J-Dubs ain’t easy to talk to and harder to like…
They'd rather give you a tract than say “gesundheit”…
Saturday morning, instead of cartoons,
xxxxit’s the Watchtower brought to your door…
If you say you’re not interested, you’re outta luck;
xxxxthey’ll be back next week offering more.
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be J-Dubs…
Don’t let ‘em get baptized at seven years old,
xxxxor take ‘em out knockin’ on doors in the cold.
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be J-Dubs…
They’ll never quite manage to think for themselves,
xxxxjust know how to do what they’re told..
J-Dubs might not smoke weed or watch R-rated movies…
They’d rather stay home than go drinking on Saturday night…
That’s all fine and dandy if you’re eighty-six,
xxxxand waiting, one foot in the grave…
But a kid needs some fun in his life while he’s young,
xxxx‘stead of being a Watchtower slave.
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be J-Dubs…
Don’t let ‘em be judged by a self-righteous putz,
xxxxteach ‘em to stand up show they got guts…
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be J-Dubs…
Pretty sure they would rather be shoveling shit,
xxxxthen have pedophiles groping their butts.
Oh, mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be J-Dubs…
Let ‘em date pretty girls that they know from school,
xxxxCollege’ll teach ‘em they’re nobody’s fool.
Yes, mamas, if you keep your babies from growin’ up J-Dubs…
They’ll be thankin’ you all through the rest of your life;
xxxxhell, they might even think that you’re cool.