We need a more tolerant community to conform in.

by The Rebel 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    As a witness I now realise how little control we really had over our life. Therefore naturally upon leaving everything became less certain. This is because really leaving only happened when I let go of that past. Being able to live in the present moment with a healthy attitude and speak ones own thoughts is something to treasure.

    Do I have anxiety about the future?

    Yes of course, but the difference is I am doing the things I want today & tomorrow and this includes spending days at home with my family, which I certainly consider better than attending meetings, door knocking ect. As for the long time future, aging, illness, death, that's just part of life, so rather than fear it and panic, I simply choose to live in the present. Not knowing the future, is not something to fear, it's just a reminder to enjoy today.

    As for Christmas, I think it funny last year I was celebrating it for my son, but this year I am also celebrating it because it connects me with my new friends, my neighbourhood and I don't want to stand out against it all and be different. Some things never change and I guess I have just found a more tolerant community to conform with.

    So my advice when you decide to leave, find another community to integrate yourself in to, as the bible said " it's not good for man to live alone" and this is true, but as I am an athiest perhaps I should quote the poet John Donne " No man is an island"

    what are my new communities, my football club, my pub friends, my wider circle of friends from leaving.

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe

    The great thing is you don't even need to conform outside this Borg. There are people at work who don't come to the Christmas party, don't bring cards in and a couple of them are openly Bah Humbug about it.

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    Yes so true Xanthippe, I have entered a community/ society where woman have more equal rights, sexual orientation is not a barrier, education is encouraged. The unique differences in individuals and beliefs has been liberating.

  • scratchme1010
    scratchme1010

    That's such a great post. It's real freedom fro all the rules, the fear, and all those things simply to buy into a false sense of security. Certainty about the future is one of the main reasons many people become a JW. The price for it is quite steep.

    I always had a problem with the concept of spending this life preparing for the next, but never thought of your words about letting go of the past. Interesting thoughts. Thank you.

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    Scratchme1010 " That's such a great post"

    Thank you. Glad you got the insight.

    Its funny I was once 50/50 to stay a witness, glad I chose real life. It's not something we should put off. It is however a different road for each individual. Glad my journey found my way here.

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    Me, I'm just relieved I can use evidence and reason to reach a conclusion - any conclusion - without feeling hamstrung by ideology.

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    Vidiot " Evidence and reason to reach a conclusion"

    Then " Vidiot" when leaving the Jehovers Witness did you believe in yourself and leave having spent many afternoons researching indepentedly, or did you have outside contacts? If you did it by yourself, your tough mentally.

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    Very good subject.

    This year we are having a New Year's Day party at our house. We are inviting about 30 people (some will be out of town but it's good for them to hear from us by way of an invitation). They are invited to bring their favorite beverage and something to nosh on. We will provide a big pot of soup, bread, cheese and a basic wine bar etc.

    Most of our friends don't do anything for New Years Eve as there are health and age issues...... night time travel etc.....so this provides an event where we can welcome in the New Year in a safe and comfortable environment.

    There will even be one JW attending. A lovely lady and good friend who I suspect wants out of the JW construct as she is very interested in my limited role on this forum helping and advising those who want to exit the WTBTS.

    Most of our guests will be close friends, neighbors and volunteers/friends that my wife and I have worked with over the past dozen or so years and who we have a great respect and appreciation for.

    There will be three generations of our family in attendance as well. I love seeing my granddaughters 5 and 7 interact with members of our community.....especially a couple of neighbors both of whom are ninety years old.

    We live in a small city of 7,000 people and I swear to whom ever........ we have met just about all of them over the years. It has been a positive and refreshing place to live and age in.

  • Simon
    Simon

    I think people have a much harder time leaving if they base their existence around the WTS still.

    Sure, discuss things online, meetup with exJWs ... but get a life beyond the reaches of the WTS.

    Once you make other friends and have other interests, the JW experience starts to fade much quicker.

    Let go.

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    @ The Rebel...

    All me, dawg.

    That being said, I was cautious, and made sure that the footing on the shore was solid before getting out of the boat.

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