My failed attempts to help my brainwashed family

by Addison0998 18 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Addison0998

    First of all I just want to say a quick thank you to all of you who’s been listening to my story and my little rants and dilemmas lol. This website has helped me so much to not feel alone and to keep me from feeling like I’m going crazy.

    Anyways, I’m defenitly going to try much harder from this point on to play the part until I move out after this summer. I’ve tried to bring up a few points of reasoning with my family, but their cognitive dissonance is so strong. I talked to my dad about the child abuse scandal, and I asked him, can you imagine a child confiding in you about being sexually abused, and saying, well sorry, you have no witnesses, nothing we can do for you. And he said well unfortunately that is the case a lot of the time and there is nothing we can do. I told him about the story in Deuteronomy about the girl getting raped and there were no witnesses around to hear her scream for help, and the rapist was still punished. He had no response, but still defended the way we did things and said the Catholics are much worse.

    I spoke to my mom about the disfellowshipping arrangement and how our view of repentance and reinstatement was much different than the Bible’s. I asked her if she would completely shun one of her children. And her response was so weird, she said, “Well if one of you leave, we are still going to be JW, go to meetings and out in service, but your not anymore, they would want us to be involved with their life, but we will be too busy being Jehovah’s Witness. WHAT??! Lol, I never heard that one before, but she her logic never makes sense anyways.

    And lastly, I spoke to my sister about the 607 issue, and told her that there is a lot of evidence that 607 is not the date Jerusalem was destroyed. I told her if it is not true, that means that 1914 means nothing, and explained to her how that would make a lot of other things fall apart. She said, “Well that’s ok, it would still be the truth.” I reasoned with the also about twisted scriptures or scriptures the WT ignores, she actually got scared and said, “You seem to know your scriptures really good, and your starting to sound like apostate!” Lol wow whoops

    I give up, I felt I had a responsibility to help my family the best I could so they wouldn’t have to waste their life anymore, but they will probably never let go, as I s heard before, religion is an affair of the heart. They did ask me if I was reading apostate stuff and I denied and started acting “right”, so they’ve layed off me for now. Anyways, thanks for listening.

  • blownaway

    It is impossible to make someone use their critical thinking if they refuse to do so. I worked with a guy who I not only grew up with but we were good friends. We became partners in business. I started to become awake in the 80s and started in the early 90s to say if they change what a "generation" is then I am out. In 95 when the changed the definition of the word,I threw down the watchtower mag and said I am done. I would talk to him about 607 BCE, all the wrong predictions and even had parts of the crisis of conscience I would read to him. The only time he ever walked away was if there was a chance someone would hear. If we were in the van driving to the next job he would talk all day. Once in a Library when the internet was new I looked up Randy Waters site and he walked away looking around. Once I said that the JWs were like the Scientologists to an elder and that elder went off the rails and tried to get to repeat it in front of two elders, then my partner left the business and would not talk to me. I had went too far and he was afraid for his reputation in the cult.

    I learned that you can not make someone think. My Grandfather was a CO for years, Special Pioneer for many years and elder for what seemed like ever. He would talk to me in private and admit he knew about 607 for years and that the society was wrong on many points but it was still a good way to live. Many are not in it because they believe but that their social life is built on it.

  • LongHairGal


    I agree with you that most Witnesses are there because of their social life and family.

    In my opinion, they do not CARE what they are supposed to believe (if they even know - and I doubt many can explain it). This is what it’s come to!

  • carla

    Part of the problem with trying to wake somebody up is that even if they agree with you at the moment of conversation the next time they see other jw's or ask an elder they quickly turn back to jw think. The constant meetings, fs and busy work of jw's keeps their head in the wt, that's how cults work.

    I can't tell you how many times my jw would agree with me then go to a meeting or fs and then act as if we never even had the conversation at all. I used to think he was outright lying now I am not so sure, I think he truly believed he never said such a thing.

    I have since given up trying to reach him. I have come to the conclusion that he must open his own mind and nothing this lowly woman could say would make a bit of difference in that department.

    I wish you well on your journey and truly hope you don't lose your family in the process. Please do remember that there is a whole world out there that will love you unconditionally.

  • Giordano

    Addison based on my long life and even more on the hundreds of personal stories and experiences on this forum it does not pay to expose yourself............. to true believers. More people get DF because they talked to a close family member or close friend who then threw them under the bus.

    Your new understanding of real events and the fact that those pesky little scriptures the JW and it's parent organization never refer to....tells a different truth.. that it is either made up or slanted just like every other religion.

    And in high control religions obedience is more important then Faith and obedience is still more important then Truth. And the most important thing for a JW is not to be thrown out of their village.

    Bid your time, leave when your ready.

  • jp1692
    Addison: [My dad] defended the way we did things and said the Catholics are much worse.

    Of course he did. The Catholics may have been worse, but they don’t seem to be any more when it comes to the issue of child abuse.

    Either way, it’s not much of a defense to say that others whom are much maligned are worse. That’s really setting the bar pretty low.

  • jp1692
    Girodano: it does not pay to expose yourself............. to true believers. More people get DF because they talked to a close family member or close friend who then threw them under the bus.

    True dat.

    Let’s review: It’s a cult!

  • Whynot

    For almost 2 decades I stayed in even though I knew about the incorrect prophecies and other incorrect teachings. I spoke to an elder about my doubts and he told me to "wait on Jehovah" to clarify things. He also asked me "where would you go?" So I stayed and even defended the incorrect teachings. I would compare it to being in an abusive relationship. Most people stay because they think things will get better and have nowhere else to go.

    It took me a long time to decide all of this was wrong and I wasn't going to put up with it anymore.

    Be patient with your family. It takes some faithful JWs years to wake up. You want to give this information in tiny amounts and in a joking way. Make it humorous. You can joke about Rutherford and Beth Sarim, what a silly man poor thing hahaha.

  • Finkelstein

    but we will be too busy being Jehovah’s Witness

    Its kind of a euphemistic threat

    And lastly, I spoke to my sister about the 607 issue, and told her that there is a lot of evidence that 607 is not the date Jerusalem was destroyed. I told her if it is not true, that means that 1914 means nothing.

    Yes correct, there is a mountain of evidence through archeological findings that 586 BCE was the year of the final destruction of ancient Jerusalem, not to mention the bible's evidence.

    1914 was held onto by the WTS. via J Rutherford through Russell's past dating of using Pyramidology to calculate the end times or Jesus's taking of his heavenly throne and the start of "This Generation".

    Jesus instructed and admonished his true faithful followers to not make up or preach a certain time of these events, so the WTS attempt to do so is apostate in nature.

    ... but hey it did help to proliferate literature didn't it ?

  • mentalclarity

    So now you're in the stage of waking up that I'll call "reality really sinking in that you will lose your family and there is no reasoning with them".

    At first there was this naivety that we want to cling to. My family will be different, I'll be able to reason with them. They are pretty bright people and they'll be able to see through the bullshit. Well, I hate to be so cynical but 9 times out of 10 they won't be able to see it. You can't even imagine how many times I have scratched my head thinking "how the hell can they not see this?"...I mean I'm talking about some pretty sharp family members.

    I'm sorry you're going through this- the bad news is that your relationship with jw family will never be the same again. The good news is you'll be able to make new relationships in time that are actually based on unconditional love and that is freaking amazing. If you'd never woken up, you'd never have an opportunity to experience that.

    If they do wake up it will be on their own time.

Share this