Do you cut more slack for XJW's ?
I find that when I meet people I tend to be very relaxed and will assess them eventually, but I don't want any JW judgmental nonsense, so I allow them a lot of "slack", and take them as they are etc etc.
This has been fine with normal people who have never been a JW, and I have had no problems.
But I find my judgment has been awry with some XJW's, I tend to think that they will have gone through a similar journey to me, and therefore they will have determined, like me, to be a much better person than I was as a JW.
But just the odd XJW has caught me out, and despite giving them many chances, I have found that they are TOXIC, and simply not the kind of person I wish to have in my life.
I suppose this is down to my naivety, but I just thought that they might have wished to turn out better, not so it seems.
I have to say this is actually the exception, nearly every XJW I know is actually rather lovely, and loving, but not all. Silly me, still hoping for Paradise I suppose.
In my opinion WT trains people to be narcicissts. It can be unlearned but it takes recognizing that as a jw you are taught you "right" "special" "true" "chosen." Your rights as a jw are more important than anyone elses for eg if you want time off for an assembly and your boss says no than your boss is unreasonable and out to get you because you are JW. If you don't want blood your Dr is being unreasonable. If your teacher expects you to answer exam questions about evolution your teacher is being unreasonable. If your worldly family want you to spend time with them at the holidays they are being selfish and demanding on and on it goes. The world is supposed to revolve around you as a JW. When you leave some still expect the world to revolve around them and everything that happens only matters in how it relates to them it's still all "look at me look at me look at me." It can be unlearned but it takes time and recognizing how self-centered the religion was that you came out of.
I think the mistake some people sometimes make is assuming that because someone else has gone through a similar experience that they will have some affinity with them. This seems especially true of exJWs - "hey, you're one of us! we'll get along ... right?"
Many people who are exJWs have been harshly treated by the WTS, but not all have - some were kicked out because they were and still are vile people.
I think we live in hope that people are "nice" but it's dangerous to let your guard down completely before you really get to know someone. For no other reason than the person concerned may be praying on the emotionally vulnerable.
The JW way is teaching those to be complete douchebags to non JWs.
In other words, whoever doesn't choose the JW way of life, is pretty much bird food.
Some exJWs never leave the Watchtower Mindset..
.............They Just Find a New Soap Box..
..........................TO PREACH ON..
I think leaving that very controlling religion just allows people to be who they really are. It's sort of like when people drink too much: some are nice drunks, others mean drunks, some get weepy or horny, others want to fight, curse and break things. The loss of inhibition in either case simply allows people to exercise their id. So I don't assume anything in regards to what to expect when I encounter an ex-JW, they will be who they will be, and my common past experiences with them may mean absolutely nothing.