Your discipline as a JW child was it effective, made you a better person?

by James Mixon 4 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  James Mixon

  How has NOT sparing the rod(raised JW) change the way you discipline your children today?

  An incident that happen last week with the grandkids made me think about how I raised my kids.

  My wife daughter and her family. The 8 year old the first time a friend will stay the week end so he was very

  excited, a weekend of various fun activities. Ten minutes after his 6 year old friend arrived someone wrote

  F-A-R-T on the walls in chalk. Ok no big deal, right. But the way mother and father handle it made me think,

  did I raised my kids right.

  The kids were ask who wrote the word on the wall, no one knew nothing. My 12 year old grandson told his mom

  "mom, why would I write something like that". The 8 year old(grandson) not me and the 6 year old friend "I don't

  know how to spell the word". She told them you won't get into trouble, I just need to know.

  Well the mother told the boys no fun weekend for you two, I will call your mom to come and pick you up.

  The 6 year old starts packing his things and the 8 year old runs into his room crying. So after a few minutes the

  8 year old comes out and said, "he may had did it".LOL

  Anyway they made him write 100 times, I lied.

  I don't remember how we handle issues with my kids but I didn't beat them but the wife and different story.
• 

  flipper

  At least your 8 year old grandson didn't write f-u-c-k on the walls. Jesus Christ. I think the fact that he admitted doing it should have been commended by his mom and he should have been shown appreciation by his mom for his honesty even though he wouldn't admit it at first. By disciplining him to the extreme- this mother is setting up this boy for future offenses he commits - perhaps serious ones - where he might NEVER tell his mom about what he does or he'll get disciplined severely. Just my 2 cents from having raised 3 kids to adulthood myself. It's more of a control thing for the mother but it stunts open communication acting arbitrarily like that.

  I think a more appropriate discipline would have been to have the 8 year old clean off the writing on the wall and explain to him that even though he was trying to be funny by writing " fart " - it's not funny being destructive to his mom & dad's and his personal property. Not letting him have his friend stay over or writing 100 times " I won't lie " is excessively extreme in my opinion.

  As regards your opening title on the thread my elder dad's whipping me with a belt didn't make me a better person growing up- it just made me NOT want to communicate with my dad is all. I figured if I shared my hopes and dreams with him he'd never value my opinion anyway so why open up to him ? His whole goal in life was to make me feel worthless anyway- but I was lucky to have a JW mother who valued me and communicated with me. I give HER credit for me turning out as a positive adult.

  So in my opinion - keeping the lines of communication OPEN with kids is the important thing- not dominating them. Teach them, train them- yes- but do it with kindness so you respect them and leave their dignity intact
  
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  James Mixon

  Good points flipper didn't think of that "should have been shown appreciation by his mom for

  his honesty". For years I worried about my kids raising their children and not repeating the

  kind of discipline they received, I'am happy to say they are not. With my kids the line of communication

  between them and their children is very good, I'm thankful for that.

  I find it interesting to compare the childhood of a none JW child(my wife children) and mine,

  they are all around the same age.
• 

  Diogenesister

  Couldnt agree more with flipper. Making an excited 8 year old who is trying to keep his friend entertained write 'I lied' 100 times seems rarther Victorian.

  The one thing I have always been terrified of with my boys is that they hide things from me. That is when the real trouble starts. I would always reward honesty...even the courts do so.
• 

  James Mixon

  Diogenesister: to be honest my first thought I thought they handle it well, but from

  your comments I see it could have been handle better. I figured, ok they

  didn't beat him, but you want to keep the line of communication open that's the

  important thing. When I hear folks making the comments, yes when I was a child my dad or mom

  beat the crap out of me, look at me now that's what is needed with children today a good butt

  whipping. Folks beating your kids do not work!!!