Tanny....you have a message in your inbox.
As far as my values as a dub.......I have most of them. As far as every dime I make and giving ceaser all his cut............................well
Gumby
Even though you left the WTS...........
by Sassy 20 Replies latest members private
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kgrrl
Hi, I'm new here...
I wouldn't say my values changed once I no longer was a JW. I was raised a JW so I didn't have a choice in whether I wanted to attend meetings or not. I am an adult now and NOT a JW. I am free to make my own decisions for my life and damn it, that is what i do! It is such a relief to be able to be the person I want to be.
I have to admit, when I lost JW status at seventeen, I got involved in everything. I didn't know my limits and I made a lot of mistakes. I lacked social skills as well. Oh, what a learning experience those first couple of years were. I had to figure of who I really was, not the person I was told I had to be.
Now I'm smiling....cuz I'm me!
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simplesally
I guess I have to say that my values did not change......I just think that I was controlling myself to conform to rules that I didn't necessarily agree with in the first place.
What I mean is that I think that people should date without a chaperone. I think that grown-ups should live together before marriage. Now because I was a JW, I was forbidden to do the things that I felt were ok.
I rarely watched R rated movies for a long time. Then I just said whatever and did what I wanted.
I know most won't agree with me, but I don't agree with homosexuality. I still like many gay people but I don't agree with their lifestyle.
I guess there were a lot of things that I didn't agree with.
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bisous
I have had lots of mixed emotions about values as well. I left the religion when I was about 21 after 15 years of brainwashing. I slowly cast away all of the beliefs (in a couple of years began celebrating Christmas, I dated whom I wanted when I wanted, etc.). I have been out for 20 years but drifting. I am now agnostic, so find less and less meaning in even Christmas etc. Don't believe JW doctrine but can't get into other teachings either. Kind of a limbo. a very long limbo
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mooneyes
I con relate to limbo. Thats exactly where I am at regarding my beliefs. I guess I'm agnostic. I celebrate holidays now. Have no problems with gay people, belive in a womans right to choice ... But I still have not voted (even though I have strong opions as to who I would vote for) Don't like anything to do with ghosts or such things.
I guess for us who have left after a long time in, especially if we were raised witnesses it will take some time to work it all out in our heads.
Mooneyes
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Sassy
I am not sure if my values have changed. I guess that was why I brought it up.. I guess in a way they did some and yet not in others.
It really never bothered me to watch an "R" rated movie. I just watched which ones I rented when other JWs were coming over to visit who were better about obeying that rule than I was and then rented PG13 movies for them.
I did always like a little to drink and many times more than my conscience wanted to admit, but I typically didn't think about it, because if I did, then I'd have more guilt to deal with.. now I have no guilt. I know I am not overdrinking and so I am not going to worry about it..
I have noticed my swearing has increased though. I never used to swear at all.. these days there are some words that ONLY fit the conversation..
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simplesally
Well, sns, I have not heard you use a swear word yet!
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Sassy
That must be because I never have a reason to swear around you... You are always so nice to me!
besides... I do keep in mind the little one and a good honorary Auntie would not be teaching her bad words!!
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BluesBrother
I heard so much talk when I was a dub, to the effect that if people "Leave the truth" then everything goes to pot, they end up wasting their lives and"Gnashing their teeth in sorrow"
Consequently, when I stopped believing, I was determined to show that my morality was my morality, not just what I had been told to do in order to get the reward.
That is not to say that I have not changed at all in my outlook. eg, If I were single and planning to marry then I would definately live together first.(Who doesnt?)
But I feel that I have something to prove about myself, so I have kept pretty much the same.Entertainment? most dubs I know seem to make up their own minds as to which films to see, and I always loved heavy rock music
It is a strange new experience when you realise that what one believes on matters of conscience is up to you. You do not first check out "What the Society say", How about abortion?Genetic engineering?Medical practices? it us up to you now. And your opinion is as good as anybody else's.You are no longer a woolly minded sheep that has to be told what to do.
Welcome Tanny!!!
It is a whole new experience and a journey on which you will learn as you go, Keep posting..
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Sassy
If I were single and planning to marry then I would definately live together first.(Who doesnt?)
I know I would never marry again without testing the goods... that was a very difficult lesson to learn..