Should I send my condolence?

by James Mixon 16 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    Friends I served with in the missionary work the wife passed this past week.

    My son told me today, his JW mother told him. I was really close to this family, it's

    been over 20 years since I saw them last. But the husband an elder in his 70's

    now and his lovely wife and kids, I learned a lot from this family.

    A few years ago my son, never baptized was visiting his mom and one of the brothers that is still

    in the missionary work was here on vacation (work really) and two other elders that also served in

    that country took my son his mom and her husband out for day of fishing.

    My son later told me dad it was weird, the conversation the whole day, the fun we had in

    the missionary work. My son was born there, so all the stories were new to him.

    I guess it got out of hand because my ex wife husband became upset and ask why are you

    guys talking about an Apostate. He left Jehovah, just let me out of the boat. LOL

    There are some JW's that are basically good people, but like I said it's been over 20 years.

    Both their kids left the borg and I know it hurt them, but they did not shun their kids.

    In fact I would love to call the husband to give my condolence, they were married over 50 years.

    Some of you may think , what's the problem just do it.

    Well five years ago my sister gave instruction to her husband (my brother-in law), their kids to

    inform me not to come to her funeral . She told them this a week before she died.

  • AudeSapere

    When in doubt, be kind. I believe it is an act of human kindness to reach out to a person who has lost someone in death.

    Let them know you are alive and doing well. And that you remember them fondly.

    Just don't let them guilt you into anything. Keep it kind and loving. Remember the love that was shown you.

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon
    AudeSapere: Thanks
  • millie210

    I love what Aude said.

    They sound like good people and if you dont reach out you may regret it. If they spurn your attempt, it is on them.

    It doesnt sound like that will happen though. I bet they will be glad you got in touch.

  • Scully

    It's the decent thing to send condolences to the family of someone who was a friend.

    It's a shitty thing to do to exclude people from a funeral, to deny them the opportunity to grieve and share memories with other friends and loved ones.

    You can be decent. Let the JWs be shitty.

  • GrreatTeacher

    I would send a message of condolence to the husband. It's the right thing to do in any other normal human relationship.

    However, be aware that he might not greet you with open arms, and if you can live with that possible outcome, I would say go for it.

    And on the other hand, he may be overjoyed to hear from you. And that possibility might make it really worth it to try to reach out to him.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Always take the high road; that's what I do when I'm not lying to people.

  • Crazyguy
    Be the better person.
  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    Thanks to all of you, good advice.

  • Gorbatchov
    Good advise here!

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