Truthexplorer, if I were your wife, this would be my response to your letter:
First, thank you for your thoughts. I've often wondered if you ever had thoughts. (hahaha...this is humor; I wouldn't add this)
I was rather taken aback in the beginning upon reading that you are writing because you feel that " it is impossible to have a rational adult conversation" with me. Because the computer must have messed up, some of your words are cut off and I'm left to guess at what they say. If my guess is wrong, it will likely make it appear that I'm not trying to have the "rational adult conversation" that you desire, so forgive me in advance that I've chosen to not respond to much for fear of making a wrong guess and making it appear that I don't desire a rational adult conversation.
It would be wonderful if you could give me an example of what you consider to be a "rational adult conversation" and how I've failed in my efforts to fulfill that role in our relationship.
Your letter makes me feel that I've been placed in position of a Judge who is listening to a criminal who is representing and defending himself while possibly hinting that others and their policies are responsible for my feelings and actions. Unfortunately, I don't have the power of a Judge to release you, to sentence you, shorten your sentence, prosecute those who you feel are responsible, or to advise you.
So, giving up my Judgeship, I'll go back to the wife role. Dear heart, many of these issue, I agree with you. Like you, I can't change them. Like you, I can't change others; only myself. If I felt the way you are seeming to feel, I'd be very concerned that where I'm at isn't somewhere I want to be. Is there another place you'd rather be? Never can tell; it might be a place we would both like to be. Maybe in a place we could communicate with our voices and emotions?
If you'd like to discuss it, my schedule is always open for you. If I knew a short while in advance, there could even be some soothing, soft, gentle music and some refreshments.....as soon as I hang my robe. Hoping to hear from you at your convenience.
Your loving devoted wife