my own way. Guess there must be more to the story than I read in the post.

amac

When I was 18 I carried a gun. What's the big deal?

You're right! Every 18 year old should carry one, right next to their cell phone.

Why in the hell would any 18 year old need to carry a gun? Whatever the reason, I wouldn't want my daughter hanging out with them.

Question concerning a family member of mine

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