My Story

by Kathy1978 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Kathy1978

    So here it is. I was a 3rd generation JW on my mom’s side and both of my parents were JWs when I was born. Me and my 3 siblings were raised a bit on the strict side. No sports, outside association, college, mandatory meeting attendance & service routine, etc. I got baptized when I was 11. I did pioneer for a short while around 2003 with my mom, dad & grandmother. So JWs by the book pretty much. I started having doubts around 16, but like a good JW was taught, left it in Jehovah’s hands and continued on.

    I married my husband, who is also a born-in, in 2005 and we re-located to his parents state. We were in a great congregation when I had our first child, fun people to be around, laid back, not too nosey, so it was easier to shut down the increasing doubts I had over the years. It wasn’t until 2014 that I seriously started to question things on a deeper level. It was 3 weeks after having our second child that we relocated to a different city to be closer to my husband’s work. We hadn’t been to the new congregation yet and didn’t know anyone. I was home alone a lot with my then toddler and new born. My family lives in another state and we moved away from the city my husband’s family lived in, which is about an hour away. My “friends” that I did have didn’t visit much.

    Anyway, with all the free mental time I had since going to the meetings was challenging and I didn’t listen in due to being exhausted from adjusting to 2 children and my husband’s work schedule, the doubts could not be ignored anymore. I can’t pinpoint an exact thing that made me research the org., but my gut told me I had make sure if I’m going to raise my children like I was, it had to be true. Because that’s a lot to deal with growing up like that. So I opened my tablet with shaky hands lol...and just typed in Jehovah’s Witnesses, see what popped up. First site I clicked on was and I started reading. was pretty shocked to learn of all the lies I had been told and was living. This was in March of 2015.

    By June I had told my husband, who admitted he’d been having his own doubts over the years of it being true so we agreed to fade until he was ready to tell his family. After a couple of meetings, we realized we couldn’t do it. We didn’t want our children to be exposed to it anymore. So we each told our closest friends we didn’t believe anymore who, predictably, immediately shunned us. After that we just walked away. No disassociation letters, we just stopped going. The Elders tried to contact my husband to talk to us a few times. Each time he told them we didn’t need them to come see us and if we did, he would let them know. They pretty much left us alone after that.

    We finally told his family early 2016. Initially his parents shunned us but not his siblings. One of his older siblings convinced his parents to talk to us, reminding them that we weren’t disfellowshipped or disassociated. Eventually they came around and we just don’t talk about the religion and everything else is cool.

    As for my family, I only have 1 sibling still in and he shuns all of us. Life has been up and down since leaving. But we always say to each other our worst day out is 100 times better than our best day in the cult.

    So that’s the gist of my story. Sorry so long lol!

  • All or nothing
    All or nothing

    Enjoyed your story! I wish we would have started a family- we stupidly bought into the whole wait to the new system bs when we were in. Isn't it interesting how moving away from family changes your faith? That happened to us.

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Dear K78, thanks for writing, it's nice to hear the process of thinking that people go thru from 'all in' to 'all out'....

    When you said "staying home and being alone" gave you time to think, I really think that is happens to many, and is the beginning for many and that is why WT is constantly stressing meetings, study, service, etc. They want your brain to stay indoctrinated. It really is "brainwashing", and without someone to constantly remind you of your obligations, your beliefs, the brainwashing fades, right? I have heard of missionaries or people who go to 'foreign language' congregations who do not hear the 'rinse, wash, repeat' and it has the same effect on them.

    Why did we go over and over and over the same subjects, the same phrases, the same everything that we knew back and forth? To keep us on the hamster wheel, our brains had no chance.

    So glad that you made it out, and your husband too! Yay! Especially your children will not have to go thru the brain twists that we had to, they won't have to suffer social harm, they can enjoy 'just being kids.' They can play, sing, write, watch TV, and not feel 'guilty'.

    JWfacts is great! I remember when we first "explored" the internet, and came to this apostate site. We already knew the WT was lying (we left upon discovering 607 was a lie, by the hand of their own WTs of 2011!) but still, even joining a site like this is scary at first. haha! Just a bunch of us from the past here. Just the same as you.

    Congratulations! I think more and more people are going to 'come out'... kind of like the wall of Berlin. One day there, the next it was gone!

    Thx again for tellilng your story!

    cha ching!

  • blisterfeet

    I find it interesting that once you were alone, or only with your children, your true thoughts come into focus. It’s difficult to even hear what you’re thinking with so much being pushed into your brain without even knowing it. Follow your instincts mama and your babies will be safe. I’m proud to have read this story. Always trust your primal instincts.

  • Magnum

    Thank you. Enjoyed reading. Same with me - 3rd gen mother's side. Had doubts for a while and then finally really started researching. Saw behind the curtain. Fortunately, my wife, like your husband, was doubting, too.

  • Xanthippe

    Well done not exposing your kids to this cult, Kathy. However hard it is leaving it's harder staying imho. As you put it ......

    we always say to each other our worst day out is 100 times better than our best day in the cult.
  • WingCommander

    Were you born in 1978? If so, I was born in 1979. Isn't it crazy to be almost 40 in this System of Things? Being raised a JW, we were promised right from the podiums that we'd never get to be this old in this wicked system of things, that the New Order would have been here by now. Here we are!!!! Congrats on escaping.

  • tiki

    Congatulations on your journey to reality, Kathy!! Freedom is so energizing...enjoy your babies, hubby and life!!!

  • Kathy1978

    I agree with so many of the comments. Yes, if you are not constantly busy with JW life, you naturally unplug it seems. And I’m also very thankful that my family is out with me and my kids will never have to experience growing up as one.

    @WingComander - Yes, born in 1978!

  • jaydee

    Thanks for sharing

    Image result for emoji reading a book

Share this