by link 6 Replies latest jw friends
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
Can anyone explain to me a little of what this is about. If I got my JW wife to agree to treatment, is it possible that she would come to see what I already know - the lifestyle and belief system is destroying her health. Shortly after baptism, 30 years ago, she developed C.F.S. which was known as M.E. in those days and she has never been the same since.
I really would appreciate some info on this.
link
CBT is what my wife went through after her little break down last year, my wife has Dissociative Identity Disorder (aka MPD). It's helped her a lot. It's worth a try...it's generally pretty expensive...very intense...hope ya got insurance.
I'm familiar with CFS, although I do not have that, I do have Fibromyalgia. It is so wonderful that today, doctors do understand that these things are not "in one's head", but they are based on body and chemical malfunctions in the brain. My sympathies to your situation.
It is my understanding that Cognition is the way we generally "react" to stimulus...our range of emotions. What triggers our pain, our joy, and sadness, our laughter, our depression.through our perception of our existance...the highs and lows. When we discover what sets us off, then we look into "why" we react the way we do. Why are we so full of guilt, pain and fear? These constant areas cause our body and mind great stress, and the body reacts many different ways. One way is to shut down and the exhaustion and fatique is debilitating. A professional therapist should be qualified to walk a person through this process. (It took many years for me to find a good psychologist who helped me work through the final difficult phases and on out into the light. The biggest problem I had was not knowing where to go for help and not having the insurance or the money.)
I hope your wife gets this therapy because if the therapist is a good one, the experience could change her life. It could certainly help her to see her "co-dependence" on the religious organization she has chosen. It could open her eyes to many things and change her outlook and perceptions. This would be a very good thing. With you by her side, that is a definite plus. Change is never easy and very scarry.
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Hello LInk,
I was doing a little research on this and I found an exact definition for your wife's condition: look under fibromyalgia then TREATMENT and you will get the exact condition and what to do.
I hope this is helpful for you and your wife
All my love Orangefatcat
Link,
I first learned a little about cognitive behavioral therapy in a seminar called "Self-discipline and Emotional Control" by Tom Miller. I also received several months' treatment from a psychologist who used cognitive behavioral therapy. Here's my description based on Tom Miller's explanation of the approach in his seminar:
I learned that often my emotional response is determined by how I interpret events. When we react emotionally, it happens very fast and seems immediate. Actually, the sequence is like this:1. Event
2. Meaning/Interpretation
3. Feeling
4. Behavioral responseFor example, a man gives a woman flowers. That is the event. How does she react? It depends on how she interprets the event.
Event: He gave me flowers.
Interpretation: He loves me.
Feeling: Happy.
Response: Gives him a kiss.Event: He gave me flowers.
Interpretation: He must be feeling guilty about something.
Feeling: Suspicion.
Response: Throws the flowers away.Event: He gave me flowers.
Interpretation: He?s trying to get in my pants.
Feeling: Depends on whether you want this guy in your pants or not.
Response: Buy lingerie or stock up on red pepper spray.I learned in therapy that my interpretations were often based on false assumptions. I learned to be very careful about my interpretations, check them, ask questions, and try to be very rational about them because my interpretations determine my feelings, which, in turn, determine my behavior.
We can?t directly control what we feel. We do have a measure of control over the thinking and interpretations that produce our feelings. Once I understood what causes behavior, I also understood that it is very dangerous for me to try to judge the behavior of anyone else. I feel that it is unjust to judge behavior alone without considering intent. I cannot read minds and cannot know what evidence and experience others use to form an interpretation of an event.
This approach is also described in a book by David D. Burns called Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy.
Essentially, this approach teaches critical thinking skills, which are extremely valuable to anyone involved in a religion like Jehovah's Witnesses.
Ginny
link:
Here's a link to a wonderful website put together by a friend of mine. Once there - there are several links to other sites covering Cognitive Behavior Therapy.
Hope you find what you are looking for here:
http://www.bpdresources.com/treatment.html#Cognitive
xw
Many thanks for all your responses. It will take me some time to look up and absorb all the information you have provided but I will be doing it – I didn’t ask the question for nothing.
From what I have gathered so far, I have been over simplifying the problem. For example; I was a heavy smoker for over 40 years even though I knew it was slowly killing me, why?
Because it gave me deep seated feelings of gratification, wellbeing and comfort and even happiness that I was not prepared to trade for anything, even a longer life-span.
These are exactly the same responses that I watch my wife getting when she gets "spiritual gratification" from her involvement with the "truth". It is like a type of euphoria that lifts her and carries her along on the crest of the wave before dumping her in a bout of C.F.S. She would never trade that euphoric experience for anything and believes that it comes from doing Jehovah’s will via the Societies guidance.
She has very little knowledge of the Societies "guidelines" and what she does know she says does not apply to her. She believes that most of the material put out by the FDS is for the benefit of "backward people in developing countries". It only applies to her if it does not stop her doing what she wishes. For example we have a close relative who is disfellowshipped but she goes out of he way to have contact with him. She says that the Society is wrong and it is only through contact that people will return to the "truth", shunning has the opposite effect.
She had no problem in marrying me even though I have no intention of "joining up" and she is a very good wife in almost every way who I love dearly. I never discuss religion with her, she knows my views and I know hers and we do not openly try and convert each-other. However, I would like to help her "out" every bit as much as I suspect she would like to help me "in" – hence my post on this topic.
Thank you all once again.
link
