The TRUE story of creation.
>
>In The Beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth.
>And the Earth was without form, and void,
>And darkness was upon the face of the deep.
>
>And the Devil said,
>"It doesn't get any better than this."
>
>And so God created Man in His own image;
>Male and female He created them.
>
>And God looked upon Man and Woman
>And saw that they were lean and fit.
>And God populated the earth
>With broccoli and cauliflower and spinach
>And green and yellow vegetables of all kinds,
>So Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
>
>
>And so the Devil created McDonald's.
>And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger.
>And the Devil said to Man,
>"You want fries with that?"
>
>And Man said, "Super size them."
>And Man gained five pounds.
>
>And so God created the healthful yogurt,
>That Woman might keep her figure
>But the Devil brought forth chocolate.
>And Woman gained five pounds.
>
>And God said,
>"Try my crispy fresh salad."
>And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's.
>And Woman gained 10 pounds.
>
>And God said, "Why doth thou eatest thus?
>"I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables
>And olive oil with which to cook them."
>
>But the Devil brought forth chicken fried steak
>So big it needed its own platter.
>And Man gained 10 pounds
>And his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
>
>And so God brought forth running shoes.
>And Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
>
>And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control
>So Man would not have to toil to change
>channels between ESPN and ESPN2.
>And Man gained another 20 pounds.
>
>And so God brought forth the potato,
>A vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
>
>And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
>center into chips and deep-fat fried them.
>And the Devil created sour cream dip.
>
>And Man clutched his remote control
>And ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.
>
>And the Devil saw and said,
>"It is good."
>
>And Man went into cardiac arrest.
>And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
>
>And the Devil cancelled Man's health insurance.
>
>So God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken
>And cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice.
>
>And the Devil created light beer
>So Man could poison his body,
>While feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much
>of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz.
>And Man gained another 10 pounds.
>
>And Woman ventured forth
>Into the land of Godiva chocolate,
>And upon returning asked Man,
>"Do I look fat?"
>
>And the Devil said,
>"Always tell the truth."
>
>And Man did.
>
>And Woman went out from the presence of Man
>And dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer,
>East of the marriage counselor.
>
>And the Devil said,
>"It doesn't get any better than this."
Carmel posted this another place. His sense of humor doesn't shine through to here sometimes.
waiting
Edited by - waiting on 22 July 2000 13:51:37