Need some Input! (page 2)

Double Edge

Too bad... you're sister is the one who is the big "loser" (in more ways than one). How about getting your nephews's photos thru your "worldly aunt".

Take care.

btw.... that's some avitar

Carmel

Too bad you family of JDumbs follow Apostle Paul instead of Jesus! Guess then that's the case of many Xtian cults.

I hope you can be strong and not cave in to the emotional blackmail.

carmel

ESTEE

(((((Sunnygal)))))

I'm so sorry to hear your experience. What you actually went through was a "shunning"...

I know. I have two grown kids who shun me a lot more severely ... in the sense that they would not speak a word to me or associate with me in any form ... because they might "catch" a demon... My daughter got married in September. I was excluded completely. My son moved to another town and did not update me. Ouch!

Honey ... know you are not alone here. There are quite a few of us who experience being shunned by our most loved and cherished family members. They call it "loving" us. I just call it cruelty.

PM me if you want to vent.

ESTEE

jgnat

Sunnygal, sorry to hear you went through that. I am pretty sure your sister went "beyond what is written". That could be for several reasons. She may be overdoing it in an effort to show off her zeal. This may have been the first chance she could "demonstrate" her "great sadness" over your "poor choice". Or else she could simply be a nasty sister, and this is a convenient opportunity. You would know her best.

Next time, try expressing your hurt simply but firmly. "I am hurt that you would refuse me even this small thing. Sorry, but I have to hang up now." Also, you don't have to make things easier on her by filling up the silences. Let her discomfort grow. I like the idea of obtaining the pictures through your mom.

undercover, I take a small exception to this comment,

Only ex-JWs will understand. Others outside the religion will never get it.

I was never a JW, but I am still capable of compassion. There are plenty of inconsiderate siblings and dysfunctional families out there - even outside the JW's! Someone like me can relate if we place the rejections we have faced in similar context.

FreeFallin

(((((((((Sunnygal))))))))))))))))

Idiotic behavior by idiotic people. I'm sorry you've been hurt by them.

Kat

frenchbabyface

(((SunnyGal)))

That is how far they are abble to go on I would say LITTLE BIG STUFF ... Talking to you should be more a probleme than sending you pics of her kids ... their INSENSITIVE SENSITIVITY is just SO ... whatever ...

Be patient and strong ... cause it's a long way to go

Take care

Corinne

Sunnygal41

I want to thank all who posted and gave me emotional support and encouragement regarding my sister. Since I began my trek out of the Dubs five years ago, I have been doing alot of thinking about life, and my family and friends and acquaintances. I've gotten very very choosy as to who I consider a close friend and find that I don't need to be liked or loved by everyone anymore. For so many years I tried so hard to fit in to the borganization, and was constantly rebuffed for my efforts. As time and years went by I just grew unhappier and unhappier. Finally, I realized what I needed to do and I did it. I also ended my marriage of twenty years at the same time as I left the borg. During the lead up to separation and divorce, when everyone was in shock and fear I went and spent 3 weeks at my sister's house, and it was then that I began to realize that she and I had very little in common. Our thoughts, feelings and views on life are just soooo different. Not surprisingly, we ended up having a huge row and both of us agreed that we really didn't like the other very much! It doesn't hurt much not to have HER in my life, but my nephews are another story altogether. That hurts. My sister is an intellectualizer. I am a big mushball emotional huggy type. When I first discovered/realized how little I really liked her, I was shocked and embarrassed, and I thought something was wrong with me. But, as I've explored my feelings, I've come to realize that friendship is all about being attracted to people who share like ideas, goals and feelings, and the same type of personality traits. I do have two or three women in my life now who I absolutely feel that type of connection for. But, I do not feel this with my sis. I never did. I just grew up with her in the same house. We never liked the same things and were very different personality wise. Alot of you said the same thing in different ways and have helped me to reaffirm that it is okay to be me, that the me that I am is quite okay and I don't have to beat myself up because of my sister's behavior. Thank you so much for caring, and I do enjoy this board very much. I enjoy the banter and emotional highs and lows that each and every one of you share and I realize that we are all here for each other! I also want to ask if the avatar is offensive, I was just in a silly mood the other day and changed it from my old one. I can remove it and put something else in it's place if consensus is that it is inappropriate................actually it was sent to me by a girlfriend. The writing on it says: "does this thong make my ass look big?" I thought it was hilarious, but some might find it tacky. I am a "fat bottomed girl" myself.

Terri

czarofmischief

hey, you make the rockin' world go round...

As for your sister, she might come around. It is encouraging that she is willing to talk to you at all. You might have surprised her, and after she thinks about your request for a while, maybe she'll relent a little.

CZAR

Sunnygal41

LOL! My boyfriend thinks so! She WILL talk with me about my mother, who is ill. Other than that, she has made it clear that she will not engage in any debates.........I noticed her sensitivity to make that point clear during the conversation, when I was stating my belief/opinion/view of something and she said that she wasn't going to get into it, then, I could tell she felt deflated when I, in return, made it clear that I had no intention in engaging, I was merely making my thoughts known. She has always taken refuge in being a "know it all". It used to piss my ex off to no end........LOL! I look at it as a "mask" for her insecurities. And, I think you are right about thinking about it, because, she then said that my oldest nephew has a web site with pictures on them, altho she did not know the addy to give to me.

Terri

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