Disfellowshipped ex-wife Dies - Now What?

by snugglebunny 19 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • snugglebunny

    It was a shock despite us being divorced for over 40 years. My son from that marriage phoned me with the news of Sandra's death a couple of days ago, followed by my daughter's phone call.

    Sandra was one of 5 siblings. The other 4 are still JW's. It seems unlikely that any will attend the funeral. I shall attend, as will Sandra's non- JW last husband.

    I'm not attending purely to support our kids either. You can't be that close to someone, even if it was only for a few years, and then write them out of existence entirely. I'm going to attend because I want to.

  • JWdaughter

    I'm sorry for your loss. I feel the same way about ex. At the end, he is my kids dad. That matters to me mostly because of them, but there are good memories, too.

    It sucks about her family.

  • EyesOpenHeartBroken

    I am sorry for your loss. It is very good of you to attend the service. Though you are not attending only for the support of your children, they will feel your love for them and their mother all the more so. 🌹

  • Xanthippe

    My condolences to you Snugglebunny. How sad that her JW family won't be there. Just speechless at these people.

  • sparky1

    snugglebunny, you are a class act! A real gentleman treats others with dignity and respect.

  • Worldling9

    Way to step up, snugglebunny. I am so sorry for your family's loss.


  • KiddingMe

    I am sorry for your loss snugglebunny.

  • snugglebunny

    Thank you for your kind words everyone. It's quite a strange experience. I've been married to Mrs Snuggles for over 40 years and we have a great family, lots of children and grandchildren. The marriage to Sandra wasn't a happy one - for either of us. We'd both been brought up as JW's since childhood and, like many witness kids, didn't pick up much wisdom or common sense. When you're in a cult, your maturation is greatly impeded.

    We didn't communicate at all for many years, so great was our mutual hostility. Then, our daughter brokered a peace deal and we both realised we were way too old to be indulging in such infantile nonsense. We met up, enabled by Mrs Snuggles and laid our anger to rest. I'm glad we did.

  • mayushii

    I'm so sorry for your loss. :-( Every loss is different, so it might not feel this way for you, but I always take deaths harder when it's someone with whom I shared a difficult/ambivalent relationship. Be kind to yourself during this difficult time.

    I never understood the logic that JWs shouldn't attend funerals for DF'd people, especially considering their belief that the dead are unconscious until resurrected. It would be a better "witness" to show some common decency for once and be there for the family of the deceased! What horrible people.

  • millie210

    Mrs Snuggles sounds like an amazing woman and Im glad you two have each other.

    I am sorry for the loss you and your children have to go through and I am saddened that family members in this religion (any religion - but especially one who says it promotes love) are acting this way.

    my best to you all.

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